Finding Home
by Celtious
Summary: Frigga's gift ensures Loki survives, whisking him to Midgard in the near future where the titan no longer exists, but at a price. Loki changes his form to hide as he recovers, and ends up staying with keen, caring Sophia. How will Loki manage this new life without magic; and without Sophia discovering the truth? FemLoki/OC, Loki/OC, GenderSwap, Post-Infinity War, disregard Endgam
1. Chapter 1

"You should choose your words more carefully," the titan declared, tightening his grip on the man's tiny neck.

Loki's eyes reddened as he kicked and gasped. His life was fading, his heart in his ears, his body turning cold. One final taunt, one final act of defiance fell from the bloodied lips of the God of Mischief.

"You…will never…be…a god."

The world blurred and faded into a distant inclination. Thor's stifled cry of despair echoed; his body crumpled on unforgiving metal. The titan and his companions departed in a flash of amethyst. Now free, the God of Thunder crawled to his brother's side. Loki felt him grasp the front of his armor, silently pleading for something he could not give. The inclination slipped from his grasp, and the prince of two worlds passed into death.

The ruined ship sparked and groaned, and the magic within the younger son of Frigga surged, spending itself one last time.

It was warm; still; something firm but soft cradled his aching form. There was birdsong, the smell of a wood he did not recognize, and the taste of blood still on his tongue. His veins burned and his muscles screamed at him as he forced his eyes open. Sunlight glowed against the thick canopy above him, and slowly the world came into greater focus. He was sprawled on a bed of leaves and twigs, the earth cool and damp as he pushed himself stiffly up to rest against a nearby tree. He was deep in the heart of this forest, wherever it may be, and he was alone.

_'This cannot be Hel, but neither do I think is it Valhalla. Nor does this feel like any forest on Asgard I have seen. Where am I?'_

He did not know how long he sat there, gathering his strength, and pondering the sounds of invisible creatures around him. The sun seemed to be setting, though, so he forced himself to his feet and moved carefully toward where the forest seemed brighter._ 'Where it thins out, that will be the entrance. With any luck, there will be shelter beyond. I do not wish to meet whatever beasts the night brings.' _His mind was still heavy with delirium, his breathing labored, and he thought his bones would shatter as he fell to his knees with exhaustion after a few meters.

A scream ripped through the peace and he flinched. No, not a scream, another bird call; cawing. He blinked around to find the source, watching as an enormous black bird came to perch on a root nearby. It seemed to glower at him with its beady eye, iridescent feathers shimmering as it shifted this way and that.

_'A raven? Perhaps…perhaps one of Odin's, still alive even after his death; am I back on Midgard?' _A spark of hope fizzled in his chest.

Its gaze felt knowing, and it considered the fallen god as a parent or mentor would. Could it truly be? He reached toward the corvid with a shaking hand, his lips moving of their own accord. "Father…?" His voice croaked.

The bird cawed sharply at him and he jerked his hand back. It spread its enormous wings and fluttered off, perching in a tree some distance away. It cawed at him again, watching, waiting. He fought to his feet and stumbled in its direction. Once he was near, the raven fluttered away again to a distant perch to wait. He continued to follow it, noticing how the trees and underbrush gradually thinned out, and soon he was able to see beyond the edge.

Free from the forest, he fell to his knees beside the stream where the raven now sat, exhausted once more. He laid his shaking hands in the water, collecting enough to spread across his clammy skin. The cold refreshed him, and his head began to clear. Slowly, he washed his face clean and sipped enough of the cloudy water to wet his throat. Feeling at least marginally functional again, he sat back on his feet and gave a grateful nod to the corvid.

"Thank you." His voice was still weak, but clear. He ran a wet hand through his wild hair, smoothing it back out of his eyes. "Tell me, which are you: Muninn or Huginn? I never could tell the two of you apart." He had the energy for a simple joke, at least. It was a good sign.

The raven cocked its head. It did not seem to understand him. He tried another question, another tongue, but received no response. He suddenly felt very foolish. _'This thing cannot be one of Odin's, it is far too dull. I followed a mindless beast and chanced out of that place… I still do not know where I am.__'_ Something about the realization cut him deeply, and he chuckled sardonically, scolding himself. He rose to his feet, unsteady, and the corvid fluttered off into the dimming sky. _'I won't find anything of use here, it seems,' he_ thought as he examined the grassy field across the way. Beyond it, he spotted a hill, '_But_ there, a cave or crevice. Just for the night.'__

He wrapped his ruined cape around his shoulders, massaging the soreness from his arms and hands as he made his way through the grass. He forced himself to focus and began forming a plan for survival in this unknown place. All else could come after. The chilled wind picked up as the sun slipped below the horizon, further tangling his hair. He would need to bathe tomorrow. He could not stand the filmy sensation of grime and blood on his skin much longer than that. His stomach reminded him he would need to find food, as well, and a way to care for his armor and underclothing.

Another animal call interrupted his considerations, this time that of a hound. Behind it, the repeated commands from a man for the beast to "heel." It was approaching far quicker than he knew he could hide or retreat.

_'Wherever I am, I cannot be seen like this; I cannot be known.'_

Loki summoned up the last fizzle of power he had and urged his shape to shift.


	2. Chapter 2

I hurried after my cousin and his wayward dog, flashlight at the ready, but off. I knew bringing the shepherd out here was a bad idea, but Timothy had insisted. I dove into the tall grasses following the trail the pair left in their wake and finally caught up. Tim had his dog by the collar, but he focused more on the person in front of them the beast kept barking at.

"I'm so sorry about Angel, she's still a bit of a wild pup." Tim's panted laughter stopped abruptly when he examined the person more closely. "Oh my god… Are you all right?"

The person, a woman I now saw, flicked her eyes quickly between the three of us, terrified. Judging by her state, I couldn't blame her. Her long, dark hair was all but a rat's nest, her black slacks and green shirt tattered and as bloodied as she was. She had her arms wrapped tightly around her middle, defensive, perhaps cold, and she was barefoot. I pulled off my hoodie without a second thought, easing my way closer as Tim dragged Angel away.

"Whatever happened, it's okay. You're okay now, you're safe," I attempted to soothe her. The woman's bloodshot green eyes fixed sharply on me. I held out my hoodie to show I had no tricks up my sleeves, slowly laying it across her shoulders.

"It's okay," I said once more, and she let me tuck it around her. "What's your name?"

She blinked, as though trying to remember. "Lani…"

Her voice was soft and rough, and I noticed bruises around her neck as though she had been choked. Protective anger ignited in my chest, but I kept it inside, not wanting to upset her further. "It's nice to meet you, Lani. I'm Sophia, and that's Tim, my cousin." It was a strange situation to meet someone in, but I wasn't one to forget my manners. "If you need somewhere safe to go, our cabin isn't too far. You can get cleaned up and call whomever you need."

I did my best to sound reassuring and inviting, and it seemed to work. I clicked the flashlight on to the light the path and Lani followed as I made my way back. I didn't try to pry any more information from her just yet. Whatever she had been through, I was certain she was still in shock. My questions could wait.

When the cabin came into sight, Lani hesitated. I figured the sounds of my family outside at the fire pit spooked her and smiled gently. "It's just my aunt and nieces. I won't let them bother you, I promise."

Lani seemed reassured and followed me inside. I took her to the room my nieces and I shared, showing her where she could shower, and laying out some of my looser-fitting clothes to change into.

" I'll be in the living room, just outside. I promise I'm not leaving you alone. Call if you need anything."

With that, I closed the bedroom door and settled into a nearby chair to wait.

_'She's nearly as tall as I am, and I'm tall for a woman.' _Part of me was impressed, another part pleased to have another woman of equal stature around, even if only for a short time. As I suspected would happen, one of my nieces came bounding inside, angled for the bedroom. I quickly shooed her away, insisting she wait for whatever trivial thing she sought.

"But I need-" she began to argue.

"To wait for our guest to finish cleaning up. Remember what I told you about how a man should never treat a woman?"

She nodded, and then her eyes went wide as she realized what I meant. She glanced at the bedroom door with worry and anger on her face before turning on heel and marching back outside.

I listened as the shower ran, and when the water stopped, I prepared the first aid kit on the dining table. Lani appeared soon after; hair toweled dry and roughly combed with my hoodie again around her shoulders over the clothes I gave her.

"Looks like they fit okay," I noted, motioning to a chair next to mine, "are they comfortable?"

"Yes, thank you." Her green eyes flicked around the cabin as she took her seat, resting on the kit in my hands. "I have no need for bandages."

I paused but finished laying out antiseptic and Band-Aids. "That was a good amount of blood on you," I argued, "and that cut above your eye has started oozing again. Better safe than to risk infection, especially out here, yeah?"

Her lips drew into a thin line. "If you insist."

Lani closed her eyes as I carefully worked, and her squared shoulders slowly relaxed. Without a word, she pulled at the pants and sleeves, offering other gashes and cuts that I bandaged with equal care, keeping my reactions to myself. _'She_ must have come from a high-class family; with the way she moves and speaks. Regardless, whoever did this had better fucking hope I never find them…'__

"So…" I began carefully. "How did all this happen? These wounds, your being in the forest?"

She sighed softly. "I cannot remember clearly."

"What about whoever did this? Your family, anything?"

"I do not know what befell him, and my family is…" she trailed off and shook her head. "They are gone. Whomever still lives or where they may be; I would not know where to begin."

I bit my lip and nodded, feeling even more protective of her. "Any friends, perhaps? Anyone at all that could help you?"

She shook her head slightly, as though not wanting to admit to her own answer. Poised and proper, I could not miss just how beautiful she was, even in her despair. I felt ashamed for thinking such a thing at a time like this and gave more attention than was needed to packing away the first aid kit.

"You're free to stay here if you like," I said as I gathered the medical leavings. "Have a meal, get some rest, and you can decide what to do in the morning."

"I would appreciate that, thank you," was all she said.

* * *

Loki had assumed a variety of forms in the past and so quickly grew accustomed to this one. The shift had been rushed and unfocused, but the result was not entirely disagreeable. He did not care for its lack of stature, however. The new name he took from a conversation with Frigga many decades prior, where she mentioned what she would have called her daughter if she'd had one. All current things considered; Loki felt it proper. '_Had the name existed at her birth, Hela would have been named this instead.'_

He-no, she; she was glad to be clean sooner than planned and waited patiently as Sophia tended the cut above her eye. Realizing her body was not healing as quickly as usual, she allowed Sophia to bandage the rest. She knew now that this was Midgard and decided she would play the part of the lone and frightened female until she devised a plan to care for herself. _'I do not think I will be able to change form again for some time, even if I desired. I will have to make the most of this and learn what I can.'_

Loki genuinely appreciated the offer of room and board. She could not bear the thought of being alone, and so joined Sophia and her family outside when dinner was called. She noted the aunt was missing, and the way Sophia remained nearby and kept an eye on her, ensuring she did not have to interact with the others more than necessary. This, Loki appreciated as well. The night drew on, and there was merriment around the bonfire. Loki could tell they were forcing themselves as though trying to ignore something painful if only for the night.

Dinner consisted of fire-cooked meats and vegetables as well as a choice of breads. The wine they shared seemed little better than fruit juice to Loki, but it eased the mortals into their strange Midgardian games. She was not made to take part in these, thank the Nine. The evening chill soon set in, chasing all but Loki, Sophia, and one of the younger girls to their warm beds.

The girl yawned, and Sophia urged her inside for sleep as well.

"What about you two? You're still up," the girl argued accusingly.

"I'm taking care of the fire so the forest doesn't burn down, munchkin," Sophia replied with a touch of sarcasm, "and Lani can do what she likes. Now go on, get." She waved her hand as though shooing a fly and the young girl left, bidding them both 'good night.'

Finally, there was blessed quiet. Loki stared into the embers of the pit as Sophia poked around at them, sending sparks up to dance and die. It reminded her of her seidr. She reached out with her senses, trying to find anything familiar, but there was nothing. No magic, no power, and no hint of anything she knew; just Midgard and its mortals. Usually, this sensation would make Loki uncomfortable or leave her with a feeling of isolation, but right now she found it reassuring. It meant Thanos was not here either. She shuddered involuntarily, fingers touching where his enormous hand had crushed her throat. It was far from her first brush with death, but it was the first wherein she honestly thought she would die. _'How_ am I alive at all...?'__

"Lani…?" Sophia ventured quietly, concerned.

Loki gave her a soft smile, hoping to satisfy her curiosity so she would not question her further. Sophia nodded, seeming unconvinced, but did not press. Eventually, fatigue pulled irresistibly at Loki's eyes. Sophia finished drowning the pit and accompanied her inside.

"You can sleep in my bed. It's more comfortable than anything else we have available right now."

Loki cringed at the thought of being so far from an easy exit, and adopted a meek, polite countenance. "Please, I could not displace you. I will be glad for whatever alternate accommodations are available."

"Nonsense, I insist. I've slept on worse; it is no bother."

'_As have I, but…'_ Loki relented, feeling she had lost the battle of propriety. Sophia showed her which bed was hers and quickly changed the pillowcase before bidding Loki 'good night' and closing the bedroom door. With a sigh, Loki slipped onto the lumpy mattress and sat up for a while yet, attempting to reconcile the recent events of her life. The face of Thanos, Thor's despair, her dealings with the Avengers, and the loss of the Realm Eternal. What had become of the titan and his schemes? Did Heimdall live, and could he conjure Loki home once she recovered her magic and strength? Where was Thor now, and were their people safe?

Loki paused. _Their_ people? No, she was right: theirs. The people of Asgard were as much her subjects as Thor's, even now.

Exhaustion muddled her thoughts, and she finally relented. She slid fully beneath the moth-eaten blankets and allowed her eyes to close, desperately trying to recall the warm smile of her mother, which always eased her enough to rest.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki woke to the playful cries of girls outside. From the sounds of it, they were riling the hound, Angel, into a frenzy, for she was barking with abandon. She sat up slowly, painfully, and laid a hand across her eyes. The inability to find a comfortable position meant her sleep was not restful and her body ached, so she was already irritated with the world in general. Her stomach was at odds with her intention to remain hidden in the room a while longer, however. Reluctantly, Loki climbed to her feet, pulled the garment Sophia lent her the night before around her shoulders, and followed the smell of cooking meat and toasting bread into the living area of the cabin.

The man called Tim was weaving through the kitchen space with Sophia, each focused on their tasks. Loki watched them dance, yawning as she continued to wake herself. Plates on the counter quickly filled with piles of eggs, meats, and toast. Sliced fruit filled a large bowl, and a kettle on the stove began screaming for attention. This was the awaited signal. A moment later, the girls all filed inside and took their places at the large, wood table.

"Nope, it's okay!" Tim heckled playfully. "No one ask if they can help, I'm just a one-man army over here!"

The girls at the table apologized in chorus and leaped to assist in setting the table. Sophia did not bother correcting Tim's statement, and laughed to herself as she prepared the coffee and tea. Finally, someone took notice of their lurking guest and waved Loki over to an empty seat. She claimed a chair at the end of the table, desiring her own space as far from the boisterous young ones as possible.

Sophia and Tim finally sat down to join the rest. They passed the plates of food around for portioning, and Sophia ensured everyone had a beverage. What followed could only be called a production, and Loki watched from over the rim of her cup of tea. While Sophia sat at the other end of the table as the quiet arbitrator, the rest of the family, minus the aunt, chatted excitedly, needled, heckled, and argued playfully. A soft pain formed in Loki's chest, and she recognized it as nostalgia. For a breath, she missed her brother and hardly noticed the slight curl of her lip.

* * *

Lani was smiling as she watched my nieces and cousin in their usual routine. I felt a pinch of embarrassment at their behavior in front of a guest, but I'd grown more lenient of such things in recent years. Since what we called "The Snap," the societal constructs seemed less important than making do and staying close.

"Girls, you're on dish duty," I declared once everyone finished eating. Unlike in previous years, they did not argue. With the table quiet, I caught Lani's gaze. "How do you feel this morning, Lani? Any better?"

The woman blinked from her daze and offered a polite smile. "Indeed, I am well rested."

I nodded, pleased to hear it, but Lani's tone was not one open to further conversation. I help put away the leftover food, and once their chores were complete, the girls scampered off with Tim. In the calm and quiet, I fetched the first aid kit again, insisting on checking Lani's wounds. It was also a chance to press her.

"Have you given any thought to what you would like to do?" I asked as she settled into her new seat and yielded to my treatment.

"I have," Lani smiled for a moment, hesitant, "however, I fear I may appear overbearing."

I chuckled. "We won't know until you share your thoughts."

She nodded. "In that case… I overheard your nieces talking about returning to the city. How long do you plan to remain here?"

"Another day or two. Usually, we don't stay for more than a week. We've been here about that long already."

"I see. When you do leave, would it be a burden were I to accompany you?"

"I had expected as much, actually. Back in the city, you should have a better chance of making your way home, wherever that is." I again gathered the medical leavings. "I thought those cuts were deeper, but they've already scabbed over rather well. You must be a fast healer."

A sadness touched Lani's delicate features despite her pleasant expression, and I suddenly felt awkward, if not a bit guilty for reminding her of something painful. I tried to swallow it down with my coffee.

"Here, let's find you something other than pajamas to wear…"

* * *

_'You must bear this. It is only a few days more,' _Loki told herself each time her irritation flared. While Sophia left her to her own thoughts, the young girls were not so magnanimous. They questioned her about the bruises around her neck and pressed her for details of her home and family, romantic interests, and mode of employment. She danced around the questions with ease, turning the girls on each other instead. Once, she spotted a bedraggled woman with stringy blonde hair emerge from a side room, claim something from a cupboard, then return to the room without a word. Her face had been tear-stained, her eyes red. Loki suspected she was the aunt Sophia mentioned.

Gradually, Loki gathered major details of the state of the world from snippets of conversation.

Six years had passed. Thanos was dead. The Avengers were active, but their roster had changed. The mortal governments had tenuously stabilized. No one had heard from nor seen Thor in half a decade. Sophia suspected it was due to chaos in the other "worlds" coupled with the pain of the death of his brother, Loki, and took his absence as a better sign than his presence.

_"If someone like that feels the need to show their face, it probably means trouble is on its way to Earth again, and I don't think we could survive the attention of another god or something like Thanos now," _she'd said with a bitter laugh. Loki mimicked her and felt the rapport between them strengthen, exactly as she hoped.

By the time the family had packed into their vehicles to leave for the city, she was confident Sophia thought of her as a friend. Sophia and her family bade each other tearful farewells and began the long separate drives home. Sophia had only Loki for company, as she lived apart from her family even now. To her pleasure, Loki found Sophia was conversational, but not talkative, and the frequent silences held no awkwardness. They stopped only twice to stretch and acquire "food," and Loki took the opportunity to catch up on the rest she had lost at the cabin.

* * *

Lani resembled something from a fairy tale as she slept in my passenger seat. I did my best to ensure the drive was smooth so as not to wake her. It was midnight by the time she woke fully from her catnaps, and I pulled into a gas station with a yawn. Fueled, stretched, and with coffee in hand, I returned to the road for the final leg.

"We should return to Seattle by 4," I mentioned, sipping my liquid attention, "most places don't open until around 10, so you can stay at my place until then if you'd like."

Lani blew on her own cup of coffee to cool it. "I will consider your offer, thank you. Might there be a light I could use for reading?"

"There should be a book light in the door." It was then that I noticed Lani had swiped one of the few free local papers that had managed to stay in print. "Let me know if you read anything interesting," I chuckled. Lani hummed that she would and settled in with the palm-sized battery light. It was not long until she spoke again.

"What is this 'Snap Day'?"

I nearly breathed my coffee and managed to not spurt it all over my dashboard. Lani blinked at me as I cleared my windpipe, eyes watering. "You don't...? I mean, everyone..." I stammered in disbelief, but the look in those green eyes stole my ability to be condescending. "It's... it's the anniversary of the battle with Thanos when everyone disappeared. Do they not have that in your city?"

Lani fixed her eyes on the expanse of blackness beyond my headlights, her voice small. "It is not a public event. We each mourn for our own."

"I see." It was different from what we did in my hometown, but everyone handled their losses in their own way. Who was I to judge? The first uncomfortable silence fell. Lani returned to her paper, sipping the coffee. I almost laughed at her grimace.

"Not the best there is, I know," I said apologetically. Lani gave a thin-lipped smile as if to say it wasn't my fault.

"I see there is a memorial specifically for the Avengers."

I nodded. "I think that's pretty common in places that have public events for Snap Day."

"They've included an obituary list as well…" Lani's voice trailed off.

* * *

Loki was distantly aware of Sophia saying her new name, but her eyes remained fixed on the list of Avenger's and their allies lost those years ago. Toward the top, just above "Peter Parker, The Spider-Man" and below "Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier" read "Loki Odinson of Asgard, Brother of Thor". She read it repeatedly but could scarcely believe her own eyes.

"Lani? What is it?" Sophia asked with increasing concern.

"Why?" Loki asked rhetorically.

"'Why' what?"

"Why is Loki of Asgard included on the Avenger's list?"

"Probably because he was Thor's brother?" she offered. "Maybe it was just easier, who knows."

Torn between gloating and incomprehension, Loki settled for furrowing her brow. "Was not New York still fresh in their minds when this list was composed? Why include the man responsible?"

Loki felt the atmosphere shift, and Sophia went quiet for a long moment. When she spoke, she did so carefully.

"I know most people still hate Loki for New York, but some do feel it is only right to recognize his sacrifice in the fight against Thanos along with all the rest. Thor and the others felt the same, I think, and that's probably why they told the public anything at all."

Loki was curious and chose to test this woman. "...And yourself?"

"Me?"

Loki's voice was the bitter edge of a knife. "What is your opinion, Sophia? Do you think this _monster_ should be included in the memorial of heroes?"

Sophia's fingers slowly gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles went white, her eyes growing hard and distant. Clearly, this was not a new point of conversation for her. When she spoke, her voice was low and thick with conviction.

"Loki was a bastard for what he did, I will concede to that, but everyone should have a chance to redeem themselves. He did not get that; or rather, the Thanos fight _was_ his opportunity. For whatever reason, Loki chose to risk, and relinquish, his own life for a chance that the universe might be saved. You don't have to like him to recognize that much, at least, even if in the end it was for nothing. He at least tried." She flicked her eyes over at Loki for a moment, unwavering. "...So, yes, his name well belongs on that list." She smiled gently, speaking kindly. "Perhaps, let's talk about something else, yeah?"

Loki was quiet as she registered Sophia's words, unsure of her own feelings on the matter. _'Mortals are so strange_.'


	4. Chapter 4

Loki and Sophia arrived at her modest home around the time she estimated. Inside, Loki noted her small personal library, and Sophia allowed her to choose a book and settle on the back porch while she unpacked her car. Sophia joined Loki when she was finished, bringing a piece of Midgardian technology she called a "laptop," and together they watched the sunrise. A couple of hours later, Loki rose to stretch, and Sophia took the chance to show her the notes she had been taking.

"These should give you a good start," Sophia told her, and Loki examined the list of numbers and names, resource information for the wayward woman. "Women's houses, transportation, COMF, it's all there."

"COMF?"

"Coalition for Missing Families" Loki gave her a droll look and Sophia raised her hands helplessly. "I don't make these things, don't look at me. Still, they're probably your best bet in finding your family or anyone else you need to get in contact with. I can drive you around today if you need, but I have to go back to work tomorrow…"

Loki understood the unspoken _"so you'll be on your own"_ Sophia was too polite to say. "I am certain today is all I will need."

A couple of hours more and they were both showered, dressed, and out the door. Other people were about as well, though not as many as Loki expected. The population had not yet recovered from The Snap well enough to fill what was empty; as such, the city felt deflated, like a child wearing a parent's coat. _'I_ was under the impression mortals reproduced faster than this,' __she thought with bemusement as she watched the boarded windows and sun-bleached "closed" signs slide past.

Loki followed Sophia's lead as she took them around the city, and by the fourth stop at an office, Loki had tired of the whole charade. _'Bear it a little longer, God of Mischief, you've suffered worse,' _she told herself repeatedly over lunch. As was becoming habit, Sophia spared her a reassuring smile when she sensed what she perceived was Loki's anxiety. She returned the woman's expression. _'At least the company is tolerable, and easily fooled.'_

* * *

Lani was hiding something, I was sure. It was not anything in particular, she said or did, just a gut feeling I had at the cabin that was now more tangible. On one hand, I wanted to allow her the obscurity she clearly desired, but on the other hand, it wasn't getting either of us any closer to finding somewhere for her to stay in the long-term. By the time we returned to my house, I was wrestling with the idea that I might have tripped myself into a roommate. The thought made me grimace. I had nothing against Lani personally, per se, but I had my home and life ordered and scheduled exactly as needed, and I despised anything that disrupted that. Besides, she was clearly from the upper class; how could my quality of life match up?

I was too tired to languish. After dinner, Lani settled in again with her chosen book and I prepared my infrequently used guest room that doubled as a home office. The bed was simple but would suffice for now, and Lani appeared grateful for whatever I had to offer.

"I'll be gone until mid-afternoon tomorrow. I'll leave the spare key on the kitchen counter. If you need to leave, all I ask is that you lock the door behind you. I've set a few outfits and shoes in the closet as well." Lani nodded to me in that almost dismissive way that was her own and I gave her a half-smile. "I do hope you're able to find something tomorrow." The look in those green eyes said she understood my meaning. There was nothing else to say. I set my alarm, buried under my covers, and tried to sleep.

My phone screeched at me far too soon. I checked the time through bleary eyes and found it was, unfortunately, time to get up. Muscle memory and habit swept me through my morning routine with relative ease. I listened at the guest room door for a moment before leaving and found Lani was still asleep. _'Good_, I didn't wake her._'_ A short drive across town to my office later and I was fisting my hands in my hair with frustration as I listened to the morning teleconference.

Mine was a technology contracting company that had merged with Stark Industries just after The Snap to stay afloat. As was usual, the parent company treated my team and me as if we were second-rate add-ons until we converted to Stark. I had been on-boarded not that long ago, and now I had to listen to their program manager condescend to my former co-workers who were still with the original company. I had already tried speaking up about it, but my boss quickly put me in place. If I wanted to keep my job, I would keep my head down. I tried to explain it to my former team, worked to pull them up to equal footing and recognition, but I knew they still resented me and others like me for our silence. _'Such is the life of contract work, government or no.'_

A new project was rolling out to continue repairs to the communications infrastructure in one of the major office buildings downtown, and my blended Stark-Contractor team were the ones assigned. That meant I would be on-call for the near future. The end of the day couldn't come soon enough, and I was out of the office before the boss even realized I had logged off the company messenger application. Idling at a light, I took a moment to glower at the work computer in my passenger seat. The job was more than worth it; after all, it allowed me to maintain my house and send money to my family, but sometimes I really hated it.

Home, I kicked off my shoes, plopped the laptop bag on the kitchen table, and glanced over the menus I had stuck to the refrigerator. I didn't feel like cooking tonight. Only two or three places still attempted the delivery shtick, so there wasn't much to choose from. _'I should probably ask Lani what she wants before I decide, though.' _A quick tour of my home revealed she was not there, and I felt a twinge of disappointment, but it didn't last for long. She returned soon after I sat down with the sandwich shop menu to decide what I wanted. She looked worn; a manila folder tucked under her arm. I spared her a friendly expression.

"Welcome back. Any luck?"

"Unfortunately, no," she sighed, removing her shoes at the doorway per my request. "I do not think progress will come as soon as you would like."

I hummed. "Let's figure out dinner first."

We ordered our food and I glanced through the paperwork Lani brought home as we waited for it to arrive. There were no leads on any of her family or friends, no employment openings for her skill set, though there were a few places she could go while she trained for something new, and she had circled a couple workshops of interest. It wasn't much, but it was a plan. _'_Another week, perhaps two. I can handle having a guest for that long.'__

* * *

Loki spent most of the first morning on her own walking the city streets, seeing what there was to see and listening in on conversations. Somehow, she managed to keep the disgust she felt from showing on her face. _'The slums of Asgard were cleaner and of a higher-class than this place…' _she thought haughtily, and she took it as another good sign of her recovery. She ran her fingers together, feeling for a sign that any of her magic had returned and found none. _'I assume it spent itself to preserve and deliver me here, and I drained the last to help change my form. I have only been awake for a few days; surely it will return soon.__'_ She needed to believe this. The thought of remaining as little better than a mortal in this place for the rest of her long years turned her stomach.

Eventually, she visited the offices Sophia had taken her to the day before in a lackluster attempt to find something of use. As far as Loki was concerned, however, she would not stay in this city long enough for any of these efforts to matter. The day after and the next, she did the same. She knew she was trying Sophia's patience by delaying, but her wits were still dull from her revival. In fact, she felt almost amnesic. This in addition to her knowing little about modern Midgard left her uncharacteristically aimless.

_'What do I do with myself while I recover from this dazed state? Perhaps I can convince this woman, Sophia, to maintain me, and once I am sharp I can… I can…'_ Loki pressed a hand to her temple as ideas remained unintelligible whispers at the edge of her mind. _'I cannot think. Why can I not form a single thought beyond my immediate needs?'_

She found herself at the library somehow, skimming idly through old magazines and brochures. It felt abandoned, and the lone librarian left Loki to herself. As she flipped through pages, one of the images sparked a glorious idea: Norway. Of course! It made too much sense, and she scolded herself for not having considered it sooner._ _'Odin called it "home" that day; there must have been a reason. Perhaps there I can find a way to restore my power, a way to escape this forsaken rock.'__

It was so simple. Loki frowned, suddenly apprehensive. Simple, yes; but how would she get there?


	5. Chapter 5

Loki researched all she could without alerting Sophia. Unlike most mortals, there was a knowing in her eyes that was beginning to make Loki feel exposed, and there were moments where she could swear Sophia was looking to her very soul. It put the Jotun on edge in a way she hadn't experienced with a human. _'The sooner I find a way home, the better. I've no desire to be scrutinized by a mortal woman.' _Loki thought stubbornly, _'And yet.'_

Sophia's attentions were less disconcerting than the persistent memory of the titan's hand crushing her throat. Loki felt it each time the deep bruises twinged like a ghostly memory from what had been just over a week prior. Stranded on Midgard, Sophia was a known factor to Loki at least, and something known was comforting right now. _'As for Norway... ' _

If Loki learned anything in her many years, it was that if something appeared unexpectedly easy then chances were it would be anything but. To her chagrin, the adage held true. What she discovered she would need was beyond her understanding of the mortal world. Without her magic, she was dependent upon and constrained by its workings. She would need Sophia's guidance until she learned enough to act on her own. With this concession, Loki carefully planned how she would approach the topic with Sophia over dinner that evening. All went exactly as planned.

"You will need a job before anything else, Lani…" Sophia pointed out, attempting to temper Loki's expectations.

"I am well aware the trip will require a significant amount of funds, and I do plan on finding employment." Loki ran a hand along her arm, feigning anxiety. "Unfortunately, the fact is that…"

Sophia made the presumption Loki hoped. "…You've…never actually had to work before, have you?"

Loki pursed her lips as though attempting to preserve her dignity in the face of failure.

Sophia laughed. "That… That explains so much!" She shook her head. "Your family has to be Stark-levels of rich, for you to be so sheltered." She laughed again even as Loki grimaced. Then, her voice went sober as she came to a realization. "…But that's just it, isn't it? You're hiding from them."

Loki straightened her shoulders, still refusing to answer.

"That's why you want to go to Norway," she ventured. "Not because your family is there, but because they are not; you're running away."

Loki snapped a glower at Sophia and hissed. "I am _not_ running away!"

Sophia narrowed those discerning eyes at her in turn. "Then what is it?"

Loki bit her lip, realizing her shallow game had turned on her, but she had not lost just yet. "It is…that I cannot face them. Not right now; not yet."

Sophia leaned back in her chair and sighed. "Whatever happened, whatever you did; they're still your family. They deserve to know you are alive at the very least."

"If they knew, they would stop at nothing to track me down."

Loki watched contemplation settle across Sophia's features. She was silent long enough that the green-eyed woman returned to her dinner. Finally, she spoke again, her voice low and heavy with an authority Loki had not heard from her before.

"Lani, who are you really?"

Loki swallowed the bit of vegetable but did not look at Sophia. "For your sake, I cannot and will not say. Please, trust me."

The woman across the table canted her head at Loki, still considering. Another long silence passed before she straightened and picked up her fork again.

"So… Norway, huh?"

Loki offered her a relieved smile. _'Perfect.'_

* * *

I knew it; I'd known it since the cabin: Lani was hiding something. From the sounds of it, it wasn't something as simple as a family squabble or a misdemeanor charge. My mind rolled through the possibilities ranging from extortion to felonies to drugs to murder. If any of those were the case, could I bear to have her in my home? Was now the prudent time to ask her to leave? I was half-way to considering her my roommate as was, but that conversation left me indecisive.

After dinner, we settled in the living room. Lani on the couch with a book and legs folded neatly, and myself caddy corner on a chair with my laptop. I stared at the screen, scrolling through an article without taking in the words and glancing at her now and again. _'She even looks like some kind of royalty. Surely there is someone in her circle of influence she can turn to; she doesn't have to stay here,' _I thought.

I scrolled back to the top of the article to try and read it again. Formless thoughts kept my attention, however, and my gaze followed as Lani tucked a bookmark into the pages, bade 'good night', and disappeared into the guest room. She seemed so delicate and vulnerable. What weight did those pale shoulders carry? Was it her own doing or the fault of others?

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn't force her out of my home, not now. How could I pluck her from the maw of the wilds, comfort, and care for her, then turn around and drop her on the roadside? _'Damnit.' _I closed my laptop and slipped into a bath, hoping it would ease my mind. _'Stupid conscience, making me do stupid things that are just going to leave me strung out and hurt again.' _

I snagged my phone from the stool I kept beside the tub and opened a new browser tab. It was just morbid curiosity. _'Let's see here… "Lani name etymology". What does your name mean, Lani; where are you from? … Hawaiian, meaning "sky" or "royalty"; but she doesn't look Hawaiian. What else, what else…'_ But there was nothing; just the reference to Hawaii. I chuckled. _'Probably another diversion from her true identity. Still, it kind of fits.' _

The agreement was simple. I would assist Lani in finding a job that didn't require much, if any, paperwork to pay her. New identities were beyond expensive, and this way her family could not track her. In return, she would see to the mundane chores I often had to put off until the weekend due to fatigue. Lani scrunched her face in response at first, but I made it clear that if she was going to stay, she would contribute.

"Once you're working, you can choose to continue the chores or pay rent. It'll be your call, but every dollar you give me is a dollar that doesn't go toward your travel funds."

Lani pursed her lips in that entitled way again and curtly agreed. I couldn't help but find it cute and withheld a chuckle. It was official now: I had a roommate again.

The first thing I did was take Lani shopping for her own wardrobe. While we were close enough in stature, her body shape was just different enough that my clothes didn't fit her quite right. I was quickly reminded of her upper-class taste when she angled for one of the stores that would have had active guards back in the day. I gagged on the overwhelming mix of exotic perfumes and colognes as I followed her. Only my sense of etiquette kept me from covering my nose. Amusingly, Lani seemed to have the same response to the smell, the corners of her lips curling downward as she quickly strode through the invisible cloud. Either due to the smell or the clothes, we didn't stay long.

The next few stores were the same, and soon we had to move to a different shopping strip. Lani seemed bored, almost bewildered by the fashions offered, and I could only laugh.

She smirked from the passenger seat. "And what, pray tell, do you find so amusing, Sophia?"

"Watching you shop makes me realize what my mother had to go through with me, that's all."

Finally, we found a store that had something agreeable. Lani was still dissatisfied but decided this was the best she would find. We loaded the haul into my backseat and headed home, drained. I helped her clip tags and hang her new wardrobe, finally registering what she had chosen. I gave her a bemused look.

"You do realize there are other colors?" _'Oh my god, I sound like mom…' _

Lani straightened, seeming almost insulted. "What's wrong with green and black?"

"Won't you grow tired of wearing the same colors every single day?"

Lani poked through her closet and pulled the sleeve of a pale gold blazer for me to see, as though it disproved my point.

"Oh, yes! Of course, how could I miss that?" I laughed, sarcastic. "Three whole colors, much more acceptable."

Lani's expression was unreadable for a moment, and I panicked, thinking I had offended her; but then her lips curled and those green eyes glinted mischievously. "Shall I judge your wardrobe next? I wonder, exactly how many shades of black and blue can one own?"

I blinked, not used to having my jokes thrown back at me. Things were tense for a breath. Then, as if on cue, we both began to laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

Within the first week of choosing to live with Sophia, Loki decided several things would have to change. Sophia's habit of keeping subpar food chilled for days on end was only the first. The smell and texture of the re-heated foodstuffs made Loki nauseous, if one could consider what sat in the clear containers to be food…

"It's that or you can cook." Sophia shrugged as she mixed spices into her own portion of what she called "macaroni and cheese."

Loki eased the plastic container away from herself and decided it would be the latter. She had been forced to cook for herself many a time after she left Asgard and found the activity enjoyable. Determined, she rose to examine what Sophia kept in her cold box and dry pantry. Bread, cold butter, eggs, pork, a few fruits too close to spoiled to matter, and other various minor ingredients. Loki frowned slightly.

"Where is your fish kept?"

"There are cans of tuna in the cupboard next to the chicken."

Confused, Loki searched for and drew down a thick metal disc with what looked to be a drawing of a fish on its side. She did not understand how this could hold food until Sophia employed a hand-held contraption to remove the top layer. Inside was a sloshing mass of shredded something Loki could not identify. Was this supposed to be meat? The smell was less than appealing, and Loki scrunched her nose as she stepped away.

"Sorry, princess," Sophia teased, "it's the best you're going to get here."

Loki allowed the titling to pass. "Is there no way to obtain fresh fish in this city?"

Sophia shrugged. "They have fish at the store, but I wouldn't call it fresh."

_'It_ must be better than whatever that is,' __Loki thought as she watched her living companion drain and scrape the contents of the can onto a slice of bread. _'She can't honestly mean to-!'_

"You aren't actually going to eat…_that," Loki waved her hand at the abomination, "_are you?"

"Um...yes?" Sophia smirked apologetically. "It's open now, so…"

Loki's eyes widened with horror, and she excused herself before Sophia could take the first bite.

* * *

_'I know she's been pampered, but seriously, not even canned meat?' _The expression on Lani's face remained for the rest of the evening. At her request, I made a stop by the grocery store the following day for a serving of "fresh" salmon and a few other things to go with it.

"I'm home," I called, kicking off my shoes and dropping my laptop off in its customary spot. She appeared as I was tucking the groceries away, and she watched from the edge of the kitchen area. "Here," I set the plastic-wrapped pink meat on the counter near her. She eyed it curiously. "Salmon, from the store."

Lani smirked triumphantly and began unwrapping it. One whiff was enough to scrunch her face again, as I expected, and I chuckled. "See?"

Her lips drew into a line as she wrapped the meat up again. "I will concede, it is not fresh as I would prefer, but I dare say it is better than whatever was in that container you showed me yesterday."

I shrugged. "I wouldn't get used to it, better, or no. Fish is still more expensive than it used to be."

"Why not simply catch it yourself?" she asked, as though speaking to an ignorant child. "It seems so odious to depend on someone else only to be given something that is near spoiled."

I resisted the urge to sneer at her simplistic entitlement. "We aren't near anywhere that has fish worth eating, for one. For two, even if we were, I don't have a fishing permit for this area, only for the lake near the cabin."

Lani's eyes lit up. "Will you be returning there soon?"

"We only go once a year, I'm afraid." The disappointment on her face panged in my chest. "…But I think I have some time off coming up, and it'll be fishing season in a few months. I'll have to clear it with Aunt Emily. Technically, the cabin is hers since Uncle…"

The memory of watching my uncle disintegrate in Emily's arms stole my voice, and my eyes slowly dropped to the floor.

Lani took a tentative step toward me. The tips of her long, dark hair caught my attention as she dipped a bit to meet my eyes. For the first time, she offered a kind, reassuring smile. "I think it would be a worthwhile venture. Without your nieces to corral, you could finally relax and enjoy being away from the city."

I wondered for a moment why I was considering bringing this woman whom I barely called "friend" to my _family's cabin, _in the off-season, no less. _'Because I have no friends, and I actually could a break from any and all responsibility relating to work and family,_' I thought to myself. I ran the idea through the usual checks of feasibility and expense-versus-return. I couldn't deny the appeal of fresh-caught trout, and I did so love the cabin… I relented.

"I'll call Aunt Emily tomorrow. It's too late today." Lani grinned, and then I followed her gaze to the salmon still sitting on the counter. "So, how do we want to cook this?"

Lani took a step back as though the naked slabs of dead fish would bite her. "I am _not _eating that."

"It's that or the can," I taunted.

After a moment, Lani sighed. "Fine," she smirked at me, "but I do not trust your ability to prepare it correctly. I suppose I will have to."

Flabbergasted, I stepped out of the way as Lani strode boldly into the kitchen and began searching through the various cupboards. "I…I don't know if I'm insulted or not."

"You can decide after dinner."

Lani glanced over her elegantly swept shoulder, those green eyes meeting mine and melting me with a simple smile. My heart fluttered.

"I look forward to it."

I had no work to finish at home tonight, so I kept just outside the kitchen and watched her cook, curious. I had to remind her about the exhaust fan, but otherwise she was well practiced. While that surprised me, her grace as she danced between the ingredients did not, and dinner was indeed enjoyable. She was quite pleased with herself as she set the table, and watched expectantly as I tried a bit of everything on my plate. The rest was fine, but I did not have the heart to tell Lani she had used too much lemon juice on the salmon. I took a sip of water to dilute the taste.

"It has a good sear," I commented.

Lani beamed, almost haughty, and I braced as she took a bite of her own serving. The smile faded and she grimaced.

"Too much lemon," she said quietly after a tense moment.

"Too much lemon," I agreed.

* * *

The months trickled by faster than Loki could notice they had passed. The mundane routine of this temporary life bored her to no end, and its only reprieve was her companion. Loki realized that fortune must have had a hand in Sophia's finding her. The mortals Loki was forced to interact with to earn her funds were deplorable, loud, ignorant, uncultured, and filthy. Sophia, however, was different. Her pulse did not match that of mortal society; it beat at its own rhythm and in its own fashion. She saw it in the way Sophia treated Loki and interacted with the world at large, always kind and polite, mindful and adaptive. While the menials reacted instinctively, Sophia acted with intention.

Most notable, she defended Loki.

Ever-polite Sophia exampled the strength of their growing friendship one afternoon as they enjoyed a relaxing trip to the nearby mall. While most of the shops were closed, enough remained open to warrant the time spent. One of these shops was an ice cream stand, and Loki found she did not enjoy the taste of sugar so much as the people in this country.

Sophia offered a trade; vanilla for chocolate. "It isn't as sweet. You might like it better."

And she did. While there was not much flavor to this chocolate treat, it was more palatable than the vanilla. Cones in hand, they browsed the extravagant window displays meant to draw as many of the few customers there as possible, and Loki listened as Sophia pointed out which stores used to be where and what she missed in their absence. She was pining over a particular shop when the woman came around the corner. Had she been paying attention, she would have side-stepped, but instead she walked directly into Loki, crushing the iced treat between them. Sophia turned at once to Loki.

"Are you alright?" She set a steadying hand on Loki's shoulder and eyed the splotch of ice cream smeared across her chest. "Oh no, we need to rinse that now or it's going to stain…"

The offending woman balked. "And what about me? Huh?! Are you going to apologize?! You need to watch where you're going!"

Her sense of false entitlement minorly irritated the goddess, but to her surprise, it set Sophia off.

"Her pay attention?" Her tone was polite despite her words. "You're the one that came barreling around the corner without a care. If anything, you should apologize to her."

The other woman scoffed and held the section of her own soiled shirt. "Do you have any idea how much it's going to cost to get this out!?"

Sophia canted her head, eyes flicking around the woman. "I suspect as much as a book on etiquette plus whatever those" she motioned dismissively at the woman's shoes, "cost you. I can understand wanting to be taller, but did you really think open-toe and straps at all complemented those gangly feet of yours? I would suggest boots next time."

Loki was as taken aback as the offending woman, who stomped off, grumbling and whining. A smile slowly crept across her lips as she regarded her companion anew. Sophia simply shrugged.

"She should have been paying attention," she justified before sweeping Loki to the bathroom to salvage her blouse.

Loki could only laugh. Was this a deeper part of Sophia she was seeing now? Or had Loki's personality influenced her? An incident some two weeks later proved it was the former. Loki had been keenly aware of the wandering male gazes whenever she and Sophia were on an outing, and tonight was no different. Loki had ignored them until now, since words and glances did little harm. The hand on her shoulder meant to halt her, however, held much potential for harm; and Sophia saw it, too.

Loki shrugged out of the man's grasp and stepped away. "I've told you once: I have no interest. Good evening."

She turned to resume her stroll with her companion, heard half a word fall from the man's lips, then saw Sophia blur from the corner of her eye. When she turned again, Loki found Sophia had the man's hand twisted painfully at the wrist, yet she remained calm and focused.

"The lady said 'no'; that means you should be on your way…" Sophia hissed.

The man nursed his injured wrist once he was released, snitting something about "arrogant ugly bitches". Loki questioned her friend with a glance.

"Some men don't know how to take 'no' for an answer…" was all Sophia offered before ushering them on their way.

Loki could only purse her lips. _'Perhaps yet another lesson the people of Midgard did not accept when Odin was god here… On Asgard, such a person would be made known and punished.'_

Neither incident would be the last of their kind. As before, Sophia was always at Loki's side, defending her or scolding her had she been the one in the wrong. Even when Loki argued, Sophia did not falter, speaking and acting in the best interest of them both. Loki had formed no friendships after Hogun, Fandral, and Sif, so what was developing between Sophia and herself was surprising. The mortal's humor, her perceptions and opinions, they aligned significantly with Loki's, and she could not resist their growing rapport. Were this any other circumstance, had she met Sophia perhaps on Asgard, Loki would freely consider calling her "friend" with sincerity.

_'Can_ I not now call her 'friend'?' __Loki considered as she assisted Sophia. They were constructing the frame of Loki's new bed and moving the office items into Sophia's own room. '_Is this not the same way Hogun and the others behaved with me before the incident on Jotunheim? No…' she told herself. 'Perhaps it is similar, but this is only to ease the burden of close quarters. It is as simple as that and nothing more.' _The goddess almost frowned at Sophia. _'Isn't_ it?'__

While time had not passed enough to convince Loki herself, she understood that it was more meaningful to these ephemeral creatures, and that what Sophia did was significant in her reality. Still, doubt crept into Loki's mind, and her thoughts plagued her as she noted everything her companion did on her behalf. When Sophia worked from home, she would make coffee and breakfast for the both, and she continued to tinker with the brewing process in an attempt to find a method that produced something Loki agreed with. She ensured the dinner ingredients were ready for Loki each day, always thanked her for the chores she did around the house, and even bought a new set of shelves to fit the extra books Loki wanted. If the goddess mentioned offhandedly that something displeased her, she soon found the issue rectified without pomp or circumstance.

_'This is all far more than easing co-habitation, yet I cannot see her profit in any of it. I am here only by a temporary arrangement, so why? Why put upon herself without need or request? '_

One evening, Loki noted that their seating arrangement during their evening ritual felt wrong somehow. Try as she might, she could not pinpoint the cause, but knew the solution. She closed her book for a moment as Sophia made to settle in her chair and gave her a kind smile.

"There is an entire half of couch open, you know," Loki said.

The other woman paused and blinked, standing back up. "Oh. I just... I thought you would want the room, since you're nearly as tall as I am. I know how it is, having such long legs."

"I am quite comfortable myself," Loki said, tucking her legs a bit closer, and Sophia accepted the invitation.

She settled on the opposite end of the couch, laptop on her knees. She reconfirmed with Loki several times that this arrangement was agreeable. Loki was not lying or twisting the truth, either, having Sophia nearer was indeed comfortable.

Sophia's near pampering continued. Loki's room was soon trimmed as near to her former princely quarters as she could manage on Earth, her wardrobe extensive and refined, and Sophia went so far as to alter her working hours to drive Loki to work in the morning. One day, it became too much to bear. Loki had to know.

Seated on the couch for their evening ritual, she closed her book and glanced to the opposite end of the couch where Sophia was settling.

"Sophia, might I ask you something?" Loki asked quietly.

"Of course, but I can't promise I will have an answer." Sophia glanced over.

"Why are you doing all of this?"

Sophia tensed slightly. "What do you mean?"

"The furniture, the clothes, the schedule; you seem to be attempting to install me in a permanent fashion, despite being aware of my impending departure. Also, you have a habit of addressing issues most friends would not care to bother with. Why?"

"I don't see a reason why you can't be comfortable while you're here," Sophia shrugged.

"At what expense?"

Sophia chuckled. "I'll spend my money how I please, thank you." She paused, and then turned to Loki, uncertain. "Or are you mentioning it because it makes you uncomfortable?"

Loki fixed her attention to a spot on the wall. "Not exactly."

"…Lani, when I decided to let you stay, I knew it wouldn't be a permanent thing, but I don't see that as a reason to treat you like a guest the whole time. This is your home, too, now, for however long you want to stay." Her voice dropped, betraying her vulnerability. "Besides, you know I don't exactly have a lot of friends, and we seem to get along well. Why not just enjoy it while it lasts?"

A heavy silence fell between them, Loki working through her words and Sophia fidgeting with her device. Eventually, she closed it and set it aside, bidding Loki 'good night' with a nervous smile before disappearing.

Loki propped her arm on the side of the couch and rested her temple against her knuckles. She was momentarily suspicious of Sophia's intentions, despite them being pure for all she could tell from the very beginning. How else could Loki explain why Sophia went out of her way to support Loki and her plans? What other drive was their behind her apparent allegiance? Mortals had not the tenacity and vigor required to deceive the Goddess of Mischief, most especially when she was in such close proximity and for so long. Loki had seen Sophia confuse and mislead others, had even taught her a few new methods, but it was a behavior Loki had come to recognize in the other woman, and she had never observed it being used on herself.

Loki sighed, realizing she was putting too much thought into it and seeing things that were not there. It was her self-preserving paranoia… She simply had to accept that Sophia, the simple human that she was, genuinely enjoyed her company and…

No, Loki realized that Sophia did indeed have motive behind it all: she wanted Loki to be happy. The realization turned her blood to ice and knotted in her stomach. It was simultaneously incomprehensible and frightening. Why did the thought mean so much to her?

Loki rubbed at her eyes, wishing she could call to Heimdall to bring her home so she could be done with all this. She preferred her brother's inevitably overbearing reaction to discovering she was still alive to the sensations coiling in her chest. She what it was: budding sentiment. She was considering Sophia as close a companion as she saw Loki.

She set her book aside and made for her bedroom but paused at Sophia's open door. She was curled on her side halfway under her blankets, the shallow rise and fall of her shoulder conveying the depth of her slumber. Quietly, Loki padded to her bedside, examining more closely this woman that had opened her home and heart to a stranger.

_'It_ will be many months yet until I can afford to escape. Perhaps Sophia has a point; why not simply enjoy this while it lasts? It is but a moment in time. She will soon forget me once I leave, and I her. It will be fine. Until then,' __Loki flattened a crinkle in the edge of Sophia's sheet, _'this_ is home.'__

The following afternoon, Loki chose to lounge in the common area instead of her room, waiting for her friend to return. Precisely on time, Sophia's call came from the front door. Loki rose and made her way over, meeting her with a genuine smile and voice of silk.

"Welcome home, my friend."

Sophia blushed.


	7. Chapter 7

The responding call from Lani became as routine as kicking off my shoes every day I came home. She cooked with the ingredients I brought, determined to ensure such a travesty as canned or reheated foods never occurred again. It was endearing, and I didn't mind, most especially because Lani seemed to enjoy making me try her unique dishes, and what made her happy also made me.

I was especially fond of the sort of fruit soup she made now and then, even as she bemoaned the lack of the fresh berries she preferred to include. I gloated to one of my co-workers every time she made it, mostly because it made them jealous. They had never tried anything like it, but I refused to share. It was something special between friends, and something Lani took particular pride in making. I was unsurprised to discover it was a traditional dish in Finland, Norway, and Sweden. In fact, now that I thought about it, most of the "experimental" dishes she made were Scandinavian. When I pointed that out to Lani, she jokingly feigned ignorance.

"What a coincidence! I had no idea."

"Oh, no, of course not," I jested back. "Is this your way of trying to acclimate your palate, then? Or do you just enjoy using me as your guinea pig for the recipes with pretty pictures?"

She gave me a coy smirk, and it sent pleasant shivers down my spine.

"Well, I _do_ enjoy using you."

I kept my thoughts to myself.

I finagled time off from work during prime fishing season and convinced my aunt to let me spend some time at the family cabin on my own. When I hinted that it had something to do with missing my uncle, she sobbingly agreed. There was some truth to it, so the white lie only left me feeling a touch guilty, and just for a moment.

As the day drew near, I checked off the list of supplies and needed preparations. Lani gladly went with me to ensure I purchased the "proper" replacements for the myriad of worn equipment at the cabin. It was entertaining how she behaved as though she knew best about the most random things, even if it annoyed me now and again.

This time was no different as we walked the aisles together in business casual wear, her in heels, and she arrogantly judged the available stock. I did my best to ignore the various glances from others in jeans and flannel, refusing to let them make me feel out of place even as Lani pursed her lips at what I placed in my basket. She commented how all the contraptions only complicated what was an incredibly simple task that a child could accomplish. This earned us a few offended glowers, and I ushered her quickly away from the camping displays and into the fishing section.

Bait, lines, hooks, rods, and reels, Lani seemed uncharacteristically familiar with most of it, but what truly caught her attention were the nets. To say she was displeased with them as well was an understatement.

"I crafted better than these when I was yea high," she declared as she indicated her waist, and she appeared offended on my behalf. "Do they honestly expect you to give them your hard-earned money for such an eyesore?"

I ignored her second comment. "Hold on, you know how to make fishing nets?"

"Among other things," she chuckled at the growing confusion on my face and gave a sly smile. "I'm a rather deft hand at knots, as well."

I bit my lip to keep from blushing. Was she teasing me on purpose?

As I followed her to the aisle with weaving supplies, I realized I was guilty of presuming too much. Thinking on it, I couldn't remember her indulging in any of the stereotypical "spoiled rich girl" behaviors. She did not wear make-up or fuss about her appearance over-much, she did not whine or complain uselessly, her inclinations were principled but practical, and did not lend to waste. She was an enigma; and I loved it.

I stopped myself right there. '_No. All joking aside, we are friends at most, that's all.'_

I repeated this to myself again and again until it sunk in. Just as it did, there were soft fingers pressing gently against my arm. Lani wore a concerned expression.

"My friend, are you alright?"

My eyes were dry, and I realized I had been staring into space. I gave them a quick rub to re-wet them.

"Of course, sorry, I was just thinking. Do you have everything?"

Lani nodded and we returned home to pack and prep the new gear. Instead of anything else that night, Lani sat with a shuttle and cord weaving away. It took her three days of work, but by the end of them, she had created a sizeable, sturdy, and even net. I didn't bother trying to hide how impressed I was.

"Wow, Lani, I guess you're good for something after all," I teased, fingering the edge.

For a moment, she was aghast. Her expression quickly melted into a broad smirk as she hummed at me. She said nothing else and did not otherwise respond to the comment. It left me with a foreboding. The next morning, I discovered why.

I was allowed, thankfully, to work from home again since my only assignment was to review and approve installation diagrams and supply lists. As I stirred my morning coffee and yawned, I ran through the mental list of tasks for the day. Waiting for the laptop to boot, I took my first sip.

I promptly spat it back into the cup, retching.

'_Wha-? What the hell? What happened to my coffee?!'_

I returned to the kitchen and poured it out before examining each piece of the brewing process. '_Filters are fine, grounds are good, and the percolator doesn't have any build up. Everything was fresh and clean this morning, what could-' _I reached for the sugar bowl and hesitantly tasted a fingertip of it. '_Salt. How did salt get in the sugar dish?'_ I knew the answer already; there was only one other person who could have done it.

"Lani..." I growled; and from her room, I heard the gentle ring of her sleepy laughter. I realized she had been waiting for exactly this. '_If this is how you want to play…' _I thought, already planning my revenge.

* * *

So began their game. Sophia met Loki trick for trick, quickly learning to anticipate what she would not expect as well as how to make Loki doubt what she would do next. While she considered the incidents simple and obvious, the Goddess of Mischief was nevertheless thrilled. They restored a sense of normalcy to her displaced existence, along with an unexpected sense of comradery. Loki had a sufficient understanding of the mortal world now to care for herself, so she could have struck out on her own. It did no harm to remain, though. Besides, Sophia was too much fun.

Time flitted by, the two grew closer, and the fishing season finally arrived. On Sophia's last day of work before her vacation time, she asked Loki to pack what they needed and be ready to leave when she came home. Loki recalled the length of the drive from the cabin months prior.

"Would it not be wiser to sleep before such a long trip?" she asked.

Sophia shrugged. "I usually leave right after work for the yearly trip anyway. I'll stop for an energy drink, if it worries you so; unless you'd like to drive part-way?"

Loki chuckled. "You know I do not drive."

Sophia rolled her eyes. "Ah, right, I forgot."

Once the car was packed, they left. As before, Loki nodded off now and then, experiencing the trip in short clips of progress. Before she knew it, they had arrived. Sophia rubbed vigorously at her eyes to keep herself awake and yawned. Together they unpacked the car into the common area, and Loki helped Sophia in poking around for any uninvited guests. Thankfully, the most they found was a squirrel.

"Good," Sophia sighed. "I wasn't looking forward to having to bag another snake."

"Do you often find snakes when you return?" Loki followed her into the same bedroom they had used before.

"Sometimes, but only if we didn't close everything off properly. The last one we found was a pregnant rattlesnake. I might could see how she saw this as the ideal place to lay her eggs, but we found her another agreeable spot and set her loose."

Sophia pulled the sheets from the linen closet and began dressing the mattresses. Loki recalled how uncomfortable they had been, as well as the room where her aunt had hidden away.

"Is not there another bedroom we could use?" '_With, perhaps, a more comfortable bed.'_

Sophia shook her head. "The master bedroom is for my aunt's discretionary use. Only she and my cousin are allowed in. It was the same with my parents when this was theirs."

Loki hummed that she understood and kept her disappointment to herself. The mattress was as lumpy as Loki remembered, and she again fought to find a comfortable position. While she remained awake for a time listening to the insects' buzz, Sophia was asleep as soon as her head met her pillow. Thankfully, she allowed Loki to sleep for as long as she needed. Once she was awake, however, the vacation began in earnest.

For breakfast, Loki taught Sophia how to fish with a net, since she only knew bait and tackle.

"It is best to be in the water," Loki recommended.

Without hesitation, Sophia removed her shoes and socks and rolled her pants up above the knee as Loki had, following her friend into the chilly river. She was pleased to see Sophia had not the aversions that afflicted most other city-faring mortals Loki encountered. She followed Loki's instruction well and quickly adapted to the new fishing style. The goddess felt a touch of pride as she watched Sophia, her eyes intense as she waited for the right moment to pull in her net. The elation on her face as she presented her catch pleased Loki more than expected. '_But of course, she was successful. I am the one she learned from_.' Having only the one net, they took turns, and together they caught enough to have a small surplus.

For lunch they prepared the fish, salting some to take home, and for dinner Sophia taught Loki how to play a strategic Midgardian board game called "Tak". It was deceptively complex. Loki was a quick learner, however, and Sophia wondered aloud if Loki truly had not played it before. Time and again, Loki left her companion exasperated and grumbling. While she quite enjoyed taunting and teasing Sophia during play, she claimed her victories gracefully. Sophia's skill improved with each round, keeping the game fresh.

Over the following days, they continued to fish and play Tak. They wandered the nearby trails, Sophia expositing on the flora and fauna when Loki asked. They picked and poked through the available nuts and berries to enjoy along the way, and once or twice they swam in the chilly lake.

As enjoyable as this all was, something nibbled at the back of Loki's mind. Until now, she had not realized how slowly she was recovering. She felt more of her strength return, and her mind and reflexes sharpen, but the warmth of seidr eluded her. If it had not returned even a little by now, then Loki suspected it would not at all until she lived in Norway. In the past, however, when she had used all her sorceries, a hollow sensation remained. Try as she might, she could not find that sensation.

'_Perhaps I am simply not at that stage yet,'_ she thought, even as she doubted.

Sophia's sweet tones brought Loki's mind back to the game at hand.

"I don't think staring at the board like that is going to let you develop telekinesis, Lani…"

"Worth a try, I suppose," she responded wryly as she made her move.

The game continued, and Loki's distraction cost her. For the first time in days Sophia gestured in victory, and she inadvertently knocked her glass of wine. She cursed and they both reacted, moving to catch it before it shattered on the floor. Their fingers tangled together around the globe, and Loki's heart fluttered. Sophia quickly withdrew her hand, a soft flush rising in her cheeks.

"A little enthusiastic tonight, aren't we?" Loki asked, distracting herself by leaving to fetch a towel.

"With how often you beat me, can you fault me for being excited that I finally won?"

Loki laughed, but inside she was cringing. Something was knotting in her chest and pooling warmth in her belly. She rubbed her hands against the tingling in her fingers where Sophia's had touched. Loki of Asgard was no stranger to carnality, but this was something different, something deeper. When she returned with the towel, Sophia took it from her.

"Here, let me, it's my mess."

Loki tucked her hands behind her back, picking at her palm with her nails as she watched Sophia mop up the splatter on the floor and table. Finished, she shouldered the towel and held her hands out for Loki's.

"Let me see. It didn't cut you, did it?"

The goddess allowed her to examine her fingers and hands, now realizing what the shudders across her own skin meant.

"I-I am uninjured, I assure you," she stammered and folded her hands against her belly.

"If you're sure…" She didn't believe Loki. "It's getting late anyway, for me, at least. I think I'm going to tuck in for the night." Sophia smiled before quickly turning away and disappearing into the bathroom.

Loki realized the other woman's flush had deepened, and it was not due to the alcohol. The physical response must have been mutual. That thought made her throat run dry.

'**_No_**_!_' she scolded herself, '_I berated Thor for this very thing!' _She had let the situation grow out of hand, allowed herself too much comfort and developed an attachment. '_To a **mortal** no less!'_ she thought with disbelief. She picked nervously at her palm again, trying to dispel the craving that was whispering through her veins. By the time it was gone and Loki was able to bed down, Sophia was already asleep. Loki stretched out on her own bed, scowling at nothing. '_This cannot be let to worsen. I must rebuff her and rid myself of this excessive fondness. If only I had my magic…That is what I truly long for. These feelings are simply misplaced. Yes, that must be it.'_

With those thoughts, she slipped into restfulness.

* * *

_A biting wind whipped around Loki, and he wrapped his arms tightly around himself. He realized he wore only a pair of frayed black breaches, had returned to his male form, and was still without his magic. He was on Jotunheim, and in the distance, he could see the towering reach of Utgard. The frozen wasteland stretched on for miles, but it was the only path he could take, and so he stumbled forward. Starting at his toes, his skin began turning blue, and his Jotun designs rose across his skin. Something cracked behind him, and he twisted to see what it was. Red eyes met fellow red and Loki reeled away from the undefined monstrosity. The ice broke under his feet, and he fell._

_The air grew warm as he tumbled and took on the smells of oil, scorched metal, and death._

_A familiar shattering screamed through his bones as he crumpled on something hard, and he cried out. Sparks flew from unseen cables, a hunched form he knew was Thor sat in shadow, as helpless as he. Loki tried to sit up, to see where he was, but there was no need: he already knew. Heavy footsteps reverberated through the metal floor and he panicked. He knew what was coming. As the titan's shadow fell over him and the enormous gloved hand came down, Loki gritted his teeth and rolled. Every movement was excruciating._

_"Undying fealty indeed. Why do you try to evade fate?" The beast's voice had not changed. "I told you once; no resurrections. You cannot escape me."_

_As the hand came down on him again, the metal floor dropped away, and Loki plunged deep into warm, sapphire waters. Above, golden light; Asgard. Home. He kicked and flailed with his broken limbs, slowly rising toward the surface, but not fast enough. Air escaped him, water burned in his lungs, and his vision began to blur. An elegant silhouette fell across the water just as he lost the strength to continue struggling. A graceful hand baring a golden ring he could not mistake slid into the water and took him by the arm, pulling him up. Floating above the surface, he was at the mercy of a kindly smiling Frigga, and his skin did not burn her._

_Tears fell from his eyes and froze along his cheeks and neck. His apologies were endless; for Laufey, for Thor, for Odin, for letting her die._

_"I should have been there, mother!" Loki sobbed. "I could have stopped him; I could have saved you!"_

_Sadness touched her face, and Loki knew what was about to happen. A black-and-red iridescent shadow rose behind her; a blade sliced forth from her chest. She smiled even as her body dissolved into cloud and he slipped from her fingers. Loki grasped for her and screamed again; in rage, in terror, in heartbreak; but it was silent. His pain did not matter, and neither did he as he plunged into sapphire once more._

* * *

I scolded myself as I washed my face, as I brushed my hair and changed, and a final time as I tucked into bed. '_Just friends. Nothing else. No matter what I might feel, she doesn't feel the same, and I can't expect her to; not when she's just going to leave. Don't forget that: she's **leaving**.'_ I hugged my pillow as I let the minor influence of alcohol urge me to drift.

I woke to Lani's screaming.

I sat bolt up, eyes darting to her bed. She was contorted, writhing on her back and shrieking as though someone was gutting her alive. I was on my feet and at her side before I could register the cold of the room.

"Lani! Lani, wake up!" I pulled the blanket away and took her arms in my hands, trying to steady her. "_Lani!_"

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped for air, eyes fixed on some formless horror.

"Lani?" I ventured softly, calmly. "It's okay, it was just a dream."

I let her sit up, still staring straight ahead, sweat dampening her clothes and sheets as her chest continued to heave. I pressed a reassuring hand to the back of her shoulder. She finally caught her breath and realized where she was, that it had only been a dream. She did not cry as I had come to expect from someone waking from a nightmare. Instead, and much to my surprise, she allowed herself to fall against me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders without hesitation and tucked her head under my chin, stroking her hair and cooing.

I didn't know how long I sat like that with her before she began to slump, falling into sleep. I gently laid her back down and pulled her blanket up, tucking it around her. As I turned to step away, I felt her fingers catch my wrist.

"Please," she whispered, voice reminiscent of the day I first met her, "do not leave me alone."

My heart jumped. I turned back to her, gently removing her fingers. "I didn't then and I won't now. I'm right there, see?" I pointed at my bed, not far away.

Her eyes finally moved, flicking to meet mine as quiet tears slithered free. "Please…"

I understood now what she was asking for. The beds in this room were too small to share, so I heaved mine next to hers. I tucked back in so we faced one another, and I offered her a comforting hand. She took me by the wrist in a way that reminded me of a commanding regent and pulled it against her chest. I fought to keep my fingers in check as they pressed into her soft warmth. I could feel her heart still thundering in her chest, her breathing unsteady.

"You're okay," I whispered, "I'm right here."


	8. Chapter 8

The first thing Loki realized when she woke was that her fingers had gone stiff. Cracking her eyes open, she found them locked around Sophia's wrist, who had pushed her bed against her own and was sleeping peacefully. Slowly, Loki peeled her fingers away, noting the deep red impressions they left. Sophia woke almost at once, took in the world, and then gave Loki a reassuring smile.

"I thought you were having another nightmare," she said softly.

Still dazed from her dreams, Loki sat up and shook her head.

"Shall I make coffee?" Sophia asked kindly, and Loki nodded.

Sophia slipped away and Loki drew her legs up to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees. She was exhausted, filmy, shaken, and thirsty. From the pounding of her head, she had cried during the night. She could not recall it, however, or when Sophia had pushed her bed next to her own. That nightmare, though… Her fingers touched at her sore throat, and her eyes began to burn as she recalled Frigga's smiling face and her own screaming. She eased to her feet and wandered to the shower; cleaning up would solve several of her problems.

The water was not as hot as at Sophia's home, but it was passable. Clean, Loki sat on the bed and picked through her hair with a comb. Sophia slipped in with two steaming mugs, setting one on the bedside table within reach for Loki. The goddess could sense her companion's desire to speak, most likely to ask her about her nightmare. Instead, Sophia sat on the bed next to her, politely quiet for a long moment.

"Would…you like me to do that for you?" Sophia asked, and Loki realized she was losing her argument with a gnarl.

Lacking the strength to deny her, Loki handed the comb over and turned her back to Sophia. She set her coffee aside and began carefully running the comb through Loki's dark hair. Shivers ran up and down her spine as Sophia smoothed it tenderly along her back.

"It's grown much longer than before. I wish I had hair like yours…" she said sweetly.

"I promise, you do not. It is often unruly."

Loki cringed at the sound of her own voice, still rough from her screams, even as Sophia giggled.

"Kind of like you, I suppose. Doesn't change my mind."

A corner of Loki's mouth twitched but could not quite manage a smile. The snags were gone, but Sophia continued to run the comb through as her hair dried. Each pass swept a bit more of Loki's unrest away, replacing it with calm and a sense of safety.

The coffees had long gone cold by the time Sophia rose from the bed.

"I think breakfast is in order."

Loki caught her wrist again as she passed, meeting her gaze. "Thank you."

Sophia twisted her hand to grasp Loki's wrist in return. Words were unnecessary; their thoughts and feelings were easily communicated this way. Sophia tugged questioningly, and Loki let her pull her to her feet. They held each other's wrists for a moment more before breaking away. Sophia cleared her throat and returned swiftly to the kitchen.

"Bring the mugs, would you? I'll make some fresh," she called.

Loki ran her fingers along the shallow impressions in her wrist, and her thoughts from the evening prior returned. '_This cannot happen. I **must **re-establish distance.' _Still, she could not bring herself to regret her actions thus far. She plucked up the mugs of tepid brew and returned them to the kitchen where Sophia had already set to work on new coffee and food. She settled herself regally in one of the squishy chairs in the common area and watched, elbow on the armrest and her temple against her knuckles.

'_She is below me; a human animal; a dull-witted creature like the rest of her kind. Before I realize, she will be nothing more than dust, and this pained breath of my life will have passed into obscurity. It is but a heartbeat.'_

Loki ran these thoughts through her mind repeatedly, observing said human animal with a passive expression, but she could not convince herself. She was becoming caught in her own flimsy web the same as she had several times in the past. This time, however, she could neither fight her way out nor flee. The trickster goddess was trapped.

* * *

I decided to give Lani some space. If I was to judge from the soreness in my wrist, whatever her nightmares were had cut deep. She flicked her eyes around more often today, perhaps nervous, perhaps still rattled. I kept in her field of vision, and she calmed when her eyes found me.

I waited for her to show she was open to interaction, but a clear sign never came. For the last day, she was as distant as when I first brought her home. What memories had her nightmare brought back? I would be lying if I said seeing her like this didn't pain me, and I was torn between respecting her need for silence and wanting to comfort her.

The first leg of the drive home was filled with unnerving silence. Lani stared out the window, pensive, and I chewed my lip and fidgeted as I fought the urge to question her. Something in me needed to feel connected with her now, and her cold shoulder was becoming unbearable. The spell broke when we stopped for gas, and I took advantage of it to engage her.

"So, how's work going?" I asked, "Anything new?"

She didn't look at me but did respond. "Abhorrent, as always. These people are so exhausting-ly tedious"

"How much longer do you think you have?"

"Two months, perhaps three."

My heart sank, but I tried to sound happy for her. "So not much longer; that's something at least. Have you started looking at ticket prices again?"

"I have not."

"I would suggest you do sooner rather than later. Seasonal deals come and go."

She hummed at me and turned in her seat to set down her bottle of water.

"What about places to stay?"

"The area I desire is available."

"Mm." Then a thought struck me, and I almost kicked myself for not thinking of it sooner. "Lani, is your passport current…?"

Her confused expression told me she did not even have one. I resisted the urge to sigh deeply. The rest of the drive was a complicated conversation of how to acquire travel documents for Lani. She was looking at me now, actively engaged, and despite the frustrating nature of the discussion, it put me at ease.

Neither of us had come up with a solution by the time we reached home. Groggy, we dropped the bags off in the walkway to unpack later, cleaned up, and went straight to bed. I was asleep before I finished pulling the blankets over my shoulder.

I woke in the late morning, stiff from the depth of slumber. As I shifted to find a new, comfortable position, I realized there was a weight behind me on my bed. Blinking, I took a glance. Back to me, the dip and swell of her form mirroring mine, was Lani. She was wrapped in her own blanket, and had her hair braided and tossed up so it wouldn't catch between us.

Unwilling to disturb her, I laid back down, subtly pressing against her. I could feel her breathing along my shoulder blades, felt her warmth even through our blankets, felt her every minor shift. Having her so near sent shivers across my skin, desire budding and tightening my core. I could smell her conditioner and body wash, could almost hear her heart beat; or was that my own? I was a solitary sleeper by preference, and so I should have felt crowded. It was Lani crowding me, though. I couldn't bring myself to begrudge her the solace she clearly needed, or deny myself the closeness to her that I so craved.


	9. Chapter 9

Neither Loki nor Sophia spoke about the cabin or her sleeping in Sophia's bed. They did not speak about how they began standing and sitting closer to one another, how they exchanged blushing or coy smiles more often. Neither said anything about how Loki stretched her legs between them on the couch, or how Sophia ran her fingertips along her feet and ankles. The intangible thing that existed between them now was delicate, taboo, and it would disintegrate if examined too closely. It was newly fallen snow on a naked blacktop, the spots of color in one's vision; not to be chased or meddled with.

Their daily routines became rituals that cycled depending on if Sophia worked from home, or if Loki was working late. They each played their part reliably, or left the other a note and some small treat or trinket in recompense if they could not. The predictability of it lent to boredom, and Loki quickly rectified it by working in their former game of tricks and pranks. She learned exactly how far she could push Sophia without truly angering her and flirted with that line. To Loki's pleasure, Sophia did not hold her grudges for long, instead using them as excuses to strike back at Loki twice as hard. Turning the power strip off so Sophia's computer battery drained earned Loki static-laden clothing. Slitting her tea bags so the leaves escaped meant Loki's groceries for dinner were all foods she detested. A loosened blazer button here, lipstick on the mirror there, a run in the hose, transferable ink on the steering wheel, or, Loki's bane: nothing at all. It was Sophia's favorite trick to hint at what she had done to make Loki paranoid when in fact nothing awaited her.

Once again, Loki longed for her magic. It would have made these and her latest trap for Sophia all the more entertaining. '_I can already see her baring her teeth, hear her snarling my name!_' Loki thought with gleeful anticipation. She arranged her note and the gift box on Sophia's bedside table, making it seem some apologetic token. '_It will be in her hair for days…'_ she allowed herself to chuckle.

Using the information she had weaseled and swiped from the COMF office and women's home resources, Loki followed a promising lead on obtaining her necessary travel documentation. Tonight, she was acting on it. She applied the cheap, gaudy make-up she'd purchased on the way home to obscure her face, slipped into her shoes and coat, and locked the door behind her. She timed her departure so she would not meet Sophia driving home, and made her way toward a residential area on the other side of town barely fit for even a chitauri.

It was dark by the time she arrived.

The scent of the neighborhood changed, and her humor faded. The daughter of Asgard pulled her long black coat tighter around herself, eyes and ears sharp as she searched for the house she needed. Everything about this squalid neighborhood wept of neglect and made Loki's skin crawl.

Eventually, she found the flaking numbers of the address she sought on a rounded curb in the struggling light of a streetlamp. In the driveway sat a polished black vehicle, the most cared-for thing she had seen tonight. The front yard was fenced in, the grass unkempt and half dead. A burly hound with sharp ears and a square head came bounding to the fence, snarling and barking. Loki recoiled, nervous that the fence would not hold such a beast, but relaxed when she saw the chain around its neck pull taut.

She caught the slightest movement in the window as she walked up the drive to the front porch, carefully navigating the crumbled stairs. She rang the bell and crossed her arms, holding a fold of large bills clearly visible in one hand, a manila folder of papers in the other. She bounced a bit as she waited, as though fending off the chill of the night. Finally, the inner door opened a crack, and a large brown eye glowered at her.

"The fuck you want, bitch?"

Loki smiled. "I'm looking for someone who can help me." She held the top sheet of one of the information forms against the screen for the man to read.

"You got money?" the man grumped.

Loki fanned the bills in her hand just so, pleased when he unhitched a chain and opened the doors. He threw something from a bucket by the door into the front yard, silencing the hound as it ate, and locked the door behind Loki.

"Lemme see that."

The hulking man snatched the folder and bills from Loki's hands, all but shoved her onto a broken and stained couch, and ordered her to stay put as he slipped into another room. Loki quickly took stock of this common area. The carpet was stained as well and had small, round burn marks here and there. A wood table sat in what had to be the cramped dining area under a cheap chandelier and bore gouges, stains, and burns of its own. There were two doors to other rooms branching off the common area, one closed and one cracked open where the man had slipped through.

She listened to the voices in that room. The language was profane, uncultured, but she could understand that they were deciding her money was legitimate and her paperwork in order. The first man returned, accompanied by another scrawnier man. He examined Loki with beady eyes, her folder open in his hands.

"Well, well. Good evening, Ms. Hall- "

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather skip the formalities," Loki said impishly.

"Woman of business; I like it." The scrawny man grinned, his stained teeth on full display. "Leaving the country, are we?"

"Sooner rather than later, if I have my way."

"Well, sweetie, these things take time. Printing alone can take hours." The man shrugged. "And you aren't the only person requesting these; it could be a while."

"Surely there's a way to hasten the process," Loki could sense they were toying with her but maintained her jaunty demeanor, ever-grinning, ever charming.

"Well, I suppose I could let you pay the expedited service fee," the larger man flicked through the bills he'd taken from Loki, both men counting, "but it doesn't look like you have enough."

"Name your price." She reclined leisurely on the couch.

The men turned away for a moment, whispering.

"$5700," the scrawny man declared. It was clear he expected her to argue.

"For such a price, I would insist on inspecting the product before paying. I can't part with so much for something that may be no better than a student's identification card."

The enormous man blustered beside the smaller, who raised a hand to hold him at bay. "Demanding, aren't you, kitten?"

Loki canted her head just so, a corner of her lip curling into her signature smirk.

"Are you going to show me, or not?"

The smaller man considered the mouthy woman on his couch for a moment before calling for a third person. This one appeared from the second room, and Loki surmised he could be no older than an adolescent. He was nervous, flinching often as he produced a few finished examples of passports and driver's licenses for Loki to examine. '_These will do nicely. Now, to have them made. I refuse to come back here.' _Loki turned her doe-y green eyes to him and smiled gently.

"These are well done. You must take immense pride in your work," she purred, and he blushed, scratching the back of his neck. "Do you think you could make me one of each tonight?"

The scrawny man spoke before the boy could. "That's not for him to decide, and you still haven't paid the rest of the money."

Loki glanced between the grown men before rising from the couch. "Ah, yes, I knew I was forgetting something." She pushed the boy into her seat as she rose and stepped away.

The scrawny man held out his hand expectantly. Instead of money, Loki placed her hand in his. She might be trapped in this form, but she still had her Jotun strength and speed. He had only a moment to be confused before Loki had palmed his nose, his jaw, and his diaphragm, crumpling him to the floor. The larger man responded immediately, but Loki ducked smoothly out of his grasp and knocked him cold from behind. He fell atop the bleeding man, pinning him. The boy on the couched screamed in fear and panic. He scrambled into its corner and threw his arms up protectively. Loki straightened her clothes and returned to him, shushing and patting his head.

"You're all right dear, don't worry. As long as you can give me what I need..."

As he worked, she bound and gagged the older men, locking them in the basement after reclaiming her money. Exploring the house, she found multiple thick stacks of bills left simply lying about. '_This is more than double what I need to leave this place. How careless,'_ she thought as she tucked a few into her coat. Loki had to wake the boy several times through the night, promising he would be safe if he continued working. The horizon was beginning to lighten as she examined the finished products, comparing them to the ones she had inspected before.

"You've done very well," she cooed, stroking his face with the back of her hand. He kept his eyes on the ground, trembling. "Now, if you'll return my paperwork, I'll be on my way."

He tried to argue, stating something about policy, but the princess had her way in the end. Halfway home, she ducked into an alley to change. She removed her make-up with the wipes she'd tucked into her pocket, transferred the money and documents to a discrete bag she'd kept hidden inside the coat, and disposed of the long black article in a dumpster. Sophia would still be asleep. Loki could slip inside without her knowing anything had ever been amiss.


	10. Chapter 10

"Lani, I'm home!" I called cheerfully.

When there was no response, I searched cautiously for the customary note, finding one on my bedside table accompanying a lovely gift box the size of my hand. At first, I was touched, running my eyes across the elegant script that was Lani's handwriting.

"_Sophia,_

_I will be home late tonight. Please do not wait up. I apologize that you will have to feed yourself. Do settle on something resembling actual food. I will make it up to you in the morning._

_\- L"_

I'd grown used to her one-letter signature and set the note aside, examining the box. Green with gold ribbon, Lani's colors. I couldn't help but smile as I picked it up. Noting the weight, my smile faded slightly. Was this a trap or a trinket? '_Lani, what have you done this time?'_ I thought. As inconvenient as some of her pranks were, I couldn't help but look forward to them. I knew it was how she showed she cared. Curiosity as the death of me, I drew a breath and opened the box.

A small fan began to whir, showering me, my clothes, my bed, and my floor in fine rainbow glitter. I stood there, stunned for a moment, watching the cloud settle. '_…I hate this stuff… She knows I hate this stuff. She KNOWS I hate this…this…CRAP!' _I thought with increasing enmity. '_And now it's everywhere! How am I supposed to get any of this out?! Goddamnit, Lani!_' I eased my way into my bathroom, shaking and rinsing off as much as I could. I washed my hair and scrubbed, leaving the ruined clothes in the tub. Once I knew I could remove no more, I stepped out and used an old towel to dry off. In the mirror, I could see I still had glitter across my face, in my hair…

'…_I am going to fucking kill her…'_

I reiterated my intention until the words became sounds without meaning as I employed my vacuum, tape, and wet paper towels to rescue my room. By the time I had removed the bulk of the glitter, my eyes were growing heavy. I couldn't sleep yet, however, not knowing I could dispose of more of this horrible stuff. I cringed at the thought of possibly tracking it through the rest of the house, but I needed coffee if I was going to continue cleaning.

I noted the time on the kitchen clock. I'd been at this for four hours already! It was dark out now. '_Well, I **had** planned on taking care of that wasp's nest today…' _I grumbled; and then I frowned. '_Even if she was working late or running an errand, Lani should have been back by now… I know it doesn't take her this long to walk home, and she doesn't use the buses so she isn't stranded.'_ I chewed worriedly at my lip. '_Surely she'll be home any moment now. Damn… I'm too tired to even be angry with her anymore. Just please come home.'_

I sat at the kitchen table with my coffee, waiting even though her note said to not. One cup, two, three. It was 12 AM, 1 AM, 2. Concern lost out to fatigue. Against my greatest protest, I felt my forehead press against the cool table and the world slip away.

I woke to Lani's hand running along my shoulders, her silken tones murmuring my name. I sat up with a start, coming around quickly. My cup of coffee was gone, light was spilling in through the windows, and Lani was in her pajamas, hair pulled back.

"I thought I told you not to wait up," she scolded playfully as she set a plate in front of me.

"Yeah, I…um…" I rubbed at my eyes. The previous night came back to me, and I turned a stony eye to her. "Yes, Lani, I _did_ find your note," you growled.

Lani's lips drew into a thin line as she tried not to smile. "I see the stars are still in your hair." She was barely holding in her laughter as I glared daggers.

"Oh, yes, the 'stars' are all over my room now as well, thank you not at all." I pulled the plate toward me and jabbed a fork at the eggs. "These had better be the best eggs you've ever made…"

Lani finally laughed, slipping into the other chair, elbow on the table and her chin in her hand imperiously. "Oh? Or what? What will you do, Sophia?" she asked with great interest.

I shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe some of your slacks will find their way into my whites."

Her smile fell slightly, and she chuckled. She started to respond, but the smirk on my own face gave her pause. She sat back, doubtful. "You wouldn't dare."

I shrugged again. '_At this point, I just might.'_

She canted her head, narrowing her eyes with that impish grin. "Oh, that's a nasty move."

"Not as nasty as a friend that's gone 'til past 2 AM and doesn't call," I mentioned offhandedly. She started to respond, but I pinned her with a glance. The cheer left the room, and her shoulders drooped. Her mouth worked, but no words came. She seemed confused, wounded, but I felt no guilt.

"…I…"

"I was really worried about you." I kept my voice as calm as I could. "I didn't know if something had happened, if you had run away, what."

Offense crossed her features. "Why would I run away?"

My calm snapped. "I don't know, Lani! Maybe your family got too close and spooked you, how would I ever know?" I leaned forward and hissed. "And you wanna know the real shit thing? I can't even call the police to look for you because _you don't really exist_."

Lani blinked at me, taken aback.

"You could be dead in a gutter somewhere, or worse, and I would never know. _No one would_. I have no picture, no real name or social to give anyone; and even if I did I wouldn't because it would chance your family finding out. So even if you _were_ found and returned home safely, we'd have a whole other problem to deal with."

She clenched her jaw, shoulders squaring in that proud way she had about her.

I drained the venom from my tone. "I couldn't bear that, Lani… It's not funny, it hurts. Please, don't do that again."

I slid a hand across the table, palm up to ask for our customary grasp. She fixed her eyes on it as though it would bite her.

"Please; promise me. Don't go anywhere I can't follow you. At least until you leave for Norway…" I dropped my eyes at that thought, and felt my heart wrench.

"Why worry yourself over when and where I come and go?" Her voice was low, almost a sneer. "I return home safely each day, do I not?"

"Because I lo-!" I stopped myself just in time and sighed heavily. "Because I care about you; a lot, okay? You're my best friend…"

The diversion didn't work. Was I truly so naïve as to think it would? I could feel her eyes narrowing at me, could almost hear her lips pursing. Fear locked me in its frigid grip. I'd done it now, I'd crossed that line. I hadn't said it, but Lani wasn't stupid; she knew what I meant, how I felt. The seconds ticked by like years of agony. Exposed and feeling foolish, I drew my hand back.

Lani caught my forearm with a strength I didn't know she had. I returned her hold in kind and dared to glance at her again. I didn't recognize the look in her eyes as she stood and pulled me to my feet. Clasped arms crossed between us, she pulled me into a one-armed hug that I mirrored, and she pressed my forehead into her shoulder.

"It was not my intention to cause concern," she said quietly, the genuine apology was in her tone.

"Then promise me, please." I tightened my grip, almost begging.

She was quiet for a moment, then tightened her hold as well. Her voice was thick.

"You have my word."


	11. Chapter 11

Sophia was still groggy as she rushed off to work thirty minutes later. Waiting up for Loki had made her late. That day, the day after, and the next, Loki warred with herself in front of the mirror.

'_Damn. DAMN! Why did I say that?! What in Hel possessed me to swear a vow to her?!' _If anyone in the Nine knew the binding power of such things, it was Loki; so _why_? She glared at herself.

'_Have I truly lost all sense? I should know better than this. I **do** know better than this! Attachments are weaknesses, they serve only to endanger me! It nearly killed me the last time I yielded; so why can I not stop myself now? Why concern myself with her opinion? Why does her pain burn also within me?'_

'_Because she loves you,' _a kindly voice whispered in the back of her mind.

Loki knew it was not real, but the words lingered, nevertheless. '_No,'_ she argued, '_Sophia loves Lani, not I; not Loki...'_ A familiar misery gripped her and she dropped her head. By her own design, Loki was once more in the shadow of someone else. First Odin, then Thor, now Lani. She scowled as she combed her hair, torn.

Lani was more than another form, she was a mask; and Loki had donned her willingly. It kept her hidden, safe, alive, but also trapped.

'_I cannot escape this… Every detail of that dratted woman thrills me. I cannot afford to wait, and yet, I do not wish to part so soon…_'

Loki blinked at her reflection, appalled with herself. A walk; that would clear her head. She locked the door behind her and took to the sidewalks. She knew which turns to take based on the fade of the missing persons' posters on the various poles, the state of the abandoned cars she passed, and the shattered designs of the empty shop windows.

Her plan to leave for Norway alone and be done with this was best. She knew this in every fiber of her being, but she could not resist an opportunity to have even a little more time in Sophia's company. It mattered not that her love was for a lie, that delaying things would agonize them both, or that Loki was being egregiously selfish.

'_Peace, Goddess of Mischief, this too shall pass,'_ Loki told herself. '_It's just a game, like all the rest. Besides, it is Sophia's own folly for allowing herself to develop an attachment! Her own fault if this pains her!'_ Loki thought, trying to place as much blame at Sophia's feet as she could. _'Our relationship is purely platonic. I have indicated nothing else.'_

Loki refused to recognize this was all a defense mechanism, so she did not have to feel. Such "necessary evils" came second-nature to her as means to her ends, like when she tried to hand Thor over to the Grandmaster on Sakaar. _'The reward truly would have set me up nicely for quite some time, had I chosen to stay,'_ she thought bitterly. Thor did manage to give Loki a bit of advice that day, however. She had grown complacent with the success of her designs and had not realized her own predictability.

_'The same old tricks bare the same bitter fruits,'_ she considered. _'Perhaps even the oaf can have a moment of clarity now and again. Perhaps…a bit of change, something different, would do me good.'_ Loki stopped at the crosswalk, hand over the signal button. '_And Sophia has mentioned several times how she would enjoy a trip outside her home country. Her continued insight would be useful. I would be foolish to deny myself such an advantage.'_

Despite the practicality of her plan, Loki knew it was all a ploy to keep in her friend's company a while longer. So long as she did not say as much, however, it would not be known. So long as it was unknown, Loki would not need to bear the weight of such sentiment. She slipped her hand back into her pocket, turned on heel, and made her way home.

She had decided.

When Sophia returned that Friday afternoon, Loki had sketched out a rough itinerary for Norway on a pad of paper for her to review. The mortal woman scrutinized it for a moment before she turned a confused eye to Loki.

"I… I'm not quite sure what this is supposed to mean, Lani. Are you taking someone with you? Why is there a return trip on here?"

"I thought, perhaps, it would be reckless to, as you say, leap without looking. It is one thing to view an image, something completely different to walk the halls of a prospective home. And you have mentioned many a time how you long to visit somewhere other than this country. Considering how often I hear you disturbed or kept awake by the needs of your project, perhaps another vacation has come due."

Sophia blinked, slowly taking in Loki's meaning. "A vacation; with…you?" Loki nodded. "To Norway?"

Loki smiled. "I have already calculated the additional costs and determined the prime travelling season."

The other woman laughed. "Um, yeah, I see that here. I usually spend the Snap Day holiday with my family…" she trailed off when she saw Loki's saddened expression. "…But I think enjoying the festivities elsewhere might be good all around."

Loki lit up again. "It is agreed, then? You will come with me?"

Sophia sighed and threw up her arms. "Fuck it, why not? Let's visit Norway!"

Loki could see the pain slithering beneath the surface of Sophia's contrived gallantry but chose to ignore it. She was a rational woman of great fortitude, surely this trip would be a simple enough thing for her to brush off.

'_Besides, it's all just a game.'_

* * *

_'You're being stupid, you're being selfish, you're being childish; knock it off,'_ I told myself in the mirror every morning leading up to the trip to Norway. _'This is to help out Lani, as a friend and nothing else. She's already gone, so just let it go!'_

But I couldn't, not when she was every day in my head, in my house, bringing delight and comfort at every turn. Before, this place had been a simple construction of wires and drywall and rooms, a place to survive the hardships of a world rent asunder by the whims of an otherworldly being. In no time at all, Lani made it a real home, reminiscent of the times before.

The thought of letting her go was acid in my veins; but so, too, was the abhorrent desire to hold her prisoner here. The strings of my heart were tightropes now, and I had no idea which way I was going to fall.

* * *

Loki had not considered that mortal air travel was little better than packing one of those cans of "fish" and hurling it at its destination. She was grateful to Sophia for purchasing seats in the "First Class" section, but the extra space and comfort did little to alleviate her anxiety. Loki enjoyed flying, but only if she or another competent pilot was in control. When they finally landed in Oslo, Sophia's wrist and forearm had bruises with Loki's fingerprints.

"I still can't believe you've never been on an airplane before, Lani," Sophia laughed.

"Nothing so unwieldy," Loki clarified. "At least, not where I was not piloting."

"Yet another of your hidden talents."

As Sophia had traveled more often, Loki followed her lead through the airport navigating the multilingual signs, managing their rental car, and finally taking them to their temporary residence. Sophia had insisted on surprising Loki with it, and at first, she was not impressed, even if it was a preferable cabin-style home. Space was limited compared to what either woman was used to, not even half the size of Sophia's family cabin with all the amenities crammed inside.

"Air BnB for the win, I suppose…" She tried to joke, and Loki gave her a humorless side glance.

"Is this really where we are staying?"

Sophia grinned. "I'm certain you'll find something you like about it soon enough. We should stay awake until local sundown."

Loki groaned. "I could sleep on my feet, Sophia…"

"Me, too, but if we're going to be alert for the trip, we have to adjust our schedules the hard way. Jet lag is a cruel mistress."

Loki was too exhausted to argue. After a full day in a metal tube, she felt disgusting and insisted on taking her shower first. When she finished, she found Sophia had prepared a plate of sliced fruits and tea in the small kitchen to tide them over. Loki helped herself and gave in to her curiosity while Sophia took her turn in the bathroom.

The living space was hardly fit for a servant, and since there was little to it, Loki moved quickly to explore the exterior. A small table and a pair of chairs sat on the narrow veranda. Further down was an open shower and steps leading down to a band of green and wildflowers. Beyond was the rocky lake shore. To the left and right of theirs were similar abodes. Gazing out over the view, Loki was struck by its beauty. Fertile and snow-capped mountains rose gently on either side and in the distance where the vast lake disappeared. The sky was clear and open, unobstructed by mortal trappings or forest canopy. The scents and sounds of the city Loki had grown used to were absent, allowing her whole being to give a sigh of relief as she took it in.

_'This is why Sophia chose to lodge here,' _she thought. _'Odin was right: this is home.'_

Her companion quietly joined her at the lakeside once she, too, was clean and dressed, tea in hand.

"This time of year, the day-night cycle is fairly even," she explained. "The days will grow longer here soon and there won't be nighttime. I thought you'd want to see it while there was still darkness."

"And why is that?" Loki glanced at her.

Sophia just smiled. "You'll see if you stay up with me."

Loki decided to indulge her after all.

The weather and temperature in Oslo were like Sophia's home this time of year, but the lake made it a touch cooler and moister. They pulled blankets and spread them on a flat section of rock at the edge of the lake, lounging comfortably as they watched the wisps of cloud glide lazily across the blue and other visitors bustle about their own cabins or dive into the water. A few swam over to the reclining women, all blonde hair and blue eyes, fascinated by the visitors. They attempted conversation, but Sophia didn't understand their language. Loki did, however. '_It is similar to Old Asgardian. I should not be surprised.'_

When they left, Sophia gave Loki a weary side glance and commented. "Yet another hidden skill in your arsenal…"

Loki shrugged noncommittally.

The day finally waned, and the air grew cold. Sophia pulled another blanket for them to huddle under. Loki followed her motion to the darkening sky, and they both watched as it filled with a sea of stars.

_'The constellations are different, but this is not so different from the view I had from my balcony at the palace…'_ Loki thought, nostalgic.

It twisted lightly in her chest, and she nearly looked away too soon. The sensation was swept away as colors flickered across the sky, blooming into great serpentine ribbons. 

Greens, purples, blues, and reds bled like watercolors, fading and repainting themselves as soon as Loki had the chance to appreciate their designs. The sky reflected in the water, reminding her of the Bifrost, and pricking her with homesickness.

* * *

It was bittersweet, watching Lani stare in awe at the Northern Lights. She watched the sky and I watched her, the rainbow designs shimmering in her eyes and making it all the more exquisite. I etched this moment in my memory, trying to capture every fleeting detail. I knew that, all too soon, this would be the only part of her I had left. My eyes burned and I labored to breathe against the weight of our impending separation. I dropped my gaze to the surface of the lake and leaned back on my hands. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't bear to watch Lani anymore.

'_What the hell did I think was going to happen, coming here with her?'_ I scolded myself and shoved my selfish attachment into a deep, dark place where I wouldn't feel it; at least, for a while. I was doing well, my eyes were dry and my breathing was free; and then Lani chose to recline as well. Her fingers laid across mine as she leaned on her hand. I bit my lip until I tasted blood, fighting down every sentiment that tried to boil back to the surface. My body betrayed me, and my fingers slipped to lace with hers. She did not pull away.

_'Well…Fuck…'_

Just as I thought I would break, Lani's head began to droop, and I was thankful for the distraction. I felt the exhaustion clawing at me as well. I sent her inside while I cleaned up, letting the solitude clear my head. By the time I bedded down, she was already asleep, and I happily followed suit soon after. I was proud of myself, though. I'd made it through day one without incident…sort of…


	12. Chapter 12

Lani seemed to be walking on clouds as we navigated the strange country to examine her prospective homes. Something about this place resonated perfectly with her, and she easily communicated in both English and Norwegian with the locals. Seeing this made me realize quickly that she belonged here; not in Seattle, not with me. Strangely, it gave me the strength to continue my happy facade.

For the second time that day, Lani scrunched her nose as she closed her car door, crossing another home off her list.

"What was wrong with this one?" I asked.

"The common room windows face east," she stated, as though it should have been obvious.

"And that is a problem…why? You can always put up curtains…"

She scoffed. "It is the bedroom that should face east, my friend, to greet the sun each morn."

I quirked a brow. "You do remember that the day-night cycle here is not as stable as it is back in Seattle, right? I don't think such a minor detail will wind up mattering all that much."

Lani gave me a condescending look. "I thought we were looking at homes to suit _me_."

I just laughed at her haughtiness. "Alright, alright, it's no good. Where to next?"

The next two homes yielded similar results, but the third showed promise. I still could not quite grasp which details were most important to Lani, but I was happy she had found at least one that was agreeable. There were still two more days of this, hopefully she would find another so she could feel she had a real choice. I looked ahead to the homes scheduled for tomorrow while she conversed with the realtor in Norwegian, vaguely aware they were glancing at me here and there while the realtor was on the phone. The impish grin on Lani's face when she motioned that it was time to leave made me suspicious. In the safety of the car, I scrutinized her.

"Does that smile mean this one is still up for consideration?" I ventured.

She hummed an affirmative at me in a way that hinted there was more to it than that. "Perhaps that is enough monotony for one day." She turned her small notebook for me to see, pointing at an address I didn't recognize. "This shouldn't be too far from where we are lodging."

I rose a brow as I typed it into my phone's navigation. It was the only 5-star restaurant in Oslo that had managed to stay in business.

"It's not too far, no," I said cautiously. "…Lani, what did you do?"

She feigned innocence. "I merely took the initiative to ensure we had somewhere comfortable to spend tomorrow evening."

It dawned on me then. Lani avoided phones whenever she could, she must have convinced the realtor to make the reservations for her, thus, the phone call.

"That's…um…very kind of you, but I didn't bring anything that fancy for this trip, did you? And I refuse to show up there in what passes as business casual back home."

She dismissed the concern with a wave. "There is an apparel shop within walking distance of where we took lunch earlier."

"And how exactly are you going to pay for clothing that expensive? You spent nearly all your money on your half of this trip."

She smiled sweetly at me, batting those long, dark lashes. My momentary irritation at her presumption melted. I knew I had the savings to cover both the dinner and the clothes, but it was more than I had planned on spending this trip. Still, I couldn't find a good reason to deny her. '_And I wouldn__'__t mind having a nice dinner with a friend on such an anniversary. I wonder if she booked it for Snap Day intentionally.__'_

We were the only customers at the shop when we arrived. The attendants were ecstatic to see us, and I politely urged them through body language to fawn over Lani, who reveled in the attention. While she put them to task, I examined the some-what limited stock. Without demand, there was no need for supply, so it didn't perturb me, and I did manage to find something I liked. The price tag made me wince, but I tried it on anyway.

The dress was equal parts elegant and simple, an off-the-shoulder Venus cut of deep blue. With a rippling hem several inches long and half-bell sleeves, it fit perfectly, and was surprisingly comfortable. Lani made her approval of the silver brocade along the bodice well known, and sent one of the attendants to assist with shoes and accessories.

I cringed more and more with each piece I accepted as reasonably necessary for the outfit, but when I saw Lani fully dressed, I all but wept, and the price tags were forgotten.

She had chosen shimmering pale gold sleeveless blouse with a styled, but modest, neckline that tucked into a flowing floor-length black skirt. Crystals hung from her neck like stars and topped the clip she used to hold her dark locks back from her face. Tying it together was a sheer green shrug with golden edging that clung to her shoulders and spilled down her back. I had never been religious, but in that moment I found reason to believe, for my goddess was here on Earth.

She took a turn about the short catwalk, beaming down at me.

"Will this do?"

I could only nod and hand my card over to the cashier.

Back at our lodging, we both hung our finery with upmost care. Lani insisted on laying out again to watch the lights, but I excused myself due to fatigue. While Lani enjoyed the auroras, I took a calming bath. _'It's not a date, it's not a date, it is __**not a date!**_' I told myself again and again, dunking under the water to scream it once or twice. It wasn't, it _couldn't_ be! But damn if it didn't seem like one. '_It doesn't help that she's even __**acting**__ like a fucking girlfriend!'_ By the time the water went cold, I had myself convinced that Lani's greatest pleasure was tormenting me. She knew how I felt, about her, about her leaving…

I shoved the thought away, knowing it would only keep me awake. I drained the tub, dried, dressed, and burrowed under my blankets, intent on being asleep before Lani came inside. I focused on the comfort of a bed occupied only by myself, which smelled only of me and the fabric softener. This was how my life had been since I graduated high school, and it was contented. There was no need to disturb it more than I already had. Lani was temporary, a visitor, a guest. She would soon be gone and I would be alone again. I tried to recall the bliss of my solitude to no avail. Right now, I just couldn't.

The next day was tainted by the anticipation of dinner with Lani. Anything that ate up time was fine by me, so long as it meant we saw the houses Lani wished to see before calling it quits for the day. We had several hours left before the reservation when she finally did, and she insisted we visit the salon to have ourselves made up properly for the evening. The suggestion was just another thorn in my heart.

I chuckled, trying to remain pleasant. "Lani, I admire your enthusiasm, but, we've already spent enough money on tonight, and…" '_And it's not a date, so why bother going so far?'_ You shook your head. "Doesn't it seem a little excessive?"

Empathy lined her face. "Perhaps, but this day is no less significant simply because we are vacationing. I know it is usually spent with your family, and you have been generous enough to instead assist me. If the stories you've told of those you have lost, and those that remain, hold true, then you would honor them both by taking the rare opportunity to polish yourself to the finest on such a night."

I wanted to curse her silver tongue…but I knew she was right. I checked my savings account with a heavy sigh. This time when I relented, there was no sense of victory from Lani. I got the feeling what she said had come from the heart, and considered that, perhaps, this was also an excuse for her to honor those she had lost.

"Have anywhere in mind?" I asked.

"Actually, I do."

We made a quick stop to pick up our outfits for the evening before heading to the salon. My time there was a blur as I focused on keeping centered. Between the usual heartbreak of today and my feelings for and about Lani, I was an exposed wire. Hair, face, nails, make-up, Lani insisted on everything. When she passed from one station to the next, she took a moment to squeeze my hand or shoulder, almost as though she could sense my need for comfort. I chose not to question it, accepting the strength for what it was.

Once everything was complete and paid for, the beauticians allowed us to dress in one of the back rooms. I couldn't understand their words of adulation, but read it in their expressions and tones. To be honest, it felt nice. Lani's dark hair was curled back to dance along her shoulders, and I had mine in long, gentle waves. As I gazed at our reflections standing side-by-side, I felt almost magical. There was no way this was real…or perhaps I had simply forgotten how pretty I was when I chose to polish up even a little, let alone to this extent.

"You look lovely, my friend," Lani said earnestly, slipping her arm around my waist in a careful embrace. Her touch was, again, comforting, her words flattering, and I felt myself blush.

"As you do," I replied softly.

It felt somehow right and proper with the two of us like this, cheered, glowing, and together. It lasted only for a breath, and I let it dissolve as we slipped carefully into the rental car and made our way to the restaurant. I wouldn't entertain any further sense of comradery with her. My heart just couldn't take it. Lani belonged here, after all, and I belonged…

Well…

Elsewhere.

* * *

Loki could have been comprised purely of seidr for how elated she was. It was as near to her princely life on Asgard as she could achieve, and having a friend to share this familiar state with pleased her. _'All I am missing is my horned helm,'_ she giggled to herself. She led the way after the waitress to their table, seating herself as light as a feather and relaxing into her autocratic nature. Sophia's manners and posture were not as refined or exact as Loki's but she did not fault her companion; after all, she had been raised a commoner. That she made the attempt to raise herself above and emulate her betters was enough for the goddess. '_She is still superior to the vermin on this planet,'_ she thought, smiling at Sophia and gesturing permissively at the bread and butter between them.

"I took the liberty of requesting a wine to be let to breathe for us. I do hope it is to your liking," Loki mentioned, and her companion nodded. "It has an under taste of chocolate, I am told."

"Your taste is more refined than mine, I'm sure I'll enjoy whichever you chose."

As though on que, the waitress returned with water and said wine, pouring a sample for each lady. Loki considered it on her palette and found herself pleased, but Sophia took a moment longer to decide. Loki's smile faded just so.

"Is it not to your liking?"

She shook her head slightly. "I like it just fine, only I am not finding any of the chocolate you mentioned."

Loki motioned and the waitress showed her the label. It was the correct bottle. She frowned just slightly.

"What do you taste, then?"

Sophia smiled, reminiscent. "Clove."

"…Will it do?" Loki asked, unsure. In the moment, she did not worry for why Sophia's approval was of concern.

Sophia nodded decisively, and Loki gestured once more to the waitress, who poured their glasses and left the bottle in the ice bucket nearby. They were each silent for a short time as they glanced over the limited menu, and Loki began conversation once their orders were placed.

"I think I will quite enjoy living here."

"Anywhere is nice when someone else is footing the bill," Sophia teased before sipping her wine.

Loki chuckled. "Your contributions are well noted and appreciated, but I assure you they have not factored into my opinion of the place."

Sophia hummed, not quite convinced, but she let it pass. "Do you have a preference of any of the homes we've looked at so far? Keep in mind, there are two more scheduled tomorrow."

Loki took up a bit of bread and eased a thin layer of butter over it. "I was quite taken by the one that overlooks the harbor, but it was the same one whose common room windows faced eastward."

"The one near the park had bedroom windows facing east, like you want."

"True, but I found something about the architecture displeasing. I preferred the grander space of the home just beyond the markets."

"The one that was three times the cost?"

"Was it? I hadn't noticed," Loki shrugged lightly, as though it was of no consequence.

She examined the spread of butter for a moment and noticed Sophia had not taken a slice for herself when Loki offered. She felt it improper that she should have the first bite, considering all Sophia had done and would do on her behalf. She placed it on her appetizer dish and slid it toward Sophia in offering. The mortal woman's eyes flicked between Loki and the plate, hesitant and confused. Then she cleared her throat lightly and daintily drew the plate near, a slight blush rising across her cheeks.

"Thank you, Lani."

Loki nodded. As they continued bantering on about housing details, Loki buttered another slice for herself and watched Sophia pick delicately at her own. It was odd to see her struck demure, but as she seemed to be enjoying herself, Loki attributed it reverence of the day. They were quiet when the soup arrived, neither wanting it to go cold, and afterward Sophia urged Loki to consider future employment in Oslo.

"It is more expensive here than back in Seattle, Lani, especially if you insist on having your fish fresh. A job similar to what you have now may not be enough."

Loki sipped her wine, unperturbed. "It is an issue I will see to in good time." She hoped it would force the subject to pass, but Sophia continued to all but stare her down. "My friend, why concern yourself with such a small detail? I will see to it. You know I am more than capable."

"Yes, you are, it's one of the reasons we get along so well; but, you are also over-confidant at times and can overlook important details where these things are concerned." She glanced down at her dwindling bit of bread, plucking another piece of crust off. "This seems to be where you want to be, and you've been happy here so far, so I don't want to see you set up for failure."

Loki slowly canted her head, considering the woman across the table. When she poised herself, most especially in her sumptuous attire and disposition, she appeared to be a creature misplaced. The princess thought for the briefest moment that Sophia was better suited to the ranks of the wise matriarchy Loki had been raised by, not the plebeians on this slum of a world. It was pure coincidence, she was certain, but Loki wondered nevertheless.

"Tell me, Sophia, why did you choose this specific dress for tonight?"

Sophia blinked, blindsided by the non sequitur. After a moment, she touched a hand gently to the brocade of her bodice. "My parents…" She shook her head and began again. "It's the color scheme of my family coat of arms. I thought if there were any colors I should wear tonight, it should be these. It keeps them with me." She gave Loki a kindly smile. "The hoodie I gave you to wear the night I found you was blue and light gray. I bought it for a similar reason."

Loki tried to think back, but could not for the life of her recall any such detail about the ragged thing Sophia had thrust upon her. She felt no shame in that, but noted the significance of the parallel, and the symbolism. She set her arm just so, lightly resting her chin on a finger.

"Tell me about them." Surely there was something of note or interest about the sires of the creature that had managed to enthrall someone like herself.

Her companion laughed. "They weren't much anything of note. Parents just like any others, you know?"

Loki smirked impishly. "While modesty wears well on you, I highly doubt _your_ parents were as common place as you say."

Sophia took another sip of her wine to delay. As though answering a silent plea, the waitress appeared with their main course to provide distraction. Loki's dish was fine, but Sophia poked at hers a bit, looking unsatisfied. The waitress tarried expectantly.

"Is something wrong?" Loki asked.

"No no, I suppose I misread the menu. I thought this came with capers, not olives."

She attempted to dissuade Loki to no avail. The princess would endure not a single imperfection this night. A simple exchange in Norwegian, and the waitress swept the dish away, looking quite embarrassed.

"Lani, what did you say to that poor woman?" Sophia asked, nearly mortified. "I can live without capers and eat around the olives. It isn't like I'm allergic to them."

"That is not what she thinks."

Sophia's amusement shined through her vexation, and she hid her face behind her hand until she regained her composure. Her corrected dish came quickly enough, and Loki approved it only when she was certain Sophia was satisfied. She attempted to speak, but her words failed her. Finally, she sighed.

"Thank you, Lani."

"You are most welcome, Sophia."


	13. Chapter 13

Over dessert, Sophia found it within herself to grant Loki's earlier request. She told her about her father, the nurse, her mother, the artisan, and how they had built the cabin Sophia and her family visited every year. Loki gestured for her to continue, if she wished, and so she did.

"They passed away before The Snap," she mentioned, answering Loki's unspoken curiosity. "Hazards of my father's job, I suppose. They both were quarantined before I caught whatever it was, and I…never saw them again." She wore a smile even now, finding cheer somewhere in her memory of them. "I think…they would be proud of me, were they alive today. At the very least, mother would be glad I haven't fallen victim to some radical new virus like she and father did."

Loki chuckled along with Sophia, but it was sympathetic, not humored. The waitress came and cleared away their dishes, and Loki propped her chin up on her hands, hoping to turn the mood.

"You haven't asked anything of me yet…" she offered.

Sophia drew a deep breath, considering her words, and Loki could almost see the anguish slither beneath her skin again. "Mmm… I'm not really one to pry. If there is something you would like to tell me, though, I am happy to hear it."

The goddess knew she was lying, but an announcement from the maitre D' prevented her from confronting her friend. Sophia waited for the man to stop speaking before looking to Loki for a translation.

"We are invited onto the deck to view the fireworks memorial, and are encouraged to take a glass of champagne along the way."

"That's kind of them. Shall we, then?"

They accepted the invitation, spirits as well, and Sophia snaked them expertly through the crowd to an empty place along the banister so they would have a clear view. The cool night air was refreshing, and they waited only a short time before the show began.

First, a rainbow of colors without designs lit the sky. As it burned and faded, the crowd gave a toast, and Loki followed Sophia's lead to join them. When the sky darkened again, the next round began, and Loki urged her companion to share a half-embrace, one arm of each around the others' shoulders. Themed patterns and colors danced, symbolic likenesses of the fallen Avengers and their allies. In a well-practiced intonation, Sophia named each one.

"Doctor Strange…Winter Soldier…Prince Loki-" The sound of her true name, especially from Sophia's lips, send shivers down her spine. The princess laid her head against Sophia's shoulder, and she responded by tightening her embrace. "Spider-Man…Scarlet Witch…King T'Challa…"

On and on the fireworks flew, above and beyond what either visiting woman could recognize. The natives knew what they meant, however. Many began to weep, others drained their flutes and absconded. One by one they filtered away until only Loki and her companion remained. Sophia sniffled, and Loki tightened her embrace in support.

"They aren't truly gone," she offered, and Sophia nodded as though to say she understood.

To her own horror, Loki considered revealing the truth then and there. The words came so close as to well in her chest, and she wanted to scream _"I yet live!" _so someone, anyone, would know Loki of Asgard still graced this universe. She swallowed the impulse and words down like the bile they were. Letting them free would ruin everything! Where had Loki's discipline gone? _'It is not the world I wish to know, but __Sophia__. Only her, at the very least her; but__…__why? How has such a thing come to matter to me?'_ Before Loki could be tempted again, Sophia spoke.

"I can't believe it's been a year…"

Loki made a questioning sound.

"Since I found you; it'll be a year tomorrow. I guess you were lucky. You could have wandered any which way, yet you came toward our cabin. I still can't figure out how you knew where to go. That forest is a maze."

Loki smiled. "A more superstitious person might call it 'fate'."

Sophia laughed, and Loki felt her sneak a soft kiss atop her head. Loki hid the resulting blush by leading Sophia back inside.

The bill awaited them on their table, which Sophia handled. A short drive later and they were delivered safely to their temporary homestead. Sophia could not seem to stop yawning, so Loki allowed her to ready for sleep first. While she waited, Loki collected one of the blankets they had used outside previously and spread it on the grass near the veranda steps. She was not yet ready to retire, even if her friend was. When she was able, Loki readied for bed as well, bade Sophia pleasant dreams, and went to lounge beneath the stars. Here, she allowed her mind to wander as the thrill of the evening slowly faded.

Where was Asgard now in that great expanse? Where were her people? What would her place be when she returned? Had Thor chosen to take the throne permanently? If not, who now was the ruler of Asgard? She reached out with her inner senses and felt the pulse of what would become her home. There was indeed magic here, and the tingling in her veins filled Loki with glee. Surely, this meant at least a few drops of her seidr were returning to her, at last! She could not form it at will yet, but it did not dampen her hopes.

'_The rest will come once I have settled here for a time, I'm sure of it,'_ she thought to herself, and she entertained ideas of all she would do with it until sleep claimed her.

_Loki's dreams were myriad and chaotic. Among them, a coherent vision; or was it a memory? Above and separate from his body, Loki watched._

_His body below floated on the currents of the cosmos, gliding down, down, down toward the roots of Yggdrasil__ where the river that led to Hel waited to carry him away__. The golden threads of fate tangled about him, __halting his descent. __They crossed and coiled, forming a web, and he twisted his body around to begin climbing. With each grasp and each step, glittering seidr dripped and gushed from his veins and fell to feed the World Tree. He could live again, but there would be a price…_

_He glanced __to each__ branching realm and found the splinters of where Asgard __once was__. Jotunheim was within __his __reach, as were Vanaheim and Alfheim if he so wished. He could live a relatively comfortable and normal life on __any of those__, but he was known__ unkindly__in each__. Loki could feel the malicious gaze of beings beyond comprehension searching for him__ still__; felt the cold grasp of Hel__ lapping__ at his heels__ and threatening to drag him down to that other world__. _

_Anywhere else, and he would be found... Life once more, but a half-life; was it worth all he had endured, all he would sacrifice, to breath__e__ the clean air once again?_

_The Son of Frigga chose his fate, and grasped the branch of Midgard. He screamed as __his magic was ripped away, root and twig, leaving no hollow behind. __He felt Frigga smiling upon him, felt her threads guiding him into th__e__ forest__ where he awoke__. She had seen, she had known, and now __the golden goddess__ willed him here. _

Loki snapped awake on her blanket, momentarily confused. Her clothes were damp and her skin chilled; how long had she been asleep? Slowly, the meaning of her dream-Memory? Vision?-sank in, and she felt suddenly brittle.

Her magic was full and truly gone, and it would never return…

She wrapped her arms around herself as she sat up, afraid her form would crumble without the support. She flexed her hands, heartbroken that she still felt the absence of seidr, but only because she had once known its sweet warmth. Whatever the tingling she felt before falling asleep had been, it was not her magic. She cast her gaze to the sky, searching for something, anything that might tell her she was mistaken. The stars seemed to judge her for attempting to circumvent the terms of her celestial accord.

_'Is this mother's doing, then?'_ she wondered. It would explain both of her dreams. She did not doubt the possibility despite the queen's deceased state. Loki knew Frigga had been much more than her mother and queen of Asgard. Frigga was a proper witch, a weaver and seer of fate itself, with power and magics beyond anything Loki had yet accomplished. She could cast visions to where and whenever she desired, and Frigga knew all that was to come when she chose to know.

"Did you look forward into my future?" Loki whispered, pleading though she knew there would be no answer. "Is that why I am here? Is that why Sophia found me? Frigga, mother, what did you see? What have you done? What did you see!?"

The stars above continued to glint in a silent, berating chorus. Loki could not escape this. Seidr had been Frigga's first gift to her daughter, and this new life in exchange was the last. What Loki made of it would be her choice, though, and she already knew the first thing she needed to do. She laughed wryly as she let everything slip from her grasp; Thor, Odin, Laufey, Asgard; even dear Frigga.

'_None of it matters anymore, __not now. I will find my own way__ as I always have. I will have to learn to live without magic.__' _

Loki of Midgard rose and gathered her blanket, finally retreating inside. She trembled not from the cold, but from the sensation of her reality once more shattering at her feet. She felt embryonic, anchor-less, and she shamelessly sought out the last remaining safety and comfort she knew. Mumbling something about the cold, Loki slid into Sophia's bed and folded into her welcoming arms. At long last, she allowed her tears to fall. She knew her friend would not question her if she noticed. Everyone wept on this day.

Sophia's alarm sounded in the morning, waking them both. After silencing it, she rose to leave the bed. Loki caught her by the wrist and held her fast before she could. While the sun had risen full and bright, to Loki the world was everdark in the shade of her mundane fate. She was not yet ready to face such a world, but neither could she bear solitude.

"What's wrong?" Sophia asked with a touch of concern.

"...I…" was all Loki could manage. How could she ever hope to explain, even in a twisted truth?

Sophia laid down again without another word, seeming to understand Loki's anguish. She held the once-goddess firm in wordless comfort, and tucked her head under her chin.

"I've got you, it's okay…Shhh…."

Loki, Lani, they were both the same in her mind at this point. Earth was Loki's home now, where she would spend the rest of her long years. Seidr would not atone her, for that was the price of her return to the realm of the living. Thor would not see or hear, and thus would not come to whisk her away to whatever Asgard had become; nor did she want him to now. She was powerless here, but she was also hidden, safe.

She was aware of Sophia's hand running along her back in soothing strokes only when it ceased, and her friend spoke softly.

"If we are going to make our appointment on time, we need to get up here soon. There are only two houses to look at today, so it shouldn't take long."

Loki unfolded slowly from her companion's embrace and rose to her feet to ready herself. She passed through the motions, nibbled a bit of breakfast, and forced a pleasant mask for the realtors. It was easy to find disqualifying details in both homes, and by lunch they were finished with the core purpose of this vacation trip. Over lunch, her companion finally spoke up concerning Loki's demeanor.

"You seem out of sorts today. Is… Is this normal for you on this day, or is something else going on?"

Loki nodded a bit. "It is a difficult day, as usual."

Sophia nodded in return, immediately granting Loki emotional distance. At her companion's suggestion, they spent their unexpected free time at the botanical gardens, admiring the significantly smaller, but still well-tended, foliage. Loki followed the path behind Sophia, hands clasped properly at the small of her back as she examined each bloom. It was a calming experience, and by the end of it Loki felt a touch more enthused about life.

"I overheard one of the families inside discussing the Viking Ship Museum. Cliche, I know, but perhaps there is time yet?" Loki asked.

Sophia checked her watch and frowned. "Unfortunately not. We have enough time to pack and relax a bit at the cabin before we need to be in bed. We have an early flight tomorrow, remember?"

_'Ah, yes, I must return to Seattle for a time.'_ So comfortable was she in Oslo that Loki had nearly forgotten she could not stay. With little fanfare, the ladies returned to their abode, packed, and settled in for bed.

"I'm sorry if this last day feels wasted," Sophia said as she pulled her blankets up.

Loki waved away her concern. "We accomplished what we came to do. I can explore what else interests me when I settle here."

Sophia went stiff, smiling against the sadness so clearly written in the rest of her form. She bade Loki 'good night' and settled on her side, back to her. It was a simple, meaningless gesture, but the once-goddess found it…uncomfortable. It spoke of a distance and disregard that put her on edge. She did her best to brush it from her mind as she, too, attempted to force slumber.

Two days later, Loki and Sophia were returned to their shared Seattle home and dragging about it in an attempt to adjust their waking times again.

They returned quickly to their routines, and Loki found her companion no less amenable than before. While the matters of materialism were seen to as always, Loki struggled with personal matters of the mind and heart. She gradually accepted fully that this realm was her permanent prison, but the thought that she would soon have to face it without Sophia disturbed her more and more.

It was not long before Loki of Midgard recognized that she could not face this new existence alone lest she go mad, but it would be months more before she realized and accepted with whom she wanted to spend her foreseeable years.

Sophia.


	14. Chapter 14

Following the Oslo trip, life at home returned to normal as much as was possible. In the back of my mind, I knew every hour she worked and dollar she made was hastening Lani's departure. I struggled, fought, and begged myself to be reasonable, but I could no longer ignore it. I was in love with Lani. I wanted her here with me, comfortable and happy, wrapped in my loving embrace each night and greeted each morning with her soft kisses.

It became more and more difficult to be around her, to hear her respond to my call each day when I returned home. In just a year and a few months she had become such a natural part of my life, gave my grind of an existence spark and a hint of meaning; and it was something I could not keep. I broke down in the parking lot of my office after work, sobbing into my steering wheel and asking it repeatedly why Lani couldn't just stay here with me. Of course, the inanimate circle of leather and circuitry gave no answer.

When I was finally able to drive home, I said nothing as I kicked off my shoes and headed for my room. Lani was on the couch watching a documentary and was startled when I came around the corner.

"Welcome home!" she offered.

All I could do was wave in acknowledgement and disappear into my room. I cried again as I washed my face, staying in my bathroom until I was composed. When I emerged, I could smell that Lani had begun preparing dinner. I sat in my customary seat at the dining table, but did not watch her today. Instead I crossed my arms on the table and leaned on them for support.

"Was your day especially taxing again?" she asked.

I bit my lip, doing my best to sound normal. "Something like that, yea. I can't seem to get the electrician to understand why we need as much wiring as the order called for. I don't know why they're arguing about it; more wire means longer hours means more pay."

"There is no pleasing some people," she consoled, setting a glass of juice on the table near me. A moment later, I felt her warm hand on my shoulder.

"Is something bothering you?" she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

I couldn't keep it inside any longer. I drew a deep breath to calm myself, not wanting to break into tears again, and replied evenly.

"I don't want you to leave."

I swallowed hard as her hand fell away, leaving a patch of cold behind. Without response, she returned to the kitchen and continued preparing dinner. I kept my eyes on the table, and on my food when it came. During the evening ritual on the couch, Lani kept her legs tucked close to herself, and I kept my eyes fixed on my laptop. There was an uncomfortable something between us for the rest of the night. When I could no longer stand it, I closed the computer, mumbled a 'good night' and went to hide in my blankets.

This was not the last occurrence. The following week, something similar happened, and again the week after that, then only a few days following that one. I was crying in front of her now, begging her not to go. I didn't give her reasons, knowing she already knew what they were. Lani knew she was my best friend, that I loved her, that she filled my life with happiness and comfort and meaning.

She followed me into my bedroom tonight and sat beside me. She said nothing, but her eyes spoke worlds. She was struggling, too. I grasped the sleeves of her pajamas and pulled her close. I wept wantonly into her shoulder, again begging her not to leave. She wrapped her arms around me in return. When my tears were spent and I was quiet, she finally spoke.

"Come with me."

I was certain I must have misheard her. Sniffling, I sat up and away to look at her.

"What?"

She smiled gently. "Come with me. I saw, you were as happy there as I was, and you took to at least one of the homes I found acceptable. Surely there is something Stark Industries can put you to work on in Oslo."

I frowned. "What…what about my family?"

"What more can you do? Your nieces are nearly out of school and have lives of their own; your cousin the same, and your aunt there is nothing you can do about or for. You know this, even as you go through the motions of standing at the ready to assist."

I sniffled again as it sank in. I really had nothing tying me to this place save for my sense of duty to my family and Lani. If I wanted, I could leave. I'd grown up here, though, so there was a sense of abandonment I felt at the thought of moving away, but… Lani… She spoke again, as though reading your mind.

"I want you with me, Sophia."

I met her eyes again. Not a single part of her was contrived. She placed a hand gently on my cheek, and I could hold myself back no longer. I pulled her close and pressed my lips to hers. The moment I waited for her to react was a moment of pure hell.

Then, she wrapped her arm around my neck and slid until she was sideways in my lap. I coiled my arms around her, crushing her against me. Her lips parted, and I immediately dominated her mouth. She made a pleased sound and leaned to push me back.

I growled. I would have none of that.

In a single motion, I slipped my free arm under her knees, twisted and pinned her beneath me. She blinked up at me for a moment, either unsure or surprised. It didn't matter which. Hunger lit in those green eyes, and her hands were in my hair, pulling me back down for a ravenous kiss.

I lost track of what was where as we each growled and clawed and shoved and pulled, hearts pounding as we tussled. Bright red ribbons appeared across our bodies, and I could restrain yourself no longer. I grasped the band of her pajama slacks and questioned her wordlessly. Her answer was equally wordless, but unmistakably agreeing.

I pulled.

My life became a romance novel.

I returned home every day, called to Lani, and she appeared to welcome me sweetly. On the days she worked and I was at home, it was I that responded to her call, drawing her close and showing her how I'd missed her. She slept in my bed now, tucked against my chest in a protective grasp. She seemed somehow freed. Lovemaking and other, smaller, shows of affection were exchanged more often; fingers trailing along shoulders as one of us passed the other, a quick kiss of the hair, a momentary linking of fingers. She never spoke the words themselves, but I could feel that Lani loved me as I loved her.

'_Every now and then, though, she feels so distant and contrived. There is a sadness to her like __a piece of her heart __is elsewhere…'_ I shook the doubt away. She loved me; witty, mischievous, dangerously beautiful Lani _loved_ me. Despite the fears, I chose to have faith in her. She had not in the past and did not now prove herself to be undeserving of it, so, I held to it tightly. Knowing Lani was at my side gave me strength and confidence, a spark of greater ambition, and a razor edge I'd never known I was capable of. Surely, these things would be impossible were she were at all insincere.

The months passed quickly in this way. My savings account recovered from the Norway trip and swelled to a sizable amount, and I had the all-important conversation with my family to let them know what I was planning. To my great surprise, they were encouraging. When I told them about Lani, they congratulated me for finally allowing myself to love again.

While I was financially track for an international move, I had yet to do anything about employment in Oslo. I'd kept your ear to the ground for any opportunity I could take advantage of, and eventually came up golden. The Stark Industries CEO would be visiting Seattle in a few weeks to inspect the finished building downtown I'd been working on. The news came on the day Lani and I had planned for our semi-regular date nights, and as we prepared, I shared my plan with her.

"When he shows, he'll want to see the blueprints and installation plans we used. That'll be my chance to catch his attention and bend his ear, or at the very least get a word in with his assistant."

Lani wore a twisted expression. "I've heard Stark can be disagreeable at the best of times. You will have better luck with that assistant, I think."

I chuckled. "Perhaps. I'll play the field as it comes, I suppose. What do you think; suit or dress tonight?"

Lani and I were both comfortable in either. She tossed her slacks on the bed and pressed against me as she reached to finger through my selection. "Wear this one for me, would you?" She pushed the other clothes aside to reveal her favorite crimson maxi dress. I was more than happy to oblige, especially since it complemented the elegant black-on-black suit and deep green tie she had chosen for tonight.

Lani helped with my fastenings, and I helped her with her tie, vest, and cuff links. We were both more than capable of dressing ourselves, but we each treasured these intimate moments, for they left behind the thrill of budding desire.

I drove, as usual, to the restaurant Lani had chosen. The staff there knew the two of us by now and greeted us by name. That was the last thing to go well, however.

"Ms. Jerman, Ms. Hall, welcome back! Your table is prepared, and the wine is breathing. Please, this way."

I offered my arm for the usual link, but tonight Lani strode ahead of me instead of at my side. It caught me off guard, but I maintained a pleasant countenance as I followed and settled into the chair the waiter pulled out for me. Lani was already in her seat, menu open.

"Is something on your mind?" I asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of my tone.

"No," she replied with a direct and final intonation that stung..

I chose to keep a smile for now. Perhaps she was nervous? No, she wasn't displaying her usual anxious tics. Had I said something to upset her? I knew her to be passive aggressive sometimes, even when her point of irritation was not myself. If that had been the case, however, I would have felt her displeasure long before we arrived at the restaurant. Something had happened between the car and the entrance; but what? I hid behind my menu, brow furrowed as I tried both to ignore and to puzzle out what was eating Lani.

* * *

The evening began like any other. Sophia came home and the women began polishing for their usual date. They bantered and jested, preened and smoothed at each other, and slipped into the vehicle to be on their way.

That was when Loki saw them; glimmering strands tangled between Sophia, herself, and someplace near the restaurant. How was she able to see the strands of fate; and why? Paranoia gripped Loki, and she grew suspicious of anything and anyone those strands were coiled anywhere near. She led the way to the table tonight, protectively watchful of anything amiss. She would permit nothing to harm herself or her paramour. Her eyes scrutinized the restaurant and its patrons, and she was passingly aware of Sophia asking if her mind was occupied. How could Loki explain such a thing to her? She was not like other mortals, so Loki was confident she could understand if the time was taken to explain, but where to even begin? Again, her name fell from Sophia's lips, concerned.

Loki flicked open her menu, wishing she could explain, wishing Sophia would understand. "No," she answered more sharply than she intended, but those threads floating and twisting had Loki on edge.

Every person, every interaction was suspect. So distracted was Loki that she failed to notice how her actions pained her companion. It wasn't until they were making their way back to the car to return home that the strands faded. Internally, Loki panicked. Why had they disappeared? Had the event they were tired to already transpired? Had it not been related to Loki and Sophia at all? For a moment, Loki breathed easily.

Sophia bit her lip as she ran her fingers along the key fob and unlocked the car. She didn't see the hooligan slip from the shadows as they opened their doors, but Loki did. She understood now. The strands had faded because the event was at hand. The aggressor was little more than a desperate street urchin, something Loki knew well how to handle. Practice overruled emotion, and she grinned as the bedraggled man clasped his hand over Sophia's mouth and pressed a knife to her throat.

"Purses and jewelry, on the ground, now!" He demanded.

"Oh dear, what do we have here?" Loki chuckled.

She strode leisurely around the vehicle and leaned on the driver's side of the car where the man held her paramour hostage. Sophia's eyes were fixed on Loki, seeking assurance, but Loki offered her none. If they were to escape this encounter safely, Loki could show no attachment, and she was confidant Sophia would understand that in the end.

"I'll cut her, I fucking swear I will!" The man pressed his knife harder against Sophia's throat, demanding their valuables once more, but Sophia made not a sound. She wouldn't let him know he had harmed her, that she was scared.

_"Well done__, my darling,'_ Loki thought with a hint of pride, '_H__old fast. I shall end this in a moment.'_

Loki slid her hands leisurely into her pockets, giving the man a mocking smirk. "Is it money you're after? I'm sorry to say our diamonds are but Swarovski crystals; hardly worth even pawning. Though if you're desperate, I'm sure you could sell this little tart to your friends by the hour. She does scream so sweetly…"

Doubt flickered in Sophia's eyes, but Loki ignored it. She had no choice.

"I'll kill her, I swear!" Sophia's eyes scrunched shut as red crept its way from the blade's edge and slid along her defined clavicle.

Loki laughed. "Well, get on with it, then. You'd be doing _me_ a favor." She felt her heart wrench as tears began falling from Sophia's eyes, but she convinced herself it was due to the twinge of the cut. Loki pushed off the car and crept closer. "Come now. You keep saying how you're going to hurt her, kill her. Be a man of your word for once in your life."

"S-Stay back!" The hooligan pulled Sophia behind him and thrust the knife out protectively, more concerned with Loki than his hostage now exactly as she knew she would be.

Loki grimaced audibly. "Can't do it, can you? Pathetic." She grinned broadly, pulling her hands from her pockets as she felt madness tickle through her veins. "I don't care what you have the gumption to do with her, but I would rather prefer the keys to the car. These shoes aren't especially comfortable, and I do have a ways to walk home."

Loki lifted a hand expectantly and the man hesitated. It was all that was needed. Loki's heart swelled with pride as Sophia seized her opportunity and slammed her head into the man's face. He released her to check his wound, and she quickly moved out of his reach. Something Loki could not name screamed through every fiber of her being and she lunged, grasping the miscreant by the throat, easily taking his legs from under him, and slamming him into the asphalt in a single, smooth motion. The sickening crack of his skull pleased her, and she stamped the heel of her finely polished shoe against the man's throat to hold him still.

"You never should have touched her…" Loki hissed. She flicked her wrist expectantly…but no dagger met her fingers. In her passion, she had forgotten she no longer held the power of magic, and thus her daggers were lost to her. Instead, she cracked her knuckles into a fist and shifted her full weight onto the man's throat to intimidate him further.

He struggled and gasped, clawing at Loki's slacks, and she smiled, relishing his suffering. This was his reward for daring to harm what was hers. One way or another she would send him to Hel for his sin; she had that power still, at least.

Fingers curled around her elbow and Loki snapped around, hand raised for a strike. It was Sophia… Black ran down from her eyes as her tears made her eyeliner run.

"Lani, please… Let's just go," she insisted, pulling Loki toward the car, but Loki could not ignore the crimson smeared around that splendid throat of hers, nor could she so easily forgive the one that had drawn it. Sophia tugged again, harder this time. "Lani. Please. Now."

There was that rare authority in her tone again, the one that belonged echoing from a golden throne…

Loki returned to reason, blinking down at the man under her foot. She canted her head, considering, and then released him.

"By her mercy alone, you live," she hissed.

She allowed Sophia to direct her to the vehicle, the two of them slipping inside, locking the doors, and tearing out of the parking lot. Sophia's knuckles were white as she drove them home, tears still flowing down her cheeks. Loki could only seethe, glowering at the darkness beyond the headlights. It was not that Sophia had been harmed which bothered her, but how she had grown to mean so much to Loki without her realizing.


	15. Chapter 15

Neither Loki nor Sophia spoke until she parked them in the driveway and turned the machine off.

Silence fell. Loki watched her lover's shoulders tremble with her silent tears even as she put on a brave face and climbed out of the car. Loki followed a moment later, every clack of Sophia's shoes like a serrated edge against her heart. Inside, Sophia sat on the edge of her bed, staring blankly ahead. Loki settled beside her a moment later, examining their feet. She could feel the disappointment, the fear. She reached for her lover's hand but was denied. Loki's heart wrenched again. There were two points of note this evening, and she knew which had shocked her stalwart paramour so thoroughly.

"Sophia… Please understand. My words were necessary, otherwise worse would have befallen you; or us."

Sophia's voice was empty. "Something you learned from your previous life, I assume?" She chuckled, deep and sardonic. "Something_ else _you can't tell me?"

Loki winced, the accusation cutting her deep, but she could not deny its accuracy. "…Yes..."

Sophia breathed deeply for a moment, then slipped a hand between them, and Loki grasped her wrist tightly. The once-princess narrowed her eyes at the floor, unable to meet the other woman's gaze, but still needing to explain. She couldn't-wouldn't-allow such a minor misunderstanding to rip from her the one thing she had come to depend on; the last thing she had in this life to value.

"The manner in which I reacted, it was the most efficient at that moment to ensure you remained uninjured and to bring the interaction to a favorable conclusion. The words were meaningless. They are still bitter on my tongue." Sophia did not respond, and Loki turned toward her just so. "Please, Sophia, _believe me_. He would have died before further harm could have come to you, I swear it."

Loki watched her hand lift to her throat, and she suddenly remembered that Sophia was wounded. Loki pressed her fingers to the shallow cut, again trying to will a power that no longer resided within her.

'_I forgot__…__ My seidr has is gone__…'_ Of course now when she desired to employ it for another, it was missing. How ironic.

She could not heal her paramour, so she rose and fetched the first aid kit, kneeling before Sophia and pleading with expression and touch to allow her to tend to her shallow wound. Lips trembling and posture as rigid as a noble, Sophia allowed Loki to clean and bandage her as the mortal had once done.

Loki kissed away the fresh tears, murmuring sweetnesses. Sophia finally broke, clutching Loki close as she wept away her fears. Loki stood tall and solid, cradling Sophia against her chest and burying her face in her hair.

"Forgive me, my love. It is alright now. You are safe here in my arms."

Loki murmured these things again and again. When Sophia eventually grew weary from her weeping, Loki laid her comfortably in their bed, curling around her protectively.

"Mine," she growled, grasping her lover as though fearing the Dokkalfar themselves would appear to steal her away. Loki smoothed Sophia's hair from her sleeping face, and ran her knuckles along her tear-stained cheeks. "Mine."

* * *

I woke to find Lani curled around me protectively, trapping me in her iron grip. My face itched from the tears and old make-up, and slowly the events of the previous night came back. I lifted a hand to find bandages where the man's blade had split my skin. At least Lani had been decent enough to tend to the wound.

I tried to sit up against Lani's arm, rousing her fitfully. When she saw all was well she relaxed and smiled. The expression didn't cheer me as it once had, and I pulled away when she reached to run her knuckles against my cheek. She frowned.

"What is it?"

"I need to bathe," I stated blandly, crawling off the bed carefully since I was still in my dress.

Usually, Lani and I were perfectly comfortable around each other in various states of undress, but I couldn't bear the thought of being so exposed around her this morning. Lani called after me, but I shook my head at her. My mind was still muddled, confusing my heart. I loved her, oh how I loved her, but last night was a slap in the face.

I found myself soaking in a hot bath instead of showering as I ran through what Lani had said last night. I tried to rationalize it all, to excuse her behavior, but I couldn't. I'd seen her be misleading before, but this had been different. I'd seen none of the tells that she'd been lying.

_'__I still don__'__t know who she really is, where she comes from, anything. I shouldn__'__t be upset when there are surprises, but, this is different. No one is naturally that callous and persuasive; it takes practice, and she__'__s had plenty, it seems. __…__Or__…__she meant every word__…'_

That last thought rang in my head. I drew my legs up and hid my face in my knees, unable to hold back the audible sobs. What if she _had _meant it all? Was her affection for me fabricated? Was she faking everything? That would mean every sweet word and act of kindness was meaningless, and she was playing me like a stage.

The water shifted as Lani slipped into the tub behind me, wrapping her strong, elegant arms around my shoulders. The feel of her made me forget my sense of vulnerability, and I grasped her forearm, seeking assurance.

"Why?" I sobbed, "Why did you say those things? Even if they were lies, how could you-" I shuddered and gasped for air, distraught. "How could you even think them enough to say them?!"

Lani ran her fingers along my arms and legs, letting me calm again before answering. Her voice was distant, like the one I'd heard from soldiers telling their war stories or people from the early Snap Day support groups.

"In the life I once lived, I had to be convincing with every word and action despite my personal feelings in order to survive. How I wish you knew, so you could understand; and yet I am glad you do not. I would not desire such a life for you."

I dug my fingers into her arm, trying to find something real under her skin. "Lani, who are you?" It was rhetorical, and Lani knew it. She reclined in the hot water and drew me to lay against her, head on her chest, her fingers in my hair. For once, she gave an answer.

"I am Lani Hall, your beloved. Does anything else matter?"

"That counts for nothing if I can't believe you."

Her arm around me tightened. "You know why I keep my secrets, I have explained already."

I scoffed. "To protect me, so you've said, but I wonder if it isn't instead to protect yourself." I pulled her arm away so I could sit up, twisting to face her. She was wearing an impassive expression, but I could see the anger in her eyes.

"You also said you couldn't face your family after whatever it was you did. I still don't know what that was. I don't mind not knowing who your family is, but I need a little confidence from you in return."

Lani sat up and sneered at me, whispering sharply. "You want I should pen you an autobiography? Should I include all the tantalizing details? My first love? My first folly? Every argument with my father?"

"What? No!" I shivered, realizing just how cold the water had gone. "Don't be ridiculous!"

"_What_, then, Sophia? What is it you want from me?"

Somehow, the water went even colder, my fingers turning blue, and I turned away to pull the plug and drain the tub. Lani stood and wrapped a towel around herself before stepping out. I remained sitting, watching the water swirl down the drain.

"I just want a little faith in return, Lani. I want to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you trust me as I do you, that I can depend on you. I need to know that this last year and a half hasn't all been a game…"

Lani said nothing as she left.

I managed to shower, dry, and dress without crying again. My head was pounding, so I took a couple of pain killers, filling my empty belly with all the water I had wept away. I found Lani seated imperiously at the kitchen table. The chair opposite her was pulled out and a mug of coffee was set next to a plate of toast, presumably for me. She didn't look up, but commanded me to sit with a gesture. I slipped into the chair and crossed my legs, wrapping my fingers around the cup to absorb its warmth.

Lani stared hard at me for a long time and I stared right back, sipping the coffee as I waited. Finally, she sighed heavily and looked away.

"It began twelve years ago…"

I listened intently as Lani explained.

"My brother and I have always fought, as siblings do, and where the family inheritance was concerned, it was no different."

"You have siblings?"

"Had, yes, a brother. We will call him 'Tait' for the purpose of telling a tale."

'_That name even sounds bitter; Lani must not care much for her brother,__'_I thought.

"Tait and I had a particularly violent row that day involving our father. To ease my own mind and allow things to calm more quickly, I went elsewhere for a time. When I returned, I found Tait had moved his girlfriend at the time into our home." Lani sneered. "Not so disagreeable in its own right, but she had recently stolen an item of great value. Tait knew this. In fact, his true intent was to shield her from discovery and repercussion behind our walls. This was not discovered for quite some time, either by ourselves or the people she had stolen from. When they did find out, Tait and I were away from home. We could do nothing when they came to recover what was theirs. Unfortunately, our mother had taken a liking to the woman, and so tried to protect her."

Lani licked her lips and rose gracefully to pace, hands clasped behind her.

I set my coffee on the table as I understood what Lani would not say. "She didn't make it out, did she; your mother?"

The lines on her face told of Lani's lingering heartache, and she paused to take a deep, calming breath before continuing.

"She was avenged, in the end, but the cost was great. In doing so, we attracted the attention of a rather influential man. He decided what my family possessed and was capable of should be his. We, of course, disagreed. As I reflect on those events, I see now that the years following were little more than Tait and I squabbling amongst ourselves in an attempt to gain father's favor. We cared little for the safety of our family then. That fact cost us our father as well, this time, by my failure."

She ran her fingers along the edge of the table as she passed by. "This would be the case once more when I attempted to assassinate our adversary. Tait succeeded in his own attempt, and in the resulting chaos, I…" She paused, searching for the word. "…I absconded."

Lani reclaimed her seat across from me and met my gaze. "To the best of my knowledge, I am presumed dead, and I prefer to keep it that way. In the end, you were correct: I am indeed running away."

Her face was pained, her shoulders tensed as though expecting me to yell at her. I sat for another moment, letting the weight of all she said settle. I saw none of her deceptive tells, but neither had I last night. What I did see that made me believe her was the war within herself that showed any time she was being painfully honest. I tapped my fingers against the table slowly as my words formed. Out of everything I now wanted to know, I had only one question that really mattered.

"Lani," I said pointedly, "are you from the _mafia_?"

She pursed her lips, and I understood her answer in the silence.

"Oh my god…" I set my elbows on the table and pressed my face into my hands, suddenly nauseous. "Oh my god, I'm dating a goddamned mafia princess… What will they do if they find you?"

She hesitated. "I do not know."

This was insane! But everything fell into place. It made too much sense now, and I knew I hadn't been crazy all this time! Lani flinched when I started to laugh. I laughed until I cried, then sat back to catch my breath.

"Are you quite alright, Sophia?"

I could only nod. My stomach and sides hurt from laughing, my head was pounding again from dehydration and crying. I thumbed my temple, hoping to stem some of the pressure and pain.

"Do you understand now? Why I- why we have to leave? Why I have hidden so much?"

I sighed. "Yes, and I believe you."

Relief washed over Lani, and she rose to embrace me where I sat so tightly that I thought she would crush me. I held her tight as she nuzzled my hair, sniffling. I didn't know how long the two of us remained like that, but our stomachs eventually demanded attention. We both chuckled when the mood broke, and Lani slipped back out of my arms.

"I'll make breakfast today," she said. She set a knuckle under my chin, tilting my face up for a soft kiss before stepping away. Not wanting to dampen her relief, I did not point out how she had already made me toast and coffee, which was breakfast enough.

I turned in the chair to watch her dance around the kitchen, my brain chewing through everything she had told me and what I now needed to do. If my beloved was avoiding the mafia, I knew it would be best if we moved sooner rather than later.

Ensuring my name was all over the installation project downtown turned out to be the best move I could have made. When the CEO of Stark Industries arrived for the inspection, _she_ was not what I had expected. Young, short, and spunky; and last I had heard, the CEO was a man. It filled me with pride and awe to watch a fellow woman dominate that rank. Despite her age, she was brilliant, and she quickly caught on that I was the driving force behind the efficiency of the project.

"I got a few other constructions I think you could make shine."

I laughed, deciding to take a gamble. "Anything in Norway, by chance?"

She smirked. "Yea, actually. We've been on it for a while, and now we need swiss army knives to bring it home; like you"

"I'm not sure I understand?"

"I looked at your skill set already; you got a bit of everything, and you're good at what you know. That's useful."

"…You're… you're serious, aren't you? You really think I would be good on the Norway project?"

She crossed her arms, and I finally took noticed of the soft glow at her sternum just under her shirt. "Do I look like I joke?" she sassed.

"N-no ma'am, I just wasn't expecting it! I'd be happy to get started whenever you like."

"That's what I like to hear! I'll have Happy shoot you the details."

I wasn't sure who this "Happy" was, but I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. "I look forward to it. Thank you, Ms. Williams."

It wasn't even dinnertime when I received the e-mail containing the information Ms. Williams promised, and I took the time to read it over while Lani cooked. There was a massive constructional undertaking Williams was gathering talent for somewhere between Bergen on the sea and Oslo. The foundation was complete, but they needed a variety of skill sets to complete the rest; electricians, infotech specialists, metallurgists, and chemists just to name a few. Stark would cover 75% of the relocation costs and provide an additional stipend for the first three months. I read and re-read the details to ensure I hadn't misunderstood.

Lani slid an arm around me when she came to read over my shoulder.

"Something interesting?" she asked.

I motioned at the e-mail and waited for her to read it through.

"This looks a little too good to be true, (y/n)," she cautioned.

I shook my head. "I'm not going to argue with the CEO of Stark Industries. If she want to pay for everything, so be it. Less strain on us."

Lani blinked. "'She'? I thought Tony Stark was CEO."

"He retired a bit ago, apparently, both as CEO and as Iron Man. Riri Williams took over both positions."

Lani was quiet for a moment before returning to the kitchen. "Interesting…"

There was a distance in her voice I couldn't quite place, almost as though she had known the Iron Man personally. It wasn't important, though, so I didn't ask. I understood now that Lani's secrets were secrets for a reason, and I trusted her to now keep only those that were necessary.


	16. Chapter 16

The following weeks were strained as we began packing for the move. I continued to work, bringing home the usual groceries and now packing supplies, and spent my evenings and weekends picking through my belongings and tucking them away. I took the opportunity to par down, finally getting rid of things I'd meant to toss out years ago and donating what I no longer wanted or needed.

Lani kept busy as well. I didn't question how she was able to afford and acquire a fully established new identity as Lani Hall, including all the required documentation. It was official now, though, Lani existed in more than just name and a questionable passport. She overcame her aversion to phones enough to take charge of selecting your new home and arranging for someone to secure inside the boxes we would send ahead of ourselves.

While it was a sensible plan, it ended up being problematic and causing a fair bit of tension. It was too easy to mistake which box was meant to stay a bit longer and which was ready to be mailed, whether they were taped shut or not. I was already on the edge of panic if I couldn't find something I needed, but now there was the uncertainty of if it was lost or just sent off.

"We can make do," Lani would try to calm me.

"That isn't the point, love. I keep losing track of stuff and it's driving me up a wall!"

"They're just things, Sophia. They can be replaced easily."

"Maybe, but they're _my_ things, and I'd like to keep the ones I can."

Lani sniggered and rolled her eyes. "Your attachment to material items has always bordered on maudlin, darling. They're just tools, nothing unique or irreplaceable."

"Like you would know," I snapped, but regretted it immediately when I saw her lips purse. She knew it was a stab at her previous lifestyle. "I'm sorry, that wasn't fair."

She turned away without a word and busied herself again with packing. I sighed and followed her, not wanting to let this fester as we sometimes did.

"Lani, dearest, I'm sorry. I know this is stressful for you, too. You just handle it differently."

She didn't respond to me, continuing to wrap delicate items in packing paper and tuck them into her box on the floor. I knelt behind her, running the back of a finger along her spine. She harrumphed and I tried again.

"La-ni-…" I sang her name and saw a corner of her lips perk up, even as she turned away again. I slid my arms around her waist, nuzzling into her neck and decorating it with tender kisses. "Forgive me?"

She gave an exaggerated sigh. "I suppose I have to. You'll starve if I don't feed you."

"I could always just eat you," I cooed in her ear, and I could feel the shiver run through her.

"Do not tease, darling."

"Alright, alright, I won't," I said, but nipped her shoulder lightly before pulling away to return to my own task.

Lani had other plans for me, twisting and lunging to pin me by my shoulders as gracefully as a panther.

"I said: Don't. Tease," she purred.

I grinned up at her, slipping my fingertips along her arms. "I'm not."

Whatever intentions either of us had for the rest of the evening were forgotten, and Lani took full advantage of my need to earn her absolution.

The cycle of argue-beseech-atone continued until Loki and Sophia left Seattle. Loki was no more pleased than before to be once again crammed into a rickety metal tube and flung across the ocean. She was glad, however, that this was the last time she would need to endure it. Additionally, Sophia had struck a deal with someone at the company before leaving concerning her vehicle. In exchange for donating hers for use in her home country, Stark would furnish her with one in Norway. This was the vehicle she loaded their baggage into and used to drive them to their new home.

Once they left the main roadway, the countryside took over quickly and gave the illusion of being further from the city than they were. Trees sprouted up around them, flanking other homesteads like the one they had chosen. Just beyond the tree line, it stood waiting for them. Sophia pulled them into the driveway and sighed with relief before stepping out to stretch.

"I don't know if I can get used to everything being reversed," she moaned, popping her back as Loki came around to stand beside her.

She slid an arm around her lover's hips, and they grinned as they stepped inside to take in their new home. Loki had specifically chosen this one for the space and location. It was removed enough to be peaceful, but not so far as to complicate Sophia's travelling for work. Multiple bedrooms and an open common area ensured they would not feel cramped as they had during their vacation and meant they could each have a private room for their personal designs. The rear sported a covered patio that gazed out over the verdant landscape with a clear view of the sky and a beaten path that led to a small lake nearby.

It was as close to perfect as Loki could manage without commissioning the design herself. She watched Sophia's reaction as she examined each detail, shifting boxes around and adjusting furniture here and there.

"It's even better than I thought it would be." She smiled at Loki, who beamed with pride.

"I knew you would like it," she shimmied into her lover's arms and set a kiss on her neck. "Welcome home."

Sophia did not have to report to her new manager for another three days, so she and Loki used that time to hastily arrange their personal items, toss up trinkets and decorations, and stock their pantry. They explored the area around their home, were introduced to their neighbors, and timed the walk along the gravel road to the nearest essential markets on the edge of town. They found a quaint little coffee shop and bakery and took a rest. As Loki sighed with pleasure, Sophia pushed around her pastry.

"I can hear your mind working, my dear," Loki prodded.

"You always can," she smiled, still hesitant.

Loki nudged her treat out of reach so she could no longer distract herself. "What is it?"

"It's a little embarrassing, but…I have a favor to ask of you," she mumbled, sheepish.

"And that would be?"

"Could…um… Would you mind teaching me Norwegian? I know a few words, but I'd like to be fluent if I can."

Loki blinked, then laughed. "That is your embarrassing request?"

"You don't have to laugh at me for it," she sniffed.

Loki shook her head. "I simply find it ridiculous that you would consider such a request in any way shameful." She nudged the pastry back within her darling's reach. "Det ville være en fornøyelse."

Sophia gave her a questioning look. "And that means…?"

"It means 'It would be my pleasure'."

For the first few months, you were assigned to report to the Oslo office for training and other such adjustments. Looking over the details of your new position, you were pleasantly surprised to find just how much your life had changed. '_If this is my new salary, stipend aside, Lani won't have to worry about working! She'll be so relieved._' Your new manager was similarly surprised when you were able to exchange morning pleasantries in the Norwegian Lani had taught you.

"I like you already," he chuckled in English with a heavy accent before passing you off to the human resources team.

The anecdote amused Lani when you told her over dinner, and she muttered something else in Norwegian in response.

"You can't use phrases you haven't taught me yet!" you protested.

She giggled. "How else will you learn?"

"The same way a child does? A bit at a time, in context, and with practice?" you offered.

Lani waved a hand, relenting. "Alright, alright, have it your way. I will be kind with you."

Something in the way she continued with her food told you she was going to be anything but. '_What have I signed up for?' _you cringed. For the following months, Lani drilled you relentlessly at home not only in polite conversation, but practical phrases. When you struggled, she patiently walked you through word by word, and you got the feeling she was enjoying your dependence on her for a change immensely.

All too soon, your indoctrination phase was over. Your comfortable routine was completely upended as your schedule changed to one of travel. You were going to spend one-to-two weeks at the site as needed, then return home for a work-free week. This disturbed you less than it did Lani, who did not at all fancy the idea of your being away for so long.

"If you would get a cellphone already, we could catch up easily every few days," you offered. "Besides, that'd be the easiest way to continue our language lessons."

Lani scrunched her nose at the idea and scoffed; then sighed. "Fine, but I refuse to participate in the superfluous ritual of the 'selfie'."

"Deal."

When Lani did finally decided, she had settled on a flip-style phone. She argued that its durability, concealability, and lack of extraneous features made it ideal. You couldn't argue her points and were just happy you were able to purchase and activate it before you left for your first stay at the work site. When it was time to leave, Lani bade you a loving 'farewell'.

"Ha en trygg tur, min kjaere," she said. "Have a safe trip, my dear."

"I'll be home before you know it."

She stood at the door as you slid into your car and made your way down the gravel road. You watched her wave once more in the rearview mirror before retreating inside, and you settled in for the 200 mile drive out to the Middle-of-Nowhere, Norway.

Loki glanced around her now empty home but was not saddened. Sophia would return soon enough, and in the meantime, Loki could relish a bit of freedom. While she greatly enjoyed Sophia's company, having her around nigh endlessly made Loki feel as though her life was being put to record. For the former Goddess of Mischief, it was not a comfortable sensation.

As the weather was agreeable, Loki shrugged into a coat, pocketed a bit of currency, and set out on the mile-and-a-half walk into town. As she followed the streets and sidewalks, she took note of crevices, corners, dead ends, and alley ways. A fence here meant a possible trap, a loose plank there meant an easy escape route. Her trickster mindset was returning.

'_It will not be as much fun without magic, but I'm sure I could still play a worthwhile ruse or two,'_ she thought jovially.

She pulled her coat more tightly around herself, finding a chill had crept into her skin. Odd for this time of year, but not unheard of; perhaps it was due to the breeze?

A familiar sound caught her attention further down the way, and she followed it to one of the many empty storefronts. Unlike the other shops, the building from which the sound was coming had no windows, only a door. Loki listened at it for a moment before trying the handle; unlocked. It squeaked as she eased it open, glancing around before stepping inside.

Whatever this place had been before, there was nothing left to indicate. Instead, colored tape had been laid down to draw a large square on the wood floor. Outside the square stood a small handful of people; inside there were two. The sound that had drawn Loki here came from the pair as they danced, foils whipping between them as each attempted to best the other.

'_This seems a place Fandral would have enjoyed,'_ she thought. Those not engaged spared Loki a glance, but she waited politely near the doorway until the fencers had completed their round. Panting, they removed their protective epee masks.

"Hello, there," one of them offered.

Loki nodded in return and approached. "I apologize for intruding, but I could not resist."

"Do you fence?" another asked.

Loki eyed the foils and smiled politely. "Only when necessary."

A foil was offered to her, and she was welcomed to take a turn within the square. '_I suppose a quick spar could do no harm,'_ she reasoned.

She shrugged out of her coat, claimed a foil and mask, and made herself ready. While the fencers decided amongst themselves who would step in with her, Loki reacquainted herself with the feel of this blade. It was a far cry from her preferred daggers, but she found the sensation of a weapon in hand again pleasing, nevertheless.

Her opponent presented themselves, and they exchanged the proper gestures before setting. While her mind could hardly recall the finer points of plying a foil or saber, decades of practice meant her body remembered the dance. Light as a feather on her toes, Loki effortlessly maneuvered around her opponent, parrying, feinting, and striking with ease. Her points were gained quickly enough, earning her victory and the admiration of this band of wayward swordsmen.

"You have skill," her opponent observed, gracefully accepting his defeat. "Perhaps you could teach us a thing or two, if you have the time."

Loki all but purred. "While I would be delighted to do so, you should not so easily dismiss your own skill."

So simple was it to charm these plebeians that Loki almost considered feeling guilty. …Almost… They invited her to return in a few days, when they would meet again, and Loki accepted. It was something she enjoyed that could fill the time when Sophia was away and once Loki had tired of her other interests.

On her trip home, Loki found herself beset by a neighbor's plea for assistance. She was an elderly woman who had lost her eldest daughter and youngest nephew in The Snap, whom usually assisted her in the planting, tending, and harvesting of her personal gardens and grove. While Loki wanted little more at that time than to return home and enjoy a hot bath, she knew all too well the utility of maintaining at the very least neutral relationships with one's neighbors. For this reason, she spared her attention and time for this woman.

With her strong back and deft hands, she plucked weeds and inspected blooms, eased water into the roots, and piled a few sacks of grain in a shed. By coincidence, Loki's patience was spent just as the woman ran out of chores with which to besiege her.

"I thank you, young lady. Feel free to come back any time. When the harvest arrives, I'll be glad to share the spoils," the hag said as Loki pleasantly excused herself.

'_While tedious, such a resource could be useful. I may have to suffer her requests in exchange,'_ Loki thought as she made her way home.

By the end of the first month, Loki was beginning to understand the Midgardian adage that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'. She had not been separated from Sophia for so long, and she was beginning to starkly note her absence. An all too familiar sensation returned to the once-princess of Asgard: loneliness.

When Sophia returned again, Loki was elated and hardly allowed the woman out of her sight during her week-long sabbath. To Loki's delight, Sophia appeared to have missed her equally as much and was not bothered by Loki's constant presence. It was childish and smacked of paranoia, but Loki knew there was little Sophia or any other mortal could do to truly harm her. As such, she permitted herself to revel uninhibited in the forlorn longing and euphoria of companionship and…dare she say it…unbridled and genuine love.

'_It is only for a few decades, anyway. There is no harm in this indulgence.'_

Even as Loki assuaged herself with this thought, knowing that Sophia would one day grow old and return to the dirt while she herself remained exactly as she was for centuries to come plagued her in the darkest recesses of her mind.

But there was nothing she could do…


	17. Chapter 17

Life fell into a happy rhythm between Loki and Sophia, despite her work schedule. Loki continued to attend the fencer's she'd stumbled across, became known fondly in town, and further endeared herself to the neighbors. Things were peaceful, predictable, and it made Loki nervous. She could not keep from wondering if and where a storm was brewing, waiting to descend. She couldn't have guessed that said storm would come from within herself.

Loki had been correct to think living in Norway would allow her power to regenerate, however it was not the power she desired. Instead of the seidr she no longer possessed, it was aspects of her Jotun origin which she had discovered years ago and immediately shunned. She felt its chill more often now but refused to acknowledge it. As the weeks passed it grew stronger until even Sophia took notice of its effects.

It was during one of her lover's weeks at home. They were lounged in the common room, Sophia drawing nameless shapes along Loki's back as she read aloud to her from a book in Norwegian. She slipped her hand under Loki's shirt to run her nails along her skin and paused, then pressed her hand fully against Loki's skin.

"Darling?" Loki at Sophia, whose brow was furrowed with concern.

She pressed her searing hot hand against Loki's skin in several places along her back, then her neck, cheek, and forehead.

"Lani, honey, you're freezing. Are you alright?"

In truth, Loki had not noticed the chill in her skin until it was contrasted by Sophia's heat and was quite comfortable.

"I am well."

She was not convinced. "Are you sure you aren't falling ill?"

"Kjaere, I assure you; I have never been healthier." Knowing she would not let it be, Loki fetched the wool throw from the arm of the couch, returned to Sophia, and spread it over the both. "Better?"

Sophia wrapped herself around Loki to share as much of her warmth as she could. "For now."

Still uneasy, Sophia returned to reading. She took a moment here and there through the rest of the week to test Loki's skin again, proclaiming there was no change.

"Have some soup or something, would you? Or take a hot bath. If your skin is this cold, I can only imagine your core is frigid; and if it's lasted for this long, you probably have a bug. You need to keep warm"

Loki rolled her eyes. "There is no need. I told you, I am fine."

Sophia pursed her lips just so, and Loki knew she would not yield. "Fine, I will soak; but you will prepare lunch in my stead."

Sophia nodded, and Loki went to make good on their agreement. She tied up her hair and eased into the steaming water once the tub was full. _'Such a silly little companion I have,'_ she thought with a smile, _'always fretting about this or that senseless things_.' In the corner of her mind, though, Loki knew it was not a senseless concern. She examined her hands, searching for any hint of a blue tinge or a darkening of her nails. _'Presuming this minor chill is indeed caused by my Jotun blood, is that blood strong enough to cause a change? It required the touch of another frost giant and the Casket of Ancient Winters to draw it out before… But at that time, I was still possessed of my seidr.'_

Loki slipped a dry foot into the water, expecting to relish its heat, but found it had gone tepid. She tensed._ 'It has not been long enough for the water to go cold…_' Examining her skin again, she found no indication that her appearance had changed. For how long would that hold true, though? Was it her magic that had contained the nature of her parentage? If so, then why was this coming through only now, nearly three years after its loss?

_'Perhaps…it is because they were not permitted to mature. Even creatures born of fire do not exhibit traits in their infant years; they must develop. Is this similar? Am…Am I…?'_

Loki pulled her knees up to her chest as the fear gripped her. If she was growing into her Jotun nature, it would not be long before she could no longer hide it from Sophia. Already she was exhibiting minor traits she could not control or conceal. Perhaps it was best if, for now, her beloved thought her indeed ill.

_'She is leaving again tomorrow afternoon. I can manage to fool her for that long.'_

Loki would not enjoy lying to Sophia, but she loathed the alternative more. She extracted herself from the frigid water, dried and dressed, and wrapped herself in a fluffy robe, clutching herself and she made her way to the kitchen looking worn. Sophia took a single glance at her, then clicked her tongue.

"I knew it… Oh, baby, I am so sorry if I brought this home from work." Loki let her kiss the top of her head. "If you want to go lay down, I can bring lunch in on a tray when it's ready."

"I think that would be best, thank you," Loki sounded a touch breathless to sell the ruse.

She shed the robe and laid up in their bed, focusing with all her might to subdue her inner chill before Sophia saw to her. This effort truly did exhaust her, and she did not need to pretend for her beloved when she arrived, as promised, with a tray of soup, bread, and cheese. She worried at her lip, smoothing and tucking the blankets around Loki in a way that reminded her of a mother bird.

"I am not yet dying, kjaere, you need not bother yourself so much."

Sophia pointed a butter knife at Loki in mock threat. "My beloved has fallen ill on the eve of my leaving for another two weeks. You don't have to enjoy it, but you will permit me to fuss over you for my own peace of mind," she commanded in her rare authoritative tone.

Loki could only laugh.

The following day, Sophia made a point to feed and set Loki up comfortably before leaving.

"Are you certain you wouldn't rather I stay home? I'm sure I could work something out for a few days…"

"Your concern is appreciated, but I am well capable of tending to my own affliction."

Sophia set a kiss on Loki's forehead. "Alright, I'll trust you. But call me if something changes."

"I will."

Loki listened from their bed as Sophia gathered her things, locked the door behind her, and made her way down the gravel drive. Once Loki was certain she was well and gone, she peeled herself from the bed and stretched. She had only two weeks to figure out what was becoming of her as well as how to handle whatever it was.

_'I do not think there is an external trigger,' _she considered, releasing her hold on the chill at her core. It gripped her tightly and reached out toward her limbs and neck, farther than she had felt it before. She set herself comfortably on the lounge chair in her personal room, laced her hands to rest along her waist, and focused.

Time flowed without notice.

She cast her mind inward, carefully feeling every dip and swell and crease of her body. Even without the aid of magic, she could all but see the creeping frost within that slithered from her very core. She tested, urging it to retreat, but it would not. She urged more insistently until it finally gave. The effort to contain it all was more than she anticipated, and she quickly exhausted herself. It was akin to her flexing some muscle she had not before used. When she was unable to continue, Loki relaxed that inner muscle, and the chill flooded through her, making her head light.

She took her time catching her breath and gathering her strength. When she was ready, she repeated the exercise to a similar end; and again, and again. _'There must be another way. Containing it fully is far too taxing.'_ It was well into the night when Loki rose from the lounge, stiff and weary to her bones. She would continue this tomorrow. She ate only enough to quiet her stomach before falling into her comfortable bed and giving in to slumber.

The following morning, she returned to her exercise. This time, she brought with her the digital thermometer Sophia kept with the first aid kit and a note pad. She recorded the results of each of her trials, finding correlation between how far she restrained her chill and the read out on the thermometer. Through trial and error over the following week, Loki found how far she could permit her chill to spread before her temperature fell low enough to be of concern. She practiced holding herself there, even as it continued to exhaust her. Sophia called and messaged to check in on her every couple of days, and Loki assured her she was taking care of herself and was not in danger. Not definitively a deception, but not an unmitigated truth, either.

_'I can weather this in the time Sophia is home, but it is not sustainable. I must find another way; else this monster will roam free.'_

* * *

Despite Lani's attempts to assuage me, it was impossible to not worry about her while I was gone. The moment I knew I could break away for my week off, I did. As had become custom, I called Lani before heading out. I grew more worried with each ring, but just as I thought she would not answer, the line picked up.

"Hallo, elskling, darling," came a tired satin voice.

I fell into Norwegian as best I could with her.

"You sound tired."

"I did not sleep as much as I should have."

"Are you still feeling unwell?"

"Not enough to be of concern."

I hummed, wondering what she was not telling me. "I'll be home in a few hours. Should I pick up anything?"

"No, darling, thank you. Do be safe."

"Alright, I'll see you soon then. I love you."

"And I you."

I hung up.

_'She sounded so weary… It truly must be something I brought home from work,_' you thought, feeling guilty. By the time you reached Oslo, you were still feeling responsible, and so stopped to pick up a bit of medicine and fresh oranges. Home at last, you left your suitcase in the car, wanting to look after Lani before yourself. You called to her, as usual, but there was no response. You padded through the house to find her slumped against the headboard of your bed, asleep.

_'She must have been trying to get up to meet me. My poor, sweet girl…'_

You set the shopping bag down and strode to her side, shaking her gently awake.

"Lani. Lani, honey, I'm home."

Her eyes cracked open with a soft groan, and she sat up to lean against you instead. You wrapped your arms around her and kissed her hair.

"What am I going to do with you, oh infirm one?" You teased.

"Worship me," she muttered into your shirt.

You laughed. "As if I don't already."

You bartered with her to set herself up on the couch for a while. While she refused the medicine, she accepted the fruit, and you let her work at the rinds herself while you changed the sheets, showered, and dressed again.

"I'll look after you while I'm home, but if you aren't feeling any better by the time I have to leave again, I want you to go see a doctor. I'm sure Karina down the way wouldn't mind taking you."

Lani made a face at you. "I will make do without the help of those blundering fools that pass for doctors, thank you."

You rolled your eyes. You were certain she would change her tune if she grew worse. Unfortunately, she did. Over the course of two days, Lani developed a fever, aches, and complained of severe fatigue. You made her as comfortable as you could in the bed, ensured she ate at least a little something to keep her strength, and read to her when she asked. Still, she tried your patience by refusing the medicine. You grew anxious when her fever did not break by your fifth day home. You put your foot down then, calling up that authoritative tone that seemed to be the only way to break through her obstinacy.

"Lani Hall, you_ will _take this medicine, or I will cart you off to the doctor myself, here and now."

She scowled at you like a petulant child but sat herself up long enough for you to administer the liquid. Either it knocked her out or she was too exhausted to stay awake, but she was asleep not long after. While she rested, you spent your time researching her symptoms and checking for any known outbreaks, seeing to your laundry, and slowly packing again. To your relief, her fever broke the next day. She didn't refuse the medicine this time but would not admit it had been of any help.

Your time off ran out, and you were forced again to leave Lani nested in the bed. She insisted she would be fine while you were away, and you made sure there was enough medicine to last her the two weeks. Until you left Oslo proper, you considered calling your manager and asking to stay home for a while longer. You had the time available and you were certain the team would be fine without you, but your respect for Lani's autonomy stayed your hand.

_'She said she'll be alright, that she wanted me to go. I have to trust her judgement.'_

* * *

The foul orange concoction Sophia had forced Loki to choke down helped not a whit. Releasing her chill from its prison, however, did. She cringed as it once more slithered through her veins, this time reaching all the way to her fingertips and toes. With the cold came another physical change. Loki could feel the rune-like designs rising along her skin. This signified inarguably what she was, and the recognition of that made her nauseous. She was a monster, as much so now on the outside as she had always been inside.

She knew without looking what her visage would be, and so avoided mirrors and other reflective surfaces in the following days while she remained in this form. If she did not attempt to restrain the chill, Loki did not fall ill. The revelation did little to comfort her, for she knew Sophia would eventually discover the truth. This she feared more than that of her true identity. Again, Loki was torn.

She continued to practice restraining her Jotun aspects in the time Sophia was away, trying her endurance to an extreme she had not before known. Her inner frost reached further and deeper each time it was released until it consumed her. Still, something innate to Loki refused it, and the effort to contain it once more continued to test her limits. The two weeks wherein Sophia was absent were gone before Loki realized. Again, she found herself being shaken gently awake by her paramour. There was more in her features this time than concern.

"Lani, darling, I love you, and I respect your stance on certain things, but if you are not recovered in three days, I am taking you to the doctor whether you like it or not."

The finality in her tone gave no room for rebuttal, and so Loki simply nodded. She expended every strength she knew to keep her nature hidden, to keep her inner winter contained. Her fever returned, her body pained her from head to toe, and each breath was near agony. Sophia remained by her side, again urging her to consume a variety of concoctions and remedies to ease her symptoms. It must have been the second day as Loki gave in to slumber again, for she could vaguely understand Sophia reminding her of her oath to whisk her off to a healer in the morning. Mindless, Loki nodded, focused on her struggle to maintain even the most fundamental of normal appearances. Sophia's voice was like a song as she read to Loki, the Princess of Midgard curled against and clinging to her. She allowed the waking world to slip from her grasp, and some floating inclination in her addled mind prayed she would not lose hold of her winter.

_The soft, dew-covered grass preserved Loki's footsteps as he ascended the slope. It was still dark, but the kiss of dawn was on the horizon. The Northern Lights danced, though it was not their season, and as Loki crested the hill, he knew immediately where he was. He strode toward the edge of the cliff, to the collection of large rocks that nearly formed a bench. He sat on the far right as he had many years ago and gazed out over the sea. _

_Kind hands rested on his shoulders. He knew without looking whose they were. He reached up and back to lay his own over them, and he nearly sobbed when he felt them firm in his grasp. _

_"You are so much more than you know, Loki," the golden queen said sadly "if only you would allow yourself to be…"_

_She slipped to settle beside him, poised as she always was in life. Loki averted his eyes; he did not deserve to look upon her, and he could not bear her disappointment. _

_His hands were blue._

_He recoiled instantly, but Frigga's hold was stronger. His face reflected in her eyes, and he watched his Jotun designs curl along his features. A hand released and traced the curves along his cheek and chin tenderly, lovingly. _

_"You have always only been half of yourself, my beautiful one."_

_"How can you call this form beautiful?" he spat in disgust._

_"Because it is, was, and always shall be you: Loki, my son."_

_Frigga cradled his hands in hers. Ice crystals sprouted along his palms. Loki sneered and tried to wipe them away, but she would not let him._

_"You cannot hide from yourself forever."_

_A soft non-dietetic beeping began to sound in the distance, growing sharper with every passing moment._

_Frigga rose as the first rays of light crept over the horizon. He let his icy hands lay in his lap as she tilted his sapphire face up to her and placed a gentle kiss on his brow before melting into the silvery dawn. _

_"You were born to be a king, Loki. Bear your crown with pride, grace, and wisdom." _

Loki heard the beeping coming from beside her, punctuating a melody she knew well. She groaned as she cracked her eyes open and squinted against the brightness of where she was. The melody stopped.

"Lani?" someone asked, daring to hope.

"Where…?" Was all she could manage.

Something fell to the floor and firm hands clasped around one of hers, warm and rough.

"Lani! Nurse! Nurse, she's awake!" A woman called in Norwegian.

The beeping quickened as Lani roused and opened her eyes. The light came from a long and tall window to her right, where the voice also originated, and the beeping sounded from a mortal contraption on her left. She barely understood the bustling around her as someone touched her face, peeled her eye open and shined a light in it, and something sharp was removed from the top of her hand.

"You gave us a scare, there, miss. How was Valhalla?" The chuckling voice was male.

Lani sat up slowly, ignoring their protests, and rubbed her eyes clear. From images she had seen in mortal media prior, she understood she was in a hospital room. Sophia sat at her bedside, bedraggled and eyes red. Loki answered the physician's questions and thanked them, and they stepped out to see to another task for her. Then, she narrowed her eyes at her lover as the woman bent to retrieve the book she had dropped.

"Why am I here?" she demanded.

Sophia gave Loki a heartbroken look. "Because I dozed off reading to you, and when I woke up, you were as cold as a corpse and wouldn't respond to me. I swear your skin turned blue."

Loki blinked, confused, but she had little time to sift through it all at present. As fresh tears welled in Sophia's weary eyes, Loki beckoned her onto the stiff bed and embraced her.

"I thought I had lost you…" Sophia wailed softly.

Having no words, Loki gripped her tighter, placing a soft kiss on her head before burying her nose in her hair. Despite her greatest effort to ignore them, Frigga's words continued to echo in her mind.


	18. Chapter 18

Loki was released after a few more hours and a handful of nonsensical tests. Her temperature had returned to an acceptable range, the chill within had faded, and she felt no threat of her appearance altering. This only served to concern her. '_It couldn't have simply disappeared; what happened? Where did it go? Will it flare of its own accord?'_ On the drive home, she continued to ponder as she watched the scenery pass by, one hand clasping Sophia's and the other tapping her nails along her lower lip.

"Promise me," Sophia said, "promise you are alright now; that I can get some sleep and not have to worry about waking up next to a corpse again?"

As she turned to look at Sophia, Loki caught sight of her reflection in the side mirror. Pale skin, dark hair, bright eyes, and gaunt. She realized now just how little she had fed herself in the past month.

"Baby?"

Loki gave Sophia's a hand a loving squeeze. "I believe I am fully recovered now, my dear, if you will forgive my grim appearance."

She chuckled. "Even if you had tusks, the skin of a pinecone, and were bubblegum pink, I would love you."

Loki shifted uncomfortably.

Gradually, their lives returned to normal and Loki came to a general understanding of her altered existence. Once she accepted the winter within, her ailments abated. It was no longer a matter of containment now, but control. She continued to practice while Sophia was away, and the golden queen's words continued to echo in Loki's mind. She knew that, eventually, she would be forced to face herself and reconcile her identity. It would be at her own pace, though.

Loki came to master allowing her inner frost to paint its designs across her skin and then tucking it away again. She spent increasing amounts of time sapphire and exposed, wrestling with the animosity so ingrained within. She decided it was in her better interest not to delay further. As the first snows of the season kissed the ground, she fixed herself in front of the dressing mirror in the bedroom. '_Frigga said there was beauty in this form. Let us see if there is any truth to that.' _The monumental task was instead a challenge now and Loki rose to it, closing her eyes and allowing herself to change. She drew a single calming breath and snapped her eyes open, forcing herself to confront the monster within.

Were it not for her clothing, Loki would not have recognized her own reflection. Bile rose in the back of her throat as her very psyche revolted against what she saw. She gazed as long as she could stand before tearing herself away, fists clenched, breath heaving against her rekindled rage. She was again on Jotunheim in the grasp of a frost giant; again, grasping the Casket of Ancient Winters and screaming maledictions at the Allfather. She forced her breathing to steady and her anger to pass. Slowly, she turned herself around and returned to the mirror.

Loki met her own gaze and searched desperately for anything at all recognizable in her scarlet eyes. She found nothing. '_There is no beauty here, only the face of the monster I have always been; the monster that I am.'_ And yet Frigga had known and loved her all the same. Even denied, the Allmother loved her son, her daughter, exactly as she was. Loki grasped her shoulders, holding herself steady against the emotions and thoughts she could not reconcile, and which threatened to tear her apart. Day after day Loki returned to the mirror to grapple. She memorized her unique Jotun designs, slowly recognized features she acknowledged as being hers, and carefully altered her self-image.

Then, one day, it all fit together. Loki harmonized her core truths, and she could look upon herself in either form with equal approval. A notion occurred to her. If she could shift form to and from Jotun at will, then perhaps her ability to change her shape had returned as well. She focused and strived, to no avail. She could not return to her princely form, nor take any other. The sensation was akin to pushing on the force field of her cell back on Asgard. Against the strength of Loki's will, whatever held her bound gave but did not break. Something she could not affect held her fast as Lani. It was a bitter pill that left her morose.

'_It was too much to hope for,' _she consoled herself. '_Besides, it matters not, either to myself or my beloved. To be as I am now is enough. **I **am enough.'_

As the snow piled high, Loki convinced herself to exercise the power she held. In the times where Sophia was away from home, she trekked to a secluded place in the wilds and experimented with the ice and snow. The skill came naturally to her, and in a matter of weeks she had learned to create and employ spikes, spears, pellets, crude blades, and barricades. She learned how to make the snow on the ground and in the air swirl and dance on a whim. A new arsenal was now at her disposal; no longer was Loki of Midgard mundane and insignificant! The realization thrilled her mightily and brought to mind the words Frigga had spoken in her dream. Nearly fourteen years after her failed assault on New York, Loki again considered the middle realm.

'_This power is not seidr, but it is useful in its own right,'_ she thought with a grin, spinning snowflakes between her fingers. _'It should be more than enough for what I would need, and the mortals' governments and armies are still weak and disorganized. It would be almost too easy!'_

'_What of Sophia?' _another voice whispered in the back of her mind.

Her initial thought was that Sophia would assist her. She was sharp, capable, and devoted to Loki; but could she convince Sophia to help her take this world and hold it in an iron grip? Loki frowned, the thrill of her power lessening. Loki knew Sophia would understand it was in the best interest of her kind to establish a central power to guide and provide for the scattered aimless masses, but Sophia's mortal principles would rebuke Loki's methods of control.

And, it would require Loki to expose what she was, for she would not rule in this guise...

She did not know how soon she could bear to reveal herself, and Sophia's limited years meant she would never see the glorious culmination of Loki's conquest. Loki could not condemn Sophia to live the rest of her life in warfare; but neither could Loki bring herself to consider abandoning her. In that moment, she hated Sophia. She hated how that woman had blighted Loki with her toxic sentiments, entrapped her in the brambles of intimacy and faith, how she had made Loki weak, turned her _soft._

But her enmity melted with a sigh in the face of her unconfessed penchant for Sophia. Loki could never tell her, of course. To speak those words was to swear an oath that she did not know if she could honor; and to break an oath meant... Loki shook her head. There was nothing for it. She could never tell Sophia she loved her, but she would remain at her side until she succumbed to her mortal nature. Surely, that would be proof enough in the end; and it would provide Loki ample time to perfect her newly matured abilities and solidify her plans to claim her throne.

Frigga was right: Loki _was_ born to rule, and by the gods, alone or no, she would.

* * *

Another week came to an end and I was dismissed to return home. This cycle wore me to the bone, but there was hope on the horizon. The urgency with which everyone had been made to work meant there were perhaps only two more months before this monster of a project was completed. Most of those involved in its construction would be retained to keep it in working order, including me. Thankfully, the same was true of the few co-workers I had befriended: Ingrid, Blake, and Clarice. It helped that the ladies and I shared sleeping quarters and had matching schedules. Ingrid had already stripped our beds of their hotel-style sheets by the time I arrived in the living quarters to begin packing.

"Thanks, Ingrid!" I chirped. In return, I pulled her suitcase from the storeroom along with mine.

We chatted lightly in Norwegian as we each counted through our items and packed them away, both of us more than ready for our time off back home.

"My son Bjorn wants to go hiking. I've seen more than enough of the country out here, but..." she shrugged.

"But how can you say 'no'," I laughed, finishing the phrase she invariably spoke each time we packed. "Are you going to bring him to Family Day next month?"

"Oh, yes, of course. He's been pestering me about my 'super-secret project' for almost a year now. What about you? Are you going to bring your friend? Lani, wasn't it?"

I nodded. "I plan on it. I think she would enjoy the trip, and you'd like her. She's actually the one that taught me Norwegian."

"Ah, that would be why it sounds so natural. I still wonder where you come up with some of your antiquated phrases, though."

We waved when Clarice skidded into the room, clearly in a hurry to be home as soon as possible...or at least, that was what I thought. The excitable pixie of a programmer strode right up to me, craning her neck to look me in the eye.

"You will ask her this week," she instructed in English.

Ingrid blinked between the two of us.

I replied to Clarice in English. "Ask who what?" Then it clicked. "Oh! You're talking about- Yeah, um...well..." I turned back to my packing to distract myself.

Clarice knew I was considering asking Lani to marry me. In fact, I'd been considering it for months now, and Clarice always heckled me for dragging my feet.

Ingrid's English was heavily accented. "Ask what of whom, Clarice? Sophia?"

I flushed, embarrassed. "I just- I mean, I was thinking about..." I sighed. "I want to ask Lani to marry me, but I don't know how or when, and I don't even have a ring-"

Clarice smacked me lightly on my arm to stop me. "Excuses! You need to buck up and just do it already. There's no way she'd say 'no' after almost five years together and an international move. Ingrid, tell her!"

Ingrid's lips pursed, but she spoke politely. "You should do what makes you happy, Sophia. I wish you luck."

I could tell the idea was making her uncomfortable, so changed the subject until she finished packing and left. Clarice all but pounced on me when she was gone.

"Seriously, Sophia, just do it. At the very least get a ring!"

"I actually have ideas about the ring, but I don't want to give the wrong impression..." I confessed.

At her insistence, I showed Clarice the test design for matching rings on my phone. It was a practical band design with three stones inset. Engraved on the inside would be the runes for love, luck, and loyalty. The only difference was the choice of stones. Mine had a diamond flanked by sapphires, and Lani's had an emerald flanked by topaz.

"It shows you put a lot of consideration into it. I think it'll give the impression you want." Clarice patted my arm, because she couldn't reach my shoulder.

I sighed. "I hope so..."

"Tell you what, if you _haven't_ asked her by Family Day, then _I will_. You _are _bringing her, right?"

Without giving me a chance to respond, she plucked up her pre-packed suitcase and all but skipped off to the parking lot. I frowned after her, unsure if she meant she would ask Lani on my behalf or... I shook my head. I'd spent too much time trading tricks with Lani. Though, I were curious to see how a mock proposal from Clarice to her would play out.

I made my way out to my car and waved at Blake from across the lot. I loaded up, strapped in, and dialed Lani on my hands-free as I began my journey.

"Hallo, kjaere."

The velvet of her voice soothed me. "Hey, baby, how are you?"

"Lonely. Karina refuses to speak to me unless I apologize," she mock-whined.

I smirked. "Lani, what did you do?"

"Nothing more than encourage her brother to finally tear down that rotting shed he despised. Apparently, she had other plans for it, who knew?"

"You knew, obviously. Damnit, Lani." I couldn't help laughing. "If you keep vexing the neighbors like that, they're eventually going to retaliate. Oh, but I'm sure the look on her face was priceless. I love you."

"I know."

I scoffed; and decided to test something. "Would it kill you to say you love me back?"

She chuckled. "It just might."

"Well, at least you would die happy."

"Yes, but I am not yet ready to pass. There is still much to be done."

I smiled. It wasn't the words themselves, but her language was affirming enough. This peculiarity of hers I accepted with all the rest, even when they angered me. They were each a part of her, my sweet Lani, my partner in crime. '_Clarice is right, I need to just get it over with.'_

"Fair enough, I suppose. Would you mind if we talked about something over dinner?"

"And what would that be?"

"I'll tell you tonight."

She hummed with intrigue. "This should be interesting. I await you eagerly."

"I'll see you soon. Love you."

"As I do you."

I spent the rest of the drive thinking through how I would ask her; what I would do if she accepted, what I would do if she declined. That thought dropped ice into my gut. Once I crossed that line and asked, there was no going back. If she said 'no', would it make things awkward? Would she pull away from me, or choose to leave? I chewed my lip. _'Don't think, just do it. Don't think, just do it!'_ That was my mantra until I arrived home a few hours later. I didn't realize how tense I'd been until I parked and tried to take my hands from the wheel. I had to all but pry my fingers off before snagging my suitcase from the back and heading inside.

"I'm home, Lani!" I called.

"Welcome home, love!" she called back from the kitchen.

I could smell she was in the middle of making dinner so let her be. A quick shower and change, then I set up at the kitchen table with my personal laptop. She came over long enough to slip her fingers tenderly along my jaw and place a lingering kiss on my tired lips. It was the memory of these fleeting moments of paradise that got me through work while I was away.

_'Just do it.'_ I subtly turned the computer so Lani couldn't see the screen. '_Don't chicken out, it's going to be alright.'_ I pulled up the web page for the ring designer I used to create the proof I had showed Clarice, wanting to see how one of my other ideas would look.

"How is your project coming along?" Lani asked.

"Rather well. I expect to be on this schedule for only another two months."

"That will be a relief, I'm sure."

"I'm looking forward to being home more."

I worked on the design until dinner was ready. I was still pleased with the original one, and that gave me a bit of confidence. I moved my laptop as Lani set the table before joining me.

"So, darling," she set her elbows against the table and rested her chin on her wrist looking right at me with that impish grin of hers, "What was it you wanted to discuss?"

My mouth went dry and I tried to swallow. "Oh, yes, right, um…" I took a sip of water, but it didn't help. I hesitated more, and Lani tilted her head just so in patient question. "I wanted to ask you something, actually."

"Yes?"

"I…" '_Shit, I've already screwed it up. I can't do this. Why? Why can't I do this?! Plan B.'_ "I was hoping you might be willing to come out to my work site next month. They're hosting a Family Day, and we are allowed to bring one or two members of our family to come see what has basically stolen two years of our lives."

"Oh? That does sound interesting. I would be glad to come."

I smiled. "Great!"

"What else?"

I blinked. "Hm?"

"There is else on your mind."

"No, that was it."

"Sophia, you know you cannot lie to me. I do not understand why you insist on trying."

I sighed. "There was something else, but I decided against it."

Lani narrowed her eyes just so with a soft hum. I could sense her desire to press me, but mercifully she did not. She looked away from me to enjoy her dinner, and I realized I had been grasping the sides of my chair. I worked the ache out of my hands under the table before starting in on my own plate, cursing cowardice with every bite.


	19. Chapter 19

As always, my week off ended all too soon. Back at the worksite, I sat on the edge of my bed, head in my hands as Clarice scolded me.

"I can't believe you choked," she shook her head again.

"I know, I know," I groaned, equally disappointed with myself.

She sat down next to me and pat my shoulder comfortingly. "Did you at least get a ring?"

I nodded. "Yes. I mean, I placed the order, does that count? I asked someone in Oslo that still does custom jewelry, and he accepted. It'll take a while for him to make them, so I figure I have until then to grow a spine."

Clarice made a face. "Sophia, you are one of the smartest, most decisive, and boldest people I know. If _you_ can't manage to ask _your_ lover to marry you, what hope is there for the rest of us?"

I laughed humorlessly. "I doubt they're trying to propose to a veritable goddess, but I take your meaning."

She giggled and just gazed at me, grinning. After a moment, it became uncomfortable and I cringed away.

"What?"

"You really love her, don't you?" Clarice beamed. "It's written all over you."

I picked at my nails, sheepish. "I don't know what I would do without her. I think that's why I couldn't ask. I'm afraid of what will happen if she says 'no'."

She laid an arm around my shoulders in a half hug. "It'll be alright."

Clarice continued to assure me for the rest of the week but seeing Lani again drained all my moxie. She continued to declare she was happy here with me, living this way, but I couldn't shake the feeling she was compromising. _'Will any of this ever truly be good enough for her? Am __**I**__ good enough?'_ Considering everything I'd done and risked for her, that thought stung. I shook my head viciously. No, Lani _loved me!_ She supported me, listened to and counselled me, heeded my advice and concerns. If she considered me at all beneath her, she would not have bothered; and if she was only using me as a means to get to Norway, she would have already left. I clung to this belief and sought out anything that proved it true.

'_If she would only say she loves me…'_

* * *

The weeks leading up to the fieldtrip to Sophia's worksite passed in their usual manner. Loki noticed, however, that her paramour began to act strangely in that time. Then, Loki came across a receipt from a local jeweler for an order she had neither seen nor heard Sophia discuss. The purchase item read only "custom order", giving no hint as to what it was. The glimmering strands of fate appeared once more and only for a moment, coiled around the bit of paper, Loki herself, and Sophia.

"Sophia, my love?" Loki showed her the receipt in question.

Sophia stiffened, taking it from Loki with a hasty smile. "It's nothing, just an old receipt."

She gave Sophia a knowing grin. "Would that be why it is pristine?"

Sophia cleared her throat and tucked it away, overcoming whatever moment of panic had gripped her, but she did not answer.

"Oh, come come, darling," Loki teased to hide her own uncertainty, "what is it for?"

Sophia just shook her head.

"You're going to make me guess, aren't you?" The other woman shrugged, and Loki chuckled, pacing a bit as she ventured, reading Sophia's answers in her physical tells. "Is it something for yourself? No. Is it something for me, then? …No? Is it a gift for…your aunt, perhaps? One of your nieces?"

Sophia gave not a clue, and Loki's false humor began to fade. "…Is it for someone else…?" Her lover shrugged. Loki licked her lips, trying once more. "Don't leave me wondering, pet. So large a purchase should be discussed, don't you agree?"

Sophia set a quick kiss on the tip of her nose. "If you were meant to know about it, I would have told you, now wouldn't I?"

Loki smiled again. "Oh, I see, it's a surprise." She leaned in, giving Sophia a knowing grin. "So, it _is_ for me."

Still, Sophia would not say and Loki sighed. "Fine, don't tell me. I suppose I'll just have to root around your jewelry box to find what it is."

"You do that. Could you toss me an apple, please?"

Loki furrowed her brow and plucked a fruit from the basket. Before delivering it, however, she took a passive aggressive bite.

"Wha- Really, Lani?" Sophia cried in mock anger, clearly under the impression Loki was being playful.

Loki sassed her with a glance, obfuscating the doubt that began creeping into her veins. Was it possible that in her time away Sophia had found another lover? It would only be natural and, for all Loki was concerned, acceptable. The Allmother and Allfather themselves kept several additional lovers to the end of their days for their own reasons. They both were aware of the others, of course, for that was only proper, and that was what sat ill with Loki: that Sophia felt she needed keep it secret. Perhaps she was ashamed, or perhaps she did not wish to anger Loki. Either way, she was being silly, and Loki would tell her as much. Sophia's peculiarities prevented Loki from saying so outright, and she gritted her teeth, knowing she would have to allow Sophia to broach the subject in her own time.

Loki not help her curiosity, though, knowing that she and Sophia would soon be off to the place that served as her second home. If she had another lover, they would be among the people there, and Loki was certain she would know them with a glance, for Sophia was the only mortal that might could fool her.

When the day came, Loki was struck by the working conditions her kjaere had endured for the past two-and-a-half years. It was no longer a wonder that she was so grateful to be home; the drive to the site alone was an exhausting three-and-a-half hours! The site itself was situated on a lonely plain at the end of a long, winding road through the mountains. Aside from the living quarters constructed separately from the primary building, there was nothing of civilization anywhere to be found. She imagined one would feel quite isolated after only a few days spent here, let alone how long Sophia had been made to stay.

"I believe in some places, conditions such as these qualify as torture," Loki observed before she climbed out of the car with Sophia.

Her companion giggled. "It felt that way at first, but I suppose one grows used to it. Besides, the work and company keep me well enough."

"Will I have a chance to meet this company of yours?" She fell into step beside Sophia and took her offered arm.

"You should, yes."

The broad concrete path leading to the entrance was sprinkled with other workers and their guests. Sophia greeted each as was appropriate, noting for Loki who and what their responsibilities were. The primary construction was unmistakably of a Stark design, not only for its walls of glass and highly polished metal edges, but for the company logo emblazoned above the entrance. Blurred memories flickered in the back of Loki's mind, and she held firmly to Sophia's arm. She knew beyond doubt she did not resemble her previous form enough to raise suspicion, and it was nigh impossible that Stark himself would be here, but she felt exposed and apprehensive nevertheless. Inside, they were momentarily detained by a bespoke security guard, who recorded Sophia's credentials, Loki's information as Lani Hall, and both were made to sign an agreement. Loki was provided a brightly colored badge and lanyard, which she cringed against being made to wear.

Formalities complete, Sophia swept Loki inside, and she could feel her paramour's own apprehension. Its cause, however, Loki could not yet pinpoint. The circular design of the building made for easy traversal of the halls, and they followed the wall counterclockwise at a leisurely pace. Sophia drew Loki's attention to various notable features and items on each level, modestly identifying how they related to her own contributions. Loki understood now. Sophia was attached to this monstrosity the way a sculptor was to their works, and she was seeking Loki's approval. She gave it where she was sincerely able but could not help verbally scrutinizing the many incomprehensible designs shown to her.

"This isn't like the office building back in downtown Seattle, unfortunately," Sophia bemoaned. "I know only the areas I've been given permission to work on."

"Am I allowed to see these areas?"

"I can't take you into them, but W.I.C.K.I.E. will show us."

Loki frowned. "W.I.C.K.I.E.?"

"That's the name of the A.I. here. I think her name comes from an old reference to lighthouses, or some such thing."

"Odd, considering this location is neither on nor near any bodies of water..."

Sophia took Loki into one of the rounded alcoves that lined the circular hallway and sat them in a pair of comfortable chairs. She raised a mounted arm from between the seats, securing the connected square of what appeared to be glass at the end, and pinching a corner. A feminine voice sounded from a speaker Loki could not locate.

"Fingerprint recognition positive. Good morning, Ms. Jerman. You did not come alone today, did you?"

She giggled. "No, I did not, W.I.C.K.I.E., could you please bring up construction blueprints at my access level? I'd like to show my guest what I've been working on."

"Of course, ma'am. Here they are. Also, Mr. Snyder has left a message for you. Would you like me to display that as well?"

"Is it work-related?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Then, I'll read it later. Thank you."

"You are welcome, ma'am."

Holograms almost indistinguishable from those Loki had known on Asgard rose from the square of glass between them, providing an interactive display of the building. Sophia swiped and gestured to manipulate it, pointing out which sections she had worked on, described how long they had taken, and the challenges inherit. Loki noticed a large hollow at the center, looking as though the building itself had been built around an enormous tear drop. She prodded at the hologram to focus on the empty space, examining the rounded bottom and raise circular platform at its center. The blueprint showed what looked to be the ports and fans of a ventilation system lining the angled walls and leading up to a mechanical iris that served as the ceiling.

"What is this?" Loki asked.

"We call it the courtyard. Everything feeds into it; the sensors, power, etc."

"What purpose does it serve?"

Sophia smiled. "That would be the question, wouldn't it?"

Loki hummed, understanding Sophia either did not know or could not say. "Could we see it?"

"If you want to, sure." Sophia gestured, and the hologram faded.

"Will that be all, ma'am?" the A.I. asked.

"For now, yes. Thank you, W.I.C.K.I.E."

"Of course. Please enjoy your time with your guest."

Sophia tucked the arm and glass neatly away, wrapped her arm with Loki's and led her off. A short elevator ride to the topmost level delivered them to a viewing area. Several other people were here as well, perhaps for a similar reason. The pair strode up to the glass, leaning for a better view. The ports and vents were closed, and every surface of the "courtyard" was construct of or lined with metal. From here, Loki could see notches on the platform, and directly across from it an extendable walkway. Clearly, items or people were meant to access the platform.

"What is the purpose of this?" she asked, and Sophia shrugged.

"As far as I understand, it's some kind of communication and transport system. The details are above my level, though."

Loki began to ask if Sophia had noticed the walkway as well when a masculine voice called form behind them.

"Hey, Sophia!"

Both women turned to look, and Sophia grinned.

"Hey, Blake! I thought you weren't coming today?" she commented.

In spite of her previous resolution concerning additional partners, Loki could not help the jealously that shot through her when the two embraced. She knew Sophia was fond of men and women equally; could this painfully common male be Sophia's secondary lover? No, surely not! He was a far cry from what Sophia deserved. Possessive, Loki moved gracefully to reclaim Sophia's arm.

The male glanced between them. "This must be the famous Lani." He offered his hand. "I'm Blake."

Loki eyed his hand, then him, then nodded politely. "A pleasure."

Her refusal caught him off guard, and Blake ran his palm against his leg to recover. His anxiety pleased Loki. She observed as he acquainted them with his sister, and Sophia was no more polite than Loki had come to expect. When she was introduced to the bubble of energy that was Clarice, Loki also added her to the list of suspected secret lovers. The drab one called Ingrid she disregarded. Sophia had far better taste than to consider that one.

The day wore on and Loki witnessed the depth of familiarity Sophia shared with her mundane cohorts. It should have comforted her to know Sophia had such friends, but it did not. It burned her. '_These commoners have for too long been blessed with nearly all Sophia's time and attentions. __**I **__should be the one so endowed; not be made to wait my turn like a child seeking permission!_'

For Sophia's sake, Loki contained her outrage, and her visit concluded without incident. As Sophia and the rest were expected to remain and complete their schedules, the company had provided transportation for the visitors. Before boarding, Loki drew Sophia away from the others, lacing her arms about her waist.

"How much longer must we be parted this way?" Loki asked.

"One more month; just two more trips."

"Do you promise?"

"I cannot promise I will not have to be away like this ever again, but I can say that it will not be nearly as often." Sophia tapped her knuckle under Loki's chin, encouraging her to meet her gaze, which she did. "I know it's been long and lonely, but it's almost over. Can you endure this for me a little longer?"

"Only because you've asked so prettily." Loki pressed her forehead to Sophia's and sighed. "You are mine, even now, aren't you?"

Sophia chuckled. "So long as you are mine, yes."

Loki tightened her embrace, wishing it would force out her apprehension and envy. It was only at Sophia's urging that she released.

"I have to go now, kjaere, I'm sorry," Sophia kissed her hair, then her lips, and saw her to the bus that would take her home.

They exchanged sweet farewells, Loki took a seat by the emergency exit, and they each watched as the other faded into the distance.

* * *

The weeks dragged on. At home, Lani exhibited an uncharacteristic insecurity, pestering me again about the jewelry order and reconfirming that I was still devoted. At work, the tedium was almost maddening. Every tiny detail was checked, recheck, and then checked again. Finally, my purported last day on site arrived.

Tony Stark and Riri Williams themselves had come to inspect the facility, and all we could do was wait for their approval or criticism. I resisted the urge to pace the length of the breakroom where Clarice, Blake, Ingrid, a handful of others and I awaited the news. Our shift lead had snuck off to find out whatever he could, but that had been three hours prior... I wrung my hands, Blake paged through a thin booklet of advanced chemical compounds, and Clarice muttered to herself as she swiped through a bit of her code at the hologram station with W.I.C.K.I.E.'s help. Ingrid sighed when her endless patience began wearing thin and hopped up from her seat, striding out of the room. Wherever she had intended to go was quickly forgotten and she hurried back inside.

"Domingo's coming back!" she declared, returning to the table where she had been sitting.

We all snapped to attention. A moment later, our shift lead swept in, beaming and arms spread wide.

"It's official; that's a wrap! WE'RE FINISHED!"

Clarice and Blake cheered, Ingrid sighed again with relief, and I nearly cried. At long last, it was over. Two-and-a-half years of toil, frustration, and separation were finally over!

"Does that mean we can go home now?" I asked, hopeful.

He shook his head. "Not just yet."

I slumped. "Then, when?"

He checked his watch, frowned, counted on his fingers, and frowned at his watch again. I knew what he was up to and bit my lip, waiting.

Clarice seemed like she would burst with anticipation. "WELL?!"

"Aaaaand NOW we can all go home! We'll see you back at the Oslo office in a week."

"You are such an asshole, Domingo," Blake grumped, rolling up his booklet and smacking Domingo's arm with it as he passed.

I shook my head at Domingo, smirking. As annoying as it had been, I had to admit it was also funny. Clarice, Ingrid, and I raced to see who could reach the living quarters first. Contrary to Clarice's declaration, it was a tie. We worked as a team to pack and arrange the room and its furniture as was expected of us, all but ran through the parking lot to our cars, and waved hearty farewells. It wasn't a last good-bye, since they would be at the Oslo office as well, but it was still bittersweet. I gave Lani the customary call and tested the horsepower of my car. Only three hours later I were home and drowning in her sweet embrace and kiss.

I couldn't tell which of us was happier for the project that brought us here to finally be complete. My week off at home passed in the usual leisurely way, and the high from my accomplishment made each tiny thing felt more significant. Lani's laugh was sweeter, the clack of our Tak pieces more satisfying, and the clinging of our bedsheets was a perfect cocoon. Lani pulled me to rest my head on her chest each night, sliding her fingers through my hair.

"Mine," she uttered possessively, wrapping herself tightly around me once again.

I nuzzled her reassuringly. The way she spoke filled me with confidence and hope, and I considered again asking her to marry me. _'I can't imagine that she would say "no", what am I hesitating for?'_ But the elation that made me brazen failed me, and my throat closed up whenever the words began forming on my tongue.

_'__Why can't I do this?!'_

I wanted to scream, wanted to find whatever was holding me back and tear it limb from limb! Lani's fingers began drawing nameless shapes across my back, soothing me. '_I could just tell her what the receipt is for; she'd catch on! That would be cheating, though… For something like this, I want to do it right. It has to be done properly.'_

I crushed my arm around her waist, fighting the need to cry away my frustration and self-loathing. My cherished Lani, ever perceptive, took note and shushed me sweetly.

"Peace, my love; I am here."


	20. Chapter 20

Having Sophia return home each day righted the sense of wrongness Loki had not realized she had been feeling. This was where she belonged, in Loki's arms dreaming peacefully, distracting their victims while Loki indulged in whatever mischief she fancied that day, and now eying a foil warily. Loki had borrowed a pair of them from one of her fencing partners and they had agreed to allow her access to the practice space alone with Sophia. Loki knew such a weapon was not Sophia's forte, and that she preferred practicing new skills in private.

"I still can't believe I agreed to this…" Sophia groaned.

"Follow my lead and you will do fine, my love," Loki assured her.

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright. I'm trusting you."

Loki began slow, ensuring Sophia developed her footwork and balance before branching into the novice movements. She took instruction well, and Loki was pleased to have a new activity to indulge in with her. It took only a few months of direction and practice for Sophia to begin dancing with the fencing group, though she did not improve much beyond that.

"I'm trying, Lani, I promise," she swore. "This just isn't my style…"

Loki tucked a knuckled under her chin, preventing her head from dipping with shame. "That you try is enough."

Still, Sophia scowled, disappointed with herself. "Would you mind if didn't fence with the group anymore? I think it's pretty clear I won't get any better, and I enjoy practicing with you more, anyway."

Loki made a face. "Do not consider yourself so meanly, kjaere."

She laughed. "Are you scolding me for it?"

"Actually, yes."

Sophia sighed and rubbed at her arm where she'd taken a wayward strike, and Loki knew it would leave a bruise. Loki coaxed Sophia's free hand into her own, leading them home. They paused at the hag's home, collecting a few fruits Loki had earned through assisting her. Glimmering strands crossed their path as they continued home, one wrapping each of them in a coil and connecting them. To Loki, it was an irrefutable sign all was how it should be. She felt Sophia begin to lag, and slowed with her until they stopped altogether.

"Love?" Loki prodded.

Sophia's face was pained as she met her gaze. "Lani, tell me true…"

Loki canted her head in question, apprehensive.

"Are you happy? With our life together? With me?"

Loki blinked, puzzled. "Where is this coming from?"

"Please, just answer me."

She licked her lips slowly, considering her words. "Sophia, dove, whatever has caused you to doubt I can assure you is erroneous."

"Then, tell me you love me."

Loki frowned, turning the conversation to avoid the topic entirely. "Tell me you are mine alone."

Sophia gave Loki a puzzled look. "Who is having erroneous doubts now?"

Loki sneered. "I was not blind to just how comfortable with those associates of yours. Considering how long you were housed together, am I irrational to wonder?"

Sophia sighed and took Loki's hand. "We are all friends, and nothing more. When you work closely with people for so long, tend to become akin family. At most, we might consider each other like siblings."

Loki pursed her lips.

"My heart lies only with you, Lani. It always has."

Sophia paused and drew Loki into an embrace, who returned it just as tightly. She sighed, accepting Sophia's words, and pleased she had averted her attention. '_Were it that I could speak those words to you, my dove…'_

They resumed their trek home, arms linked, and Loki smiled when she once more saw those glimmering threads appear. They slithered and weaved about leisurely, gradually entangling Loki, Sophia, their home, and all within. They danced all through dinner, and with only mortal sight Sophia was unwise to the cause of Loki's persistent smile. The way these threads of fate tangled and knotted spoke of permanence; was Loki perhaps being _too_ cautious? Was it possible there was a way she _could_ tell Sophia she loved her, a way to honor that oath to the end? At that thought, the strands glinted brighter, and Loki took it as confirmation. '_There is always a way to accomplish anything; one has only to be crafty enough to find it. This, I will find; somehow.'_

Her self-promise sent ripples through each strand. Puzzled, Loki watched them pull taut, the slack gathering around her, and then snap. Sophia, their home, their trappings, Loki was no longer connected to any of it. Puzzlement became confusion when the broken threads buried themselves under Loki's skin, gathering weightily in her chest. She pressed a hand to the spot, feeling for an indication of their effect or intent. Across the table, Sophia called to her, concerned. When she did not respond, Sophia took her hand.

"What's wrong?"

Loki crafted an assuring smile. "Nothing, eskling. Perhaps too much coffee today." She rubbed at the spot above her heart as though it was fluttering.

Loki's heart was, indeed, fluttering, but not for the reason Sophia now believed..

* * *

I noticed the way Lani seemed to weaken over the following days, and it brought to mind the unknown illness she'd contracted before that had nearly killed her. Her symptoms were different this time, though; only fatigue and shortness of breath to accompany the increasing weight in her chest. She relented almost immediately when I insisted she see a doctor, but they could find nothing wrong. Her lungs were clear, her blood pressure healthy, and so on.

"Perhaps all we can do is wait it out like before," I hesitantly suggested. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew of nothing else.

"I am inclined to agree," she replied, weary.

"I do wish you would stop catching the things we can't figure out. Why not the flu for once, or a day cold? You know, like a normal person."

She laughed weakly. "Pet, were I normal, I do not think you would love me near as much."

"You're probably right. Normal really isn't any fun at all."

Lani slept for most of the weekend, and by Sunday evening, she appeared markedly better. She even had the energy to make me breakfast before I left for the Oslo office Monday morning. Still, I fretted.

"Are you certain you're alright? You aren't going to stress yourself and fall ill again are you?"

She waggled a half-full bottle of medicine at me. "If necessary, I will medicate myself. I can survive a single day without you, I promise," she teased.

I hummed, playfully doubtful, but kissed her 'good-bye' all the same. At the office, very little was accomplished. Everyone was still ecstatic about the completion of the facility and waiting for responses to various queries to other divisions of the company. Clarice eyed me meaningfully, and I shook your head. No, I had not managed to propose to Lani. She just sighed, patting my back sympathetically. The day passed leisurely, only the formalities of being at work were followed, and it was over before I knew it. Lani's condition did not change. Tuesday was the same, as were Wednesday and Thursday. Friday, I stopped on my way home to pick up a few pastries from our favorite shop, much to her delight. It was not only to raise her spirits, but to lessen the disappointment of the bad news I brought.

"We've missed our usual coffee outing, so I thought I could bring at least part of it to you."

"You do realize you spoil me," she warned mockingly. "Whatever am I to do if you must away again for more than a day?"

"Well, considering that will be the case next week, I expect you to make like Sleeping Beauty and not die before I return."

She made a face at me. "So soon?"

"It's only for a couple of days. I'll be home Thursday, and Domingo says he'll find someone else to go in my stead next time."

She pouted and I offered a bit of apple tart. She eyed it, unimpressed, but accepted nonetheless. Monday came all too soon. Again, I made Lani promise to care for herself, and she agreed she would see the doctor if the need suddenly arose. I was almost resentful, having to return to the facility, but Stark signed my paycheck, so I loaded up and headed out.

When I arrived that afternoon, I checked in with my site lead and immediately set to work. My hope was that if I could complete the repair sooner than anticipated that they would allow me home sooner as well. Over the phone Tuesday evening, I complained to Clarice.

"I still can't believe they made me come out here again after only two weeks," I whined.

"Well, if everything you touched didn't turn to gold, they wouldn't give you a second thought. They also wouldn't pay you as much, so, you know, there's that."

"I suppose…" The message tone played from my phone. "Hang on."

I tapped at the screen to pull up the message and read it over. My stomach dropped. I read it over again, and a third time before returning to the conversation with Clarice.

"So… I was just notified that the rings I ordered are ready."

Clarice gasped with excitement. "It's about time! When are you going to ask her?"

My heart began to race. "I… I'm not sure-"

"_No! _You are _not _choking on this again! You're doing this the minute you get home! No more excuses, Sophia."

I drew a shaky breath. I knew she was right. "Alright. You're right. I'll do it….Friday."

"No, the _minute you get home_!"

I cringed. "Fine, fine. The minute I get home."

Our conversation wrapped up with more cheerful things, and I spent the rest of the afternoon and into the night in front of the bathroom mirror practicing every phrase I knew. Wednesday, I settled on one and focused on fine-tuning your intonation. '_Would you do me the honor of accepting my hand?'_ Over, and over, muttering while I worked. That night, I could barely sleep. It still didn't sound just right. I called Clarice. She laughed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's just so…old-fashioned?"

"Maybe, but that's sort of how we talk. I thought it appropriate."

"I guess as long as you do it, it doesn't matter what you say. Try it again."

I did, she cringed.

"You sound like a teenage boy who can't decide which octave he's in."

"I'm going to remember that one," I growled.

After an hour on the phone, I thought you had it down. I'd said the words so many times that they became little more than a jumble of sounds with no real meaning, but they sounded the way I wanted. I forced myself to sleep. I needed my energy for tomorrow.

* * *

The night Sophia left, Loki slept in fits. The weight in her chest began constricting, making it more difficult to breath. In the morning, she thought a hot bath would help, but she was gasping by the end of it in a ring of ice crystals. She couldn't remember how she managed to crawl out of the tub and into the bed. Her consciousness flitted from one thing to another as something wreaked havoc within. She was freezing; she was boiling; she was swooning; she was writhing in pain. She fought against whatever inside her was tightening like a steadily twisting wire, even knowing it could be she herself that snapped. She clawed at the sheets, bit and ripped at her pillow. In a moment of delirium, she wondered if this was how she would truly die.

Finally, it gave. The thing within that had drawn taut and twisted snapped with such force that Loki lost her hold on consciousness. Sweet oblivion cradled her aching mind, and she slept deeply in peace. When she woke many hours later, she was stiff and groggy. The weight and twisting in her chest was gone, and she drew her breaths free and deep. '_At least I do not think I am in a hospital again, this time,'_ she thought, grinning as she reached to rub at her eyes with her knuckles.

Something hard jabbed her brow.

She flinched and groaned, running her fingers to sooth the angry flesh. Perhaps she was in the hospital after all? She reached with her fingers instead, rubbing her eyes clear and finally opening them to see what had become of her.

In the late morning light, Loki stared in disbelief at the gloves and gauntlets strapped to his hands.

'…_What in the name of…?'_

He sat up cautiously, still staring at his hands. '_This is a dream. It must be. I am yet slumbering.' _He pressed his fingers against his chest and felt leather; to his shoulders and arms and felt his armor. Beneath him was gathered his evergreen cape. He untangled himself carefully from the blankets, drawing them back and staring at his leather trousers and boots, caked in the blood and grime and whatever else he had traipsed through to reach Thanos all those years ago. He ran his fingers along them, feeling the stretch of his longer limbs keenly. '_I am hallucinating. My mind is still addled from yet another nameless affliction. And yet… last time I-…' _Daring to hope, Loki threw himself from the bed and dashed to the dressing mirror.

Ragged, filthy, tall and lean; the God of Mischief appeared exactly as he had the day Asgard fell. He stepped closer, breathing lightly lest he shatter this illusion. He ran his fingers along his angular cheekbones and around his glittering green eyes, down along his jaw and over the swell of his larynx. This was no dream; Loki had returned to form.

He stepped back from the mirror, elation and confusion mixing.

'_What is this…? And how? I could not have willed this change, and there was no enchantment to dispel. I could not have cast one either, my seidr is-… Is… No; there…there is warmth…'_

His breath quickened and his heart fluttered. Could it be? Did…did he dare?

Loki raised a shaking hand, pressed his fingers together, and snapped. A swirl of golden seidr flared from his fingertips for a moment, then faded. His throat clenched, and he snapped again. Confusion dissolved, leaving behind only elation. He flicked his wrist, catching his dagger and the familiar kiss of its cold handle made him giddy. He guffawed. He pressed his thumb along the blade until he felt the promise of a cut then released. It was sharp, real; he was not dreaming, there was no illusion or other altered vision.

Loki was free.

As proof, he willed his form to change. He melted smoothly into the one known as Lani, and back again. A dark chuckle resounded from deep within. He willed it again, Jotun this time, then Lani with that sapphire skin, around and around and back to his princely shape. He threw his image around the room once, twice, thrice, turning to each with a broad grin. They grinned back at him. He laughed at them, and they laughed back at him in chorus.

He was free; Loki was FREE!

His illusions faded as a wicked grin split across his face and he threw his head back, howling with mad glee.

* * *

Thor Odinson, unwilling king of Asgard, sighed as he glanced again over the enormous map spread across the table of his war room. Around it were gathered his few Asgardian commanders, the Last Valkyrie Brynhildr, his Gatekeeper, and a recently returned Lady Sif. He fixed his eye upon each of them in turn as he spoke.

"I thank you all for your tireless efforts these past years. New Asgard is as safe as she can be, and her people are making due; but I fear I must ask too much of you." Each gave indication he had their rapt attention. "As has been mentioned previously by Lady Brynhildr and Lady Sif, we must find a way to claim the mountains that surround us, or find another homestead. Our resources are dwindling, and our defenses less than ideal. When winter comes, the creatures beyond the mountains will look again to us as prey. Each time they come, we lose more brave souls. This cannot continue."

Sif saluted, and Thor nodded to grant her permission to speak. "My king, cannot we appeal another realm for aide? Alfheim, or Vanaheim?"

"They suffer as we do, as does all the cosmos…" A distance entered his eyes for a moment, but he forced it away and cleared his throat. "We cannot burden them further. We are Asgard, we will find a way."

Sif dropped her gaze, and Brynhildr regarded her empathetically. The Valkyrie spoke.

"I'll take another flight over the range to see if there is a way to barricade the entrance to the valley again. We have more supplies this year from the last band of marauders that came through. I could use another set of eyes, though."

Thor nodded. "Lady Sif, would you assist our Valkyrie?"

Sif agreed dutifully, and the two warriors departed. Thor assigned the rest of his commanders to their usual duties, then made his way to the Bifrost with his Gatekeeper. In spite of having no relation, the young man was similar to Heimdall in nearly every way, save for his eyes. These were a pale blue, near white. Thor clapped him on the shoulder as they made the short trip across the bridge to the observatory.

"Thank you again for agreeing to this, Tyr. Without you, we could not have rebuilt the bridge, and we would be blind to all but ourselves."

"It is my honor and pleasure to serve the Allfather. I regret only that Heimdall could not pass the duty on to me himself."

Thor chuckled. "I am not the Allfather yet, but your confidence is appreciated. Did you ever have the chance to know our good Guardian?"

Tyr shook his head and lifted the pendant he wore. "Only by his reputation and the wisdom he left behind in this. I am not gifted as he was, but the Eye of Heimdall allows me to see well enough."

"He would be honored for you to carry it."

They stepped into the small domed platform, and Tyr aligned the portholes for the routine inspection of the realms. Thor placed his hand on Tyr's shoulder, and Tyr clasped his pendant. His eyes shimmered with the power of his predecessor, reflecting entire galaxies, and he focused on each until Thor was satisfied with what he saw. When they were finished, he lingered on Midgard.

"Your majesty, before you go, I think there is something, or rather someone, you should see here."

Thor sighed. "If it is Jane Foster…"

"It is not." Tyr assured him, then refocused his gaze.

The Gatekeeper's sight honed in across the stars, over oceans and green expanse, and paused on the interior of a modest Midgardian home. A tall, slender man in green leather and dark hair lounged across a couch as he toyed with a small implement made of ice.

Thor went cold. He was silent for a moment, torn between relief, disbelief, exasperation, and anger. "When did you first notice this man, and how?"

"Yesterday, your majesty, as I gazed upon that system. I caught a glint of seidr being used and tracked it to Midgard. That power is not native to that realm, and I know of no wielders that could be there."

"I see. Have you found anyone else like this, people out of place?" Hope tinged with guilt welled within the king.

"I have not, though I should mention this man has taken other forms. That of a female quite similar in appearance and…" Tyr trailed off nervously.

"And?" Thor urged.

"That of a Jotun." Tyr was not himself acquainted with Prince Loki, but one could not mistake the marriage of seidr and shape changing; and Tyr was one of the precious few aware of Loki's true parentage. "I apologize for not noticing him sooner, my liege. I cannot tell you for how long he has been there, only that he appears quite comfortable."

Thor clenched his jaw. "I doubt it was by your failing, my friend. Tell no one of this, and prepare the Bifrost. I leave today for Midgard."


	21. Chapter 21

With his larger hands, Loki fumbled slightly with the cell phone Sophia insisted he keep. He had lost himself in his revelry and missed the customary call from his paramour. She had left a message for him, apologizing that she would be home about an hour late that day. He checked the clocked and gauged his remaining time. There was more than enough left for him to enjoy this form a while longer, so he plucked a cube of ice from the tray, stretched along the couch, and began shaping it at whim. He allowed his magic to flow freely, altering the room and flexing a few of his more subtle tricks.

For a moment, he considered whether or not he would use such magic on Sophia. He did not foresee a need to, but there would always be a possibility. Anyone else and he would not hesitate; he had even used harmless ones on his mother when they were practicing. If it were any other human, any other creature… He waved a hand to dissolve his spells and sighed. No, he would not deceive her more than he already had; she who accepted, who loved, who _understood_. Neither would he reveal himself to her, not for a while longer, at least. Once he discovered the way he could ensure his ability to honor the oath he wanted to swear, he would tell her, and she could decide.

He glanced again at the clock. There was enough left time for a quick jaunt to the hag's home. Hopefully, there would be onions and carrots left he could obtain for dinner. Loki shifted to Lani, threw on her coat, and all but danced as she made her way. She quite enjoyed these little trips along the gravel road and through the split in the trees. When she arrived, she found several of the neighbors gathered at the hag's home, celebrating the news of a number of recent births. She politely joined their toast, understanding the significance of the event. For the mortals, each new child represented one step closer to normalcy. When she was able to without offending, Loki gathered her intended foods and was on her way.

The walk home was peaceful as always, but Loki's jubilance was broken when the house came into view. Standing at the front door, knocking, was a man she did not immediately recognize. As she drew closer, she was able to make out details. He was of equal stature to Loki's original form, with moderate length blond hair pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. He wore a hoodie and coat, and his jeans and boots looked as though he'd trenched through a river recently. The man waited patiently, hands in the pockets of his jacket, then knocked again, a bit more firmly than before. He was somehow…familiar…

Loki swallowed, hard, suspecting who he was, but hoping she was mistaken. Surely, it could not be. The crunch of gravel under her feet drew the man's attention. He turned to watch her with a bright blue eye, the other covered by an eyepatch. He smiled broadly, attempting something cheerful. Her heart stopped; she knew that face, that dopey grin.

'_Brother. Why? Why are you here?'_

"Good afternoon, miss," Thor greeted Loki cheerily as she paused at a wary distance, "I'm sorry to disturb you, but is your husband at home? I'm having some difficulty with my boat, you see, and would appreciate a hand pulling it out of the lake." He pulled at his jeans to show off the water stains.

Loki hardly had to pretend; her aversion to his presence easily showed as suspicion. She scrutinized him head to foot, drawing her bag of vegetables up into her arms protectively, and she ensured her Norwegian held not a whit of Old Asgardian.

She edged slowly toward the house and Thor stepped out of the way, circling at a polite distance. "The Larsen's are closer, over the hill off the northern shore. You may want to ask them instead."

"I will, thank you. Could I perhaps bother you for a glass of water before I go? Finding my way here was a bit of a hike."

Loki avoided eye contact but could still see that goofy smile spread across the towering god's face, his hands clasped leisurely in front of him. She nodded and bade him wait outside as she slipped in and closed the door firmly. '_Why? Why is he here, and why now?! This will not do. I must be rid of him. If he discovers me- But how would he? No, he must suspect, at least. There are homes far closer and in plain sight of the lake; he came here directly and for a purpose. Damn him to Hel!'_

Loki cursed herself for having nothing to slip into his drink, knowing there was nothing else she could do without giving herself away. She gritted her teeth, poured the water, hoped against hope, and slipped it through a gap in the door just large enough to permit. Thor came forward and took it with a grateful nod. He watched her pointedly through the gap as he gulped it down and gave a satisfied sigh. "Thank you."

As he handed the glass back and Loki moved to take it, Thor caught her by the forearm. Loki froze, terror spreading across her face, but Thor didn't seem to notice or care. A knowing smile touched his features, and the momentary flicker of tender fraternity in his eyes was quickly replaced by confidant insistence.

"Why don't you invite me in, 'miss'? I think there is much we should discuss." There was a knowing in his tone.

Loki pulled on her arm. "What? No! Let go!"

Thor growled, low and quiet. "Not until I see your face."

"You've see my face, sir, now let go!" Loki pulled harder, but not with her full strength.

Thor stepped and forced the door open, maintaining his grasp on Loki's arm and shutting it behind him.

"Lift your magic," he commanded.

"What are you talking about? Get out of my house!" Loki yelled, fearful and frantic.

Thor set the glass on a nearby surface. "You can no longer fool me, Loki. I see through you."

Loki wrenched with all her might, freeing herself from Thor's grasp. "You're mad!"

Thor lost patience and grabbed her again by the arms, nearly roaring. "You have hidden yourself away long enough!" Tears welled in that blue eye, and his voice trembled. "I would see the face of my brother again with my own eyes…"

Loki was certain now. Thor had a means of detection she was unaware of; there was no other way he could have known. Her game was up. Once Thor caught her trail, Loki knew she could not escape.

"Your own _eye_, you mean." Loki pointedly corrected.

Calm and quiet, she stepped back out of Thor's grasp, glowering at him. He let her go, holding his breath with anticipation. With a sigh, Loki shifted, smirked, and held out his hands in presentation of himself. Thor's face drained of color as though seeing a ghost. His eyes flicked over every detail of Loki's appearance, and his lip began to tremble. He tried to speak, but the words died in his throat. He grasped Loki's shoulder in a brotherly manner, tears streaming down his cheek.

"How?" he finally choked out. "I saw- I saw him-" He shuddered a breath.

Loki neither smiled nor scowled, looking anywhere but his brother's face. He couldn't bear the pain there.

"I know not, and yet, here I stand."

Thor sniffed and pulled him into a tight embrace, sobbing quietly. Loki hesitantly returned it, patiently waiting for him to regain his composure.

"So much has happened, brother; so many things we must discuss." Thor finally said, and he held him again at arm's length. "I cannot wait to show you New Asgard."

Loki frowned, and slowly shook his head as he pulled away again. He could tell this would not end pleasantly. "No, brother."

"What? Why not?"

"Do you really think our people will welcome me back as easily as you waltzing me in?"

"Of course, they will! Besides, we need your help."

Loki sniggered. "Me? My help?"

"Yes," Thor insisted. "Surely you are aware of what Thanos did after you…" He could not bring himself to say it, so continued instead. "Do you think Midgard was the only realm affected? We must finish rebuilding our home, secure our people and the rest of the Nine."

Loki caught sight of the digital clock in the kitchen and panicked. More time had passed than he realized.

"Perhaps we can do so tomorrow-"

"There is little time we can afford to waste," Thor again insisted.

"I promise you, it is not time wasted. There are things I must see to this afternoon and evening, and you cannot be present."

"If it is a matter of my appearance, you can simply-"

"It is more than that, but I cannot explain right now. You need to leave." Loki attempted to push Thor toward the front door.

"I will go nowhere without you, not when I have only just found you alive!" Thor stood his ground, quickly reminding his brother who was stronger.

"I will not flee from you, I swear it, but you _must _go. For now."

Thor allowed himself to be moved. "Tell me why."

"_Because you cannot be seen here!"_ Loki hissed. "You will ruin everything!" He had nearly opened the front door to force Thor outside when he heard the closing of a car door. How had he missed hearing it come up the drive?!

"Who is that?" Thor reached to peek outside the blinds, but Loki snatched his hand away, grabbed him by the front of his hoodie, and dragged him into a rarely used corner. He raised a stern finger as though scolding a child.

"Just. Stand there. Quietly. Until I say otherwise."

Thor's expression was that of puzzlement as the illusion rose to hide the man that stood nearly to the ceiling. Loki quickly shifted to Lani and began pulling the vegetables she had fetched from the neighbors from their sack. She had the kitchen set to prepare to cook the time Sophia came in, suitcase trailing behind her.

"I'm home, Lani!" she called, fatigued from the road.

Loki threw a steely look at Thor's corner before going to meet her.

* * *

Today was the day. Today I would ask Lani to marry me.

The drive home felt like an eternity. I was white-knuckled, bouncing my free leg and again practicing my words. _'Lani Hall, would you do me the honor of accepting my hand?' __I_ did my best to keep calm, running through the plans I had devised for either outcome. I was ready; it was going to be alright. For a moment, my mind ran away with me. The reason the rings had taken so long was an additional detail I had added to Lani's emerald. On the top, delicately etched, was a glyph of protection that could be seen when held to the light. I could already see her smile, knowing she would love it…that was, if she accepted me…

I both anticipated and dreaded pulling into the driveway, and when I did, I stopped to take a few calming breaths. '_This is it… No going back. No choking this time.' __I_ snagged my suitcase, stuffed the ring boxes in an exterior pocket, and headed inside.

"I'm home, Lani!" I called, kicking your shoes off. She came to greet me as usual, but there was something stiff about her in my arms, almost flustered. "Love, is everything alright? Are you still feeling unwell?"

"You startled me is all, I was about to begin chopping." She rubbed her hands nervously.

I laughed an apology and she forgave me with a kiss. "I'm going to shower and unpack. Is there anything you'd like to do tonight?"

"I thought you would want to relax?"

"I wouldn't mind going for a coffee after dinner. It's still early enough, our shop will be open."

"That sounds wonderful."

I threw my suitcase on the bed and gutted it with practiced precision, hiding the rings in my bedside. I took my time showering and grooming, wanting to look my best. Usually, I let my hair dry on its own, but today I gave it a bit of a style, even ran a little product through it before picking out my best slacks, a blouse, and blazer. Perhaps a bit much for coffee, but, it gave me confidence, and I needed more of that right now. Just thinking about it all made my throat close up and my stomach twist with anxiety.

'_It's going to be alright' __I_ insisted into the mirror, breathing deeply. '_Either way, it will all be fine. Whatever she says, whatever happens, I can handle it. I can do this!'_

I gave myself an affirming nod, grinned, and fetched the rings from the bedside. I slipped the box with my ring into my left pocket, Lani's into my right, and headed for the kitchen. I didn't smell anything cooking yet and prepared a jab about her cutting herself as I rounded the corner into the dining and kitchen area.

I stopped dead, torn between confusion and protective fury. A towering man with blond hair had Lani by the upper arm, Lani was pulling back against his grasp, and they were glowering at each other. In her other hand, poised for an upward strike, was Lani's cutting knife. They both looked at me as they heard me come in, and Lani took the opportunity to free herself from the man's hold. I strode forward with intention, shoulders squared as I glared into the man's single blue eye. I thought I had seen him somewhere before…

"Lani, what's going on?"

The blond man's brow quirked. "'Lani'? Is that the name you chose this time?" he asked incredulously.

I clued in immediately and planted myself firmly between the man and Lani, my muscles coiled and ready. "You must be Tait…"

The man frowned again, then laughed. "What lies have you been telling, 'sister'?"

Lani spoke my name softly behind me and I turned my head enough to give her an ear, not taking my eyes off Tait. She set a hand on my back, and I couldn't tell if it was meant to encourage or calm me.

"Please, Sophia, sit and listen," she urged.

"No, I won't. He can't have you!" I snarled and she flinched. _"I won't let you take her!_" I tensed until I trembled, ready to fight, ready to kill to protect her.

I expected Tait to square up to me, to bluster back, but he only looked pained. "Sophia, was it? I understand your anger and want to protect her, but you do not underst-"

I cut him off, fists clenching so tight I could swear my knuckles would split. "I _do_ know! I know who she is, and what she's done. It matters not. She's staying here, and you're getting the FUCK out of my house and _never_ coming back or I swear I will rip your spine out through your throat!"

Tait chuckled darkly. "Brother, torture this poor woman no longer."

My rage faltered for a moment. "…'Brother'?" I glanced cautiously back at Lani for an explanation.

Her brow was furrowed as she averted my eyes for a long moment. "Yes," she finally said. And I watched in dazed horror as my Lani, darling, beautiful, tender Lani, changed.

The man that now stood in my kitchen matched Tait in stature. Where Tait was broad, golden, and built, this man was slender, pale, with dark hair and green eyes. The greens and golds of his leather clothing, the battle-damaged cape; I knew this man now, and why Tait looked familiar to me. The twist in my gut reached up into my chest and I found myself unable to breathe as my entire world shattered. Now, I truly understood everything over the past five years.

"Loki…" I breathed his name like a final revelation.

Loki flicked his eyes to meet mine, regret etched into every line of his face. "This is not what I had intended, Sophia…"

I bobbed my head a bit, not quite able to nod and stumbled back from the two of them. I didn't know when Loki had discarded the kitchen knife, but his hands were empty as he approached me. The sound of my name in his pleading velvet baritone made something else inside me snap. A smile pulled at the corners of my mouth and I guffawed.

"You two must have so much catching up to do! It's been so very long." I glanced to Thor, ever polite. "Please, make yourself at home, your majesty."

With that, I turned and made for the front door. I couldn't be here, I couldn't look at either of them, hear them, even know that they were near. My body didn't want to move, but I forced it for my own sake, snatching up my purse and keys and jamming my feet back into my shoes. Fingers wrapped around my elbow to delay me. I paused but didn't look back, hand on the doorknob.

"Please," I heard Loki speak softly, "do not go where I cannot find you."

I almost laughed at the twist on the promise I had Lani make to me long ago. All I could do was smile, fighting back the tears. "Why concern yourself with where I go?" I echoed her own sentiments from back then and glanced just enough to see Loki's face. "You have everything you were waiting for now, right? What does human like me matter anymore?"

The agony in his features would have ripped my heart out if it wasn't already. I opened the door, slipped out of his grasp, and closed it tight behind me. My feet carried me to the car, and muscle memory took me down the winding road, to whence I neither knew nor cared. So long as it was away from here...

I all but held my breath, afraid the slightest movement in my chest would destroy the tenuous web holding me together. When I finally realized where I had ended up, I was perched at the corner of the lacquered bar in the local pub I had never visited. I stared at the amber liquid in my glass, watching the bubbles rise and the ice slowly turn. The sound pressure of the other patrons and music helped keep my pain at bay and fill the gaping hollow the truth about Lani truth had left me with.

I slid the straw around and sipped slowly, keeping to myself and wondering. How had Loki actually ended up in the forest by my family's cabin? Had he targeted me as an easy dupe? What scheme had I been part of for him? Was I even important enough for that, or was I simply entertainment while he worked? Part of me argued that there had to be at least some truth to it all, his actions, his feelings, his words; but another part forced me to remember that the rules of interaction and relationships humans followed did not apply to the likes of Loki of Asgard.

What humans valued, he did not. Their words meant nothing, their actions were but the scurrying of rats to him. I was little more than a pet, keeping him company and amusing him as I bent over backward and risked everything to make him happy and keep him safe. Everything you held dear, every laugh, embrace, compromise, prank, kiss, and sweet word, every small act of love; lies.

My beloved Lani did not exist.


	22. Chapter 22

Loki stared at the closed front door until the sounds of Sophia's vehicle faded into the distance. Thor's slow footsteps approached from behind and through his kindling rage Loki mastered his expression.

"I thought I made it explicitly clear that you were not to move, not to make a sound, until I said otherwise?"

"How long would have made me stand there?" Thor needled, and Loki turned on him.

"Are you happy now, brother?" he sneered venomously. "Does it please you to know you've ruined all I've accomplished here?"

Thor clasped a wrist in front of himself as he stood in the short hallway, unperturbed. "Knowing how most of your schemes end, I think it best they are disturbed, but that is neither here nor there. Tell me, did you ever intend to reveal yourself to her?"

Loki clenched his fist against the swell of rage and jeered. "Would you have ever told your own precious mortal? Or perhaps you did, and that is the true reason she discarded you." The displeasure on Thor's face cheered him. "If I let you speak the piece you are so determined to, will you leave me be?"

"I will not. You cannot stay here."

Loki grinned. "Oh? Are you jealous, brother? My quaint living and charming companionship, divorced from the chaos of the realms and the crippling burden of the crown? Is that not the life _you_ desired?"

Thor gritted his teeth. "If you are asking whether I would trade places with you, that answer has been given in the past."

"I think you would find my companion incompatible, but it _would_ be amusing to watch you fumble about-"

"_Enough_."

Loki's grin lessened. "Alright then. If you've not the patience for my particular mode of welcome, then answer me this so we can both be on our way: Why are you here?"

"I've come to take you home, brother. As I told you, Asgard has need of your talents."

He chuckled and leveled a glare at him. "Well, I do apologize, but I cannot acquiesce."

"Your consent is not a factor," Thor stated pointedly, and Loki could hear Odin in his voice.

Loki blinked and stammered with disbelief. "Are you-? Do you intend to _kidnap me_?"

"If I must."

"Dear, oh dear, whatever happened to twist you so must have been devastating indeed. Won't you share your woe?"

Thor's shoulders drooped, his eye growing distant. "…Not here…"

Loki faltered. Thor had ignored his attempts to peeve him in the past, but never had Loki seen his brother so visibly laden with guilt. What had he done, or allowed to be done, that depressed him so?

"…Outside then, perhaps. I think you will find the view agreeable."

Thor nodded, and Loki fetched a pair of glasses and the wine decanter before leading them onto the patio in the back. He wrapped it in a stationary illusion so any prying eyes would see only the empty table and chairs. They seated themselves comfortably across from one another, Loki filled their glasses, and Thor eyed his own hesitantly.

"Have you no ale?"

Loki shot him a seething look and sneered. "I beg your pardon? You appear quite uninvited, force your way into my home, traumatize an innocent, threaten to kidnap me, and then have the audacity to criticize the hospitality of my house?"

Thor dropped his head, thoroughly scolded, and took his glass without further complaint. An awkward silence fell, neither knowing where to continue their conversation. Loki watched his brother intently, sipping his spirit while Thor blinked down into his with lingering suspicion.

"It is not poisoned, brother," Loki urged. '_This time.'_

Thor finally took a taste, and Loki laughed when his face scrunched in disgust.

"It's bitter!" He coughed.

"It's _dry_," Loki corrected, smirking as Thor took another drink nevertheless.

Silence fell again, Loki mentally scrambling for an effective way to dissuade his brother, and Thor swirling the dark red liquid around his glass. Once he felt he had given Thor ample opportunity to continue their conversation, Loki did so himself.

"How fares Asgard?"

"We are surviving. The winters are long and harsh, the harvests lacking, and our morale is a fading dream."

"Do you lack resources or labor?"

"Both, in equal measure. We lose more and more each passing year such that I fear we may not survive the decade." Thor eyed him meaningfully, and Loki distracted himself with his glass.

"What of the ship we escaped on, or the Bifrost to take you elsewhere?"

"Use of the Bifrost requires an amount of energy we cannot readily produce. It is used only in dire situations. As for the ship, it is crashed and all but functionless. We have neither the supplies nor knowledge to repair it. There are no building plans in the on-board systems, at least, none we can access. Even were we to return it to working order, or gather enough energy for the Bifrost, where would we go?"

Daringly, Loki ventured. "Why not come to Midgard?"

Thor frowned at him. "Do you not recall father's lessons on the merging of realms?"

Loki's lips drew into a thin line, as bitter as his wine. "Perhaps one of the many lessons the Allfather thought to exclude me from."

"If two realms overlay, either one will destroy the other or both will be destroyed as they establish themselves. If we attempt to make our home on Midgard, make even a part of this place Asgard, it could well doom them both."

Loki pondered, ticking ideas from his mental list as he continued to interrogate Thor. Their people were stranded, dwindling, struggling in vain. '_But it is not my concern. I have already decided to remain here. Though, if Thor can see and hear as he did well enough to find me, then he will know when I begin my conquest. He will again be in my way…'_

"Well, it seems you've stumbled yourself into quite the conundrum, brother," Loki needled.

"And you have always been the better of us where such situations are concerned."

"I can no better tell you how to proceed than I can see the future."

"You will not tell, you will command."

Loki blinked. "What?"

"On Asgard."

Loki dropped his glass to the table with a growl and rose from his chair. "Not this again; I told you, Thor, I can't."

"Cannot or will not?" Thor narrowed his eye at him as Loki paced about with hands behind his back.

"Does it matter? Think it through. You said yourself our people are on the brink of extinction as it is, and I am far from laudable. My return would do little more than to draw not only the enemies of Asgard anew, but mine own. Here, I am obscured and can remain so for as long as I see fit."

"I found you easily enough." Thor pointed out.

Loki paused. "Asking Heimdall to glance about hardly qualifies."

He could feel the very air grow heavy as Thor looked at him sadly.

"Brother, Heimdall is dead."

Loki blinked, momentarily stunned. "...What?"

"Has it been so long for you that you cannot remember?" The questioning on Loki's face seemed to worry him. "Do you recall anything of Ragnarok? Of our escape, or Thanos?"

Loki scowled. "_Him_, I remember."

"When he and his Children ravaged our ship, Heimdall ensured the Avengers were warned of their coming. It cost him his life."

"Then how did you find me?"

"Our new Gatekeeper has his own talents," Thor said simply.

"And that would be whom, exactly?"

"Do you recall Tyr?"

Loki's brow twitched imperceptivity. "The young God of Battle?"

"They very same."

"And what, may I ask, possessed you to appoint _him_ at a time like this_?_"

Thor smirked. "I think I will keep my secrets this time, brother."

"Even if I may know of a candidate better suited to the task?"

Thor simply laced his fingers over his abdomen, looking quite pleased with himself.

Loki shook his head in disbelief. "Your arrogance will be the death of your precious Asgard, mark my words."

"Why should that matter to you? You've already made it clear you have no desire to return, showing you've no concern for their fate."

'_He is trying to play me!'_ Loki thought, almost offended, and he spat venom with his words. "Nor do you, brother. It shows clearly in their state as you have described it to me. Like a child at a chess board, your caprice condemns them to anguish and decay! At least Hela had the decency to put them out of their misery!"

Somewhere in the distance, thunder sounded its approach. Thor rose slowly, sparks arching from his hands as he bore down on Loki. The God of Mischief held his ground, even as the sparks snapped against his skin.

"Hela was your doing," Thor growled, "Ragnarok was your fault."

"Ragnarok was prophecy," Loki growled in return. Thor's shoulders tensed, his fists clenched, and Loki goaded. "Go on, brother, you know you want to, and it always makes you feel so much better."

Thunder snarled closer, but Thor dropped his shoulders and took a step back.

"…I may not be an ideal leader, but I do know this: there is no profit for Asgard in the squabbling of her kings."

Loki remained on guard, and narrowed his eyes. "I do not take your meaning."

"Us, this," He clarified. "It does our people no good."

"…You still mean to spirit me away?"

"If you truly had no intention of leaving, if you had no care at all about our home, you would not argue with me so." Thor reclaimed his seat, resting his arms on his knees and worrying his hands. "Besides, I have to return with something… I cannot wait for Stark."

Loki eased closer. "How does Stark enter into this?"

"After-…" Thor tried to find his words. As he spoke, Loki slowly returned to his own chair. "After the battle, Stark made a promise to lend aid to our people when he was able. Part of that entailed building what he referred to as a "landing target" on Earth for the Bifrost. He thought that, if constructed properly, he would be able to open the bridge from here only as far as was needed to send through supplies and assistance, and consume only a fraction of the usual amount of energy."

Loki propped an arm on the table and passed his hand over his eyes. He could not count the ways in which Stark's plan and reasoning were lacking. "For a self-purported genius, he is truly clueless."

Thor hummed in agreement. "Perhaps, but at least his intentions were pure, and he kept his word."

Something clicked in Loki's mind, and he let his hand fall away. "Where was this target constructed?"

"As I understand, the site he chose lies perhaps 200 miles from this place. It should be ready within..." Thor took a moment to consider, "one month, if Stark's last report holds true. I had planned to use it to bring us home, actually, after we pay him a visit."

All of Sophia's long hours and days away from home, the strange layout of the courtyard at the facility, the platform there; he now knew what it all was meant for. '_If it does work as intended, then our worlds will be connected, even with the Bifrost in its weakened state.'_ Loki hated admitting Thor was correct about anything, especially concerning Loki himself, but he could not deny that some part of him did want to return to Asgard. '_Perhaps, just a look…'_

"You do realize, brother, that your old friends are scattered to the wind? They would be but strangers to you now."

"I expected as much. I am certain Stark will receive us nevertheless."

Loki pursed his lips. The very idea of meeting again with any former member of that team sat ill with him. "Why not go yourself? As you tell it, there is a month yet before we could leave, and hardly any reason for me to-"

"Oh? Is it 'we' now?"

Loki glared.

Thor smirked. "Whatever business you have to conclude here, I will give you two days. After that, the both of us will depart leave to find Stark. I'll not let you so far out of my sight until we are home, and you cannot linger here."

He could hear Odin again in the god's voice, and it threatened to curl Loki's lip. Instead, he grinned and chuckled. "Two days is hardly enough time to see to all my affairs."

"That you would have so many at once betrays how much you have diminished; or how much you have grown."

And there was Frigga… Loki averted his gaze, torn. The thought that he could still be less than he was before wounded at his pride, considering how he had come to assimilate his Jotun heritage. Simultaneously, the possibility that his current state was, instead, a betterment of which his brother approved was almost pleasing. He did not miss the parallels between himself and his brother and their respective times on Earth. For Thor, it had been Jane Foster. For Loki, it was Sophia. Differing circumstances, yet similar outcomes. In spite of their ephemeral natures, the effect mortals could have on the gods themselves was truly astonishing.

Loki was quiet for long enough that Thor must have thought their former conversation had ended, and so attempted to begin one anew.

"So, are you going to wear that ridiculous helmet again? The one that makes you look like a cow?"

Loki licked his lips. "Are you _really_ going to start that again?"

Thor shrugged. "I figure if ever there was a time for you to change something you do not care for, it is now."

"I am quite fond of my horns, thank you. They are a far cry better than those dainty feathers you insist on prancing around in."

Thor scoffed. "I do _not_ prance."

"That is not what mother said," Loki teased.

After a moment, Thor laughed, and to Loki's chagrin it was contagious. The animus between them broke, and they each laughed until their sides protested and their eyes watered. Loki wanted to blame the wine, but he knew better. This was the unbreakable fraternity of the Odinsons shining through. No matter how their paths diverged or how they fought, Thor and Loki would be, to the bitter end, brothers.

Thor caught his breath and wiped at his eye. "Oh, I needed that more than I knew." He grinned broadly at Loki, who offered a half-smile in return. "I have missed you terribly, brother. It will be good to have you home again."

Loki's smile faded and he look away, still hesitant. "I recall you once saying that the throne would suit me ill."

"And you once called me a witless oaf. Cannot we both be proven wrong?"

Loki laid a hand across his eyes again. The weight of the day was settling on his shoulders, and he realized just how eventful it had been. It was only this morning that he found he was free, that he had the power to facilitate swearing the oath he had held silent for so long. Thor had arrived perhaps two hours prior, and an hour ago Sophia had discovered the truth. All this alone was enough for one day, and yet Loki found himself still needing to choose between Asgard and she whom he cherished, then confront her. He swallowed hard against practicality.

'_We are at a crossroads already, she and I. If I can make her understand, ensure her allegiance, then perhaps…Perhaps I could…' _He dipped his hand to chew on a nail, allowing his petty schemes to form in the back of his mind as contingencies. '_The fact of the matter is this: either she will come to terms before I leave or she will not. If not, I will simply have a more difficult time when I return. It is nothing I cannot overcome.'_ Loki decided. He would leave with Thor to see what could be done for Asgard, but afterwards he would return to Midgard for Sophia, and woe be unto any who tried to stop him.

"This will be an entertaining experiment," he mused.

Hope lined Thor's face. "You will come, then?"

Loki nodded. "Yes, brother, I will come."


	23. Chapter 23

Loki gathered the wine and glasses and led Thor back inside. The sun was beginning its decline, and he had things to see to before it set.

"Since it seems you will be spending time on Earth, you will need a place to stay," Loki said.

"Yes. It is probably best I do not stay here, though." Thor touched a finger to the ceiling that was only a few inches from the top of his head. "How have you managed it for so long? I think I would go mad in such a tiny space."

Loki gave his brother a bland expression before shifting form back to Lani, whom was notably shorter.

"Oh! Right, I'd forgotten."

The now-goddess all but rolled her eyes again. She attempted to reach Sophia through cell phone to find out where she was, but there was no answer. Loki would need to find her the old-fashioned way. She fetched her coat from the hook by the door along with her purse and slipped on her shoes. She motioned to Thor, who followed her out.

"There is a hostel on the way into town. I'm certain you can convince them to house you for a while." Loki locked the door behind them and they began the hour or so trek along the gravel path.

Thor walked with hands in his pockets. "From the sound of it, you intend to leave me there. Where is it you are off to?"

"I have business in town."

Loki did not need to glance up to see the knowing look on Thor's face.

"I am sorry to have frightened away your companion. That was not my intent, but perhaps it is for the best, as you once told me."

Loki said nothing. Neighbors that knew Loki as Lani hailed her as she passed, and she returned their waves. Now and then, the pair stepped out of the way of a passing vehicle, and Loki exchanged friendly gestures with their occupants as well. Thor seemed to enjoy the passing scenery and sounds of the Midgardian fauna. He questioned Loki about creatures of interest, and Loki answered him, if only to fill the silence. When they arrived at the hostel, Loki paused at the end of the walkway that led to its entrance.

"You can handle yourself from here, yes?" she asked as she handed him a fold of krone notes.

Thor shrugged, tucking them away. "I've handled worse."

Loki nodded. "All else fails, your _lordship_ need only show them your sparks." She wriggled her fingers meaningfully at him then resumed her trip toward town.

A roil of thunder a moment later made her flinch, and then grin. Thor had realized the reference.

By the time Loki arrived, many places were closing for the day. She trekked by the locations she and Sophia frequented, but found no trace of her paramour. No one had seen her, and she still was not replying to the messages Loki continued to send. It was odd, but worried Loki only slightly. She knew Sophia was not impulsive enough to have done something drastic in her despair. _'She is giving me the cold shoulder, is all. She would not leave town again, not when she has only just returned.'_

The light of day faded, and the street lamps flickered to life. Loki still had not found or heard from Sophia. She grimaced at the idea of hailing a cab to take her back home, but it was too dark to make it even so far as the hostel where she had left Thor. She would simply have to wait for Sophia to come home on her own. Resigned, she turned down the street toward the pub, where she knew drivers would be waiting to see safely home the drunken patrons. She very nearly raised a hand to attract the attention of one when she caught sight of a familiar vehicle. Pausing and examining the license plate, she found it was indeed Sophia's, sitting in the pub's parking area.

_'__Odd… She has never shown an interest in such a place. Why would she be here?'_

Now fully concerned, Loki changed direction and made her way inside.

It was loud, crowded, and stank of spilled drinks. Tables were filled with old and newly-met friends making merry, and here and there were people dancing. Were Loki less perceptive, she would have missed Sophia hunched over the corner of the bar, almost hidden by the crowd. She pushed her way through the bodies and against the sound pressure, grasping the bar for stability when she finally arrived. Either Sophia did not notice or was pointedly ignoring her. Judging by the flush across her tear-stained cheeks, Loki figured it was the former.

Speaking to get her attention would be futile, so Loki placed a hand on her arm. Sophia's eyes flicked first to the hand and then to its owner. Loki offered her a concerned expression, but she raised her arm to take another drink as though Loki was not there at all. The goddess was not so easily deterred. She remained where she was until Sophia finished her drink and the bartender returned. Loki gave him a declining gesture, earning her a glower from Sophia. She paid her tab and pushed past Loki, making for the door with Loki on her heels.

Once they were outside, Sophia shoved her hands into the pockets of her slacks and kept her eyes straight ahead as she stomped toward the parking area.

"Sophia, wait, please," Loki called, only to be ignored. She jogged to be ahead of her companion and walked backwards as she attempted to engage her. "Permit me a chance to explain. At the very least, I think I deserve that much-"

Sophia stopped dead, fixing Loki with an agonized scowl that sliced right through her, and snarling. "Deserve? What you _deserve?_ You want to talk about what you _deserve_?! How many frivolous explanations have you given me already? How many have I let pass? And now you want me to accept yet another?!"

Loki tried to respond, but Sophia cut her off, her voice the bleeding edge of a knife.

"I have given you _everything_; _risked_ _everything_ for you! I have swallowed each and every lie you fed me hook, line, and sinker because I trusted, I _loved_! I have toiled and strained and bent over backwards to make you happy and build a life for us, knowing all the while that no matter how well I did, it would _never_ be enough!" She drew a few trembling breaths to steady herself. "And you want to talk about what _you_ deserve…"

Loki licked her lips as fresh tears streamed down Sophia's face.

"I trusted you…" she breathed. "And you sat there and let me…" She shook her head and sniffled before wiping at the wetness on her face and trying to laugh. "Was it at least amusing for you? Did your little marionette entertain you, _your majesty_?"

Loki bit her tongue against her own seething retort and forced herself to remain collected. "Let me take you home, kjae-"

Sophia barked snidely. "You don't drive, Lani! Oh, no, wait, let me guess. You're going to tell me that you simply 'prefer not to and that you're actually quite skilled'. Am I close?"

It was almost more than Loki could take at the moment. She drew herself up imperiously and put out a demanding hand. "Keys."

Sophia hiccupped even as she sneered and Loki stared her down. Neither was willing to concede.

"Elskling, please." Loki insisted softly.

Without looking away, she reached into her purse and slapped the key fob into Loki's palm.

"You don't get to call me that anymore… Don't you dare kill us," she growled and broke away to climb into the passenger seat.

Loki took a calming breath before claiming the driver's side. She waited until Sophia was settled in her seat belt, arms crossed and leaning on her window before pulling out and finding the gravel road home.

"You know it is unwise to be driving when you're inebriated; what was your plan exactly?"

"Sleep in my fucking car, what do you care?"

Loki bit back another retort. The crunch of the tires on the road was the only sound between them for a long five minutes. Then, Sophia began mumbling.

"Why? Why me? I knew you were going to be trouble from the start, so why did I even...?" she sobbed.

Loki let her continue, hoping she would reveal more of her condition so she would know best how to handle this.

"I should have known the day I found you. Stupid, stupid. Did you seek me out knowing I'd be easy? Was any of it real at all? Why?"

She said little different than that for the rest of the drive. Loki noticed there was excitement at the hostel where she'd left Thor as they passed it. _'At least one of us will have an enjoyable evening…'_ she thought bitterly. Parked at home, she offered Sophia a hand inside, which was pointedly declined. Loki closed the door a bit harder than she intended. She followed Sophia into the kitchen where the inebriated woman gulped a tall glass of water, threw grounds into a filter, and started the coffee maker. As she waited for it to finish, she turned on Loki.

"Change," she demanded.

Loki blinked, confused.

"_Change your face_," she clarified. "I am not having this discussion with you looking like that. Lani isn't real, so change."

Loki pursed her lips against her growing anger, but complied. Instead of the leather armor, Loki was clad in princely robes with armored adornments. He spread his hands to present his form. "Ta-da," he sang sarcastically. "Is this better for you?"

Sophia snorted. "More honest, at least."

Loki dropped his hands. "You _do_ understand why I had to hide, do you not?"

"Yes, because otherwise no one would have taken you in. Tell me, what _was_ your plan? What scheme am I a part of? I think I'm entitled to that much, at the very least."

Loki took a cautious step toward Sophia. "Perhaps in the beginning, there was something, but not now."

She didn't believe him. "Are you sure it wasn't to hide until you saw a good opportunity to try to take over Earth again? Because I seem to have really helped you out with that one," she snapped.

Loki closed the distance, towering over his paramour, who glared back up at him. "I thought you understood me better than that by now."

"I _understand_ that I've been lied to since the day I found you!"

"Have you not been listening at all?!" he hissed, "I had _no choice_!"

"Do you trust me?" Sophia asked simply.

Her momentary calm caught him off guard. "How could you even question-"

She cut him off and gestured angrily. "Then why not just tell me when you knew you could? What was I going to do, send a cosmic letter to Thor? Turn you over to the _fucking Avengers_?!"

Loki snarled. "There are beings in this universe with abilities you cannot even FATHOM let alone comprehend! I could not risk them discovering I still lived and drawing them here!"

"And what about us?!" Sophia sobbed, moving to leave the kitchen. "You let me fall in love with you, and you pretended to love me back!"

He grabbed her by the arms as she passed, refusing to let her escape. "I was _not_ pretending, Sophia!"

She shook in his hands, struggling to catch her breath. "Then say it… Tell me you love me."

She whined pleadingly, grasping the lapels of his coat and burying her face in his chest. He coiled his arms around her, holding her steady as she trembled. The words welled in his throat, formed on his tongue, but he bit them back. He couldn't; not yet.

"Tell me, tell me, please. Say it to me just once!"

"Do I not say so each and every day?"

She pushed away enough to glare up at him again. "No, _Loki_," she all but sneered his name. "You _don't_. You return the sentiment, but you have not once ever said 'I love you' to me."

His grip loosened. "I… Is it not understood?"

"Even if it is, I need to hear it." She pleaded once more.

Loki swallowed against the lump growing in his chest and throat. He ran his knuckles tenderly along her cheek and begged. "Do not do this…"

"Just say it; please?" She begged, sobbing again. "Say you love me and I can forgive all of this! _Lie to me_, if you must!"

Loki turned and stepped away, unable to bear the sight of her suffering any longer. Defensively, his pain began twisting into anger. "You cannot grasp what it means for me to speak such a thing."

"Then explain it to me."

"It is beyond mortal workings!"

She held up her hands. "So you won't say it. After all this, you won't even lie to me when I ask you to-"

Loki clenched his fists. "Sophia, listen to me-"

"-The God of Tricks has nothing up his sleeve-"

"-_I cannot say it_!"

"I gave you my _heart, my life, I __**trusted**__ you!_"

He rounded on her, teeth bared. "THAT WAS **YOUR** FOLLY!"

Sophia blinked at him, stunned into silence. Loki immediately regretted his words. He felt something between them break and all the desperation dissolved, leaving the room hollow.

She laughed once. "You're right. It was my folly. I should have listened to my instincts; I should have known better."

"Sophia, please, I did not-" Loki reached for her hand, but was denied.

"Don't apologize, Loki," she sneered, "it's unbecoming of a god."

She may as well have slapped him. Loki could only watch as Sophia reached into her pockets, removing two identical items he missed had been there at all. "You pestered me for months about that jeweler's receipt, remember? They don't matter anymore, so I suppose it makes no difference if you see them before you leave. At least one of us can come clean…"

She set the small black boxes on the kitchen counter, then took one of his large hands in both of her own and kissed his knuckles with a mock bow. "Safe travels, your majesty. I'm certain your people will be glad for your return."

Her words were poison, paralyzing him as she disappeared down the hall and into their bedroom, closing the door calmly behind her. The ghost of her lips burned like acid on his knuckles, but he could not move. '_Is this how it ends…?'_ he thought. He felt himself disconnect, unable to even process the concept. His body moved without direction, stepping to the counter and opening the velvet-covered boxes. In the bottom of each perched a simple band with three stones set in the center. He tilted the boxes to examine the writing on the satin lining. Each said the same, with "Lani" and "Sophia" being the only difference: To a Lifetime of Happiness.

_'__Engagement rings...'_

Loki felt his very soul wrench, touched and terrified simultaneously. He knew already which was to be his: the emerald flanked by topaz. He carefully plucked the tiny band from its seat and held it to the light for a better look. Along the inside of the band were engraved runes for love, luck, and loyalty, and on the emerald he could just make out a tiny glyph. '_A Helm of Awe…?'_ The Nords had adopted this tradition from the Asgardians, so he knew well what it was and what it meant. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if Sophia did. '_Of course she does,'_ he scolded himself. '_You know her better than to think she would be at all careless in the design of such a symbol.'_

He wrapped his hands around the ring and pressed them to his forehead, dizzy, and he pleaded. '_Mother, if ever I desired your guidance, it was never more so than I do now.'_ He flicked his eyes around, but found not a hint of the golden strands of fate. Loki was on his own.

* * *

A nice hot shower; that was what I needed. It cleared my sinuses, eased the pressure in my head, and sobered me up a bit more. My skin was red from the scorching water, but I welcomed the burning as a physical manifestation of the overwhelming turmoil in my heart and head; and the pain helped ground me to reality. I took my time cleaning and drying off, slipping into my pajamas like a new set of skin that would protect my exposed nerve of a heart from the waiting barbs of the outside world.

Stepping out, I didn't expect to find Loki sitting on the edge of the bed. He was rolling the ring boxes between his fingers and paused when I came into the room, glancing up sheepishly. '_Has he been crying…?'_

"You're still here," I observed, almost numb.

"I brought your coffee," he said softly.

Glancing at the bedside table, I saw the steaming mug. I strode over and took my spot on the edge of the bed next to him, letting the mug burn against my fingers as I held it.

"Thank you."

He nodded.

Everything was empty now. My bones, the air, the house, even Loki seemed empty as he slumped to lean his elbows on his knees. There was no anger or sadness, no pain, nothing. We sat in silence as I sipped my coffee, and he continued to toy with the boxes. I flinched when his baritone broke that silence.

"When did you mean to propose?"

I kept my eyes fixed on the nothing in front of me. "Tonight, at the coffee house after dinner."

"Tonight…" he chuckled, but it was a hollow sound. "Of course it was tonight."

I could almost hear the gears in his head working, and I wondered what lies he was concocting now.

"Sophia."

I ignored him.

"Sophia, look at me, please."

I felt my head begin to turn, but stopped myself before I went too far. Instead, I took another gulp of coffee. Loki sighed and slipped from the bed, standing on his knees in front of me. He set the ring boxes aside, took the mug and put it beside them, then set his large hands on either side of my face, trying to make me look at him.

"Sophia, please," the fresh pain in his voice almost swayed me. "Look at me. See me, know me. I am the same no matter the name or form. I have not fundamentally changed."

"Pulling a curtain does not fundamentally change what it hides," I retorted evenly, "and yet it was hidden."

He sighed again, leaning to press his forehead to mine so I had nowhere else to look. The whole world was filled with those eyes I knew so well. This close, I could see the flecks of black and faintest blue within the green, forming a constellation I had memorized. They were Loki's eyes; they were Lani's eyes. I started trembling again.

"It is I, the same as before," Loki whispered. His hands slid down my neck, across my shoulders, and down my arms. He slid my hands along his own until my fingers fell loosely around his wrists. His fingertips tickled as they traced my veins.

"It is I, who taught you to use a net, whom you taught to play Tak, who greets you each day you return home. It is I, who knows the patterns to draw on your back to ease you into sleep when your mind plagues you, whose own nightmares you chase away in kind. It is you who is mine, and I yours even now-"

I broke.

I threw myself around him and he held me tightly.

"_I hate you_!" I sobbed, slamming a fist against his back.

"I know." Loki didn't seem to feel it at all.

"I hate you! I hate you, I hate you _so fucking much_!"

His fingers were in my hair, sliding, stroking, soothing as he urged me to bleed out the emotional toxin. I sobbed more, I screamed and cursed, I hit him where he was armored as hard as I could. I poured all my rage into every strike, and he bore each one without flinching. Every doubt, every answer Lani never gave me, every half-truth I believed, every time she dared to question my own devotion. I didn't want any of it anymore, and I expelled it all as maledictions screamed into his hardened shoulder. Eventually, fatigue pulled irresistibly, and I slumped against his solid form. There was still pain inside, but I had no more energy to express it.

Loki lifted me easy as a feather and tucked me comfortably into my side of the bed. I sniffled, curling into the cool sheets. I couldn't make out his expression as he stood and watched me for a moment, but when he turned to step away, I panicked. My hand shot out to capture his wrist before I could realize.

"NO!" My voice was hoarse from the screaming, "No, please… please stay…"

He looked back at me again, then twisted his hand to grasp me in return. The familiar hold was comforting enough for me to release him. I watched his long legs carry him gracefully into the closet, listened to the rustle and clink of his princely clothes and boots being shed and arranged neatly, and waited anxiously for him to reappear. A moment later, he did, clad in black breeches and a loose long-sleeved green shirt. His dark hair was displaced, his eyes red; was this paining Loki as it did me? The bed sank under his weight as he slid under the covers beside me, and I allowed myself to fall into the dip against him.

"Will this form do?" he asked.

"Just don't go." I gripped a handful of his soft cotton shirt until my knuckles went white.

Loki wrapped his long arm to frame my back and held me close, fingers sliding tenderly across my cheek to urge a bit of hair from my face. I fought the pull of sleep, afraid I would wake and Loki would be gone, taking Lani and my heart with him.

"Teach me how to stop loving you, please." I begged tiredly. "It hurts so much…"

"Sophia, elskling, I would reveal to you the deepest secrets of the cosmos if you so desired, but what you ask I cannot teach." I felt his head turn, his warm breath crawling through my hair as he spoke. "And even were I able to, I would not."

I lifted my hand and dropped it in a weak attempt to hit him again. "You selfish bitch."

He kissed my hair. "That I am."


	24. Chapter 24

Loki slept uneasy. Despite his word to permit Loki two days' time to settle his affairs, Loki could not overcome the suspicion Thor would instead try to steal him away while he was unawares. His brother had grown cleverer, but also inflexible, and Loki worried for what other disagreeable effects the past 12 years had had on the once wholesome God of Thunder. Usually in such a situation he would place traps and be done with it, but he did not want to risk Sophia stumbling into them if she had the need to rise. He woke several times through the night, near in a panic, just to confirm he was still in his Oslo home with Sophia clinging to him possessively. When he woke yet again, he knew he would not return to slumber. He could feel it was morning, but early, and Sophia was still sleeping soundly wrapped in his arms.

He memorized the press of her against him, the shape his arm formed framing her back and the curve of her hip in his hand, the gentle rise and fall of her shoulder, her warm breath seeping through his shirt and crawling across his skin. With his magic returned and Thor's arrival, Loki's plan to rule Earth was all but discarded. He had reconsidered it only because he had been trapped here, but now he could move about when and where he pleased. '_And the only reason left to remain is slumbering in my grasp.'_ Without Sophia, the Earth meant nothing. _'And if Thor is so weary of the throne as he seems, his sentiment of our both being kings to Asgard will work in my favor. It would be mine once again!'_ The thought did not please him as much as he hoped it would; for what was a king without a queen?

He momentarily considered turning her into a small snake or lizard and tucking her away in his pocket to sneak off with him to Asgard. It was impractical, however, and Loki knew it would solidify Sophia's present contempt for him. Loki pressed his nose into her hair. Were she so long lived as he, Loki could afford the time for her to come to terms without worry for her dwindling years. As was, even he for all his talents had not the power to preserve her. He chewed his lip. '_There must be a way… There is **always** a way.'_

Sophia shifted against his tightening hold, groaning softly as she joined him in the waking world. He released, watching her stretch and yawn almost cat-like, his shirt still in her iron grip.

"Good morning," he said, unable to mask his own lingering fatigue.

She hummed a response, sitting up slowly and releasing him to rub at her eyes as she came around. Then she groaned and pressed a palm to her temple. "Oh…My head…"

He chuckled. "Due to all your weeping, most likely."

She groaned again in protest.

"Do you recall anything of last night?" he ventured.

She was quiet for a moment, glancing around and considering, then turning to him with rekindled betrayal in her eyes. "Yes, actually. I remember everything."

Her address stung. The distance between them returned then, and it quickly filled with the anger, pain, defiance, and desperation of the night before. They considered each other for a long, quiet moment, and he felt her withdrawing from him. The undefined thing that had snapped between them was still broken. When words failed her, Sophia pushed the blankets away and made to rise. Loki curled his fingers around her elbow to delay her.

"Which troubles you more: who I am or that it was for so long hidden from you?"

Surely, she could answer that for him. Instead, she sighed heavily and pulled away. Loki sat up to watch her disappear behind the bathroom door. He could sense her want for space, as much as it pained him, so he rose as well, pulled on his over clothes minus his coat, and settled himself in the living room to wait. He had only a day to reach a new understanding with his beloved and it made him impatient, but he knew it was critical to allow her to come to him of her own volition.

By the time Sophia appeared again, Loki had flipped through several chapters of his current book, pretending to read. He set it aside and gave her his attention. She merely watched him from across the room, and he could almost see the broken cogs of her head and heart attempting to turn in harmony once more. He tread carefully.

"Would it ease you were I to change form?"

She pursed her lips and shook her head. "I don't rightly know, Lani…" She winced and corrected herself. "Apologies. Loki."

He frowned. "They are both names I bear; you are free to invoke whichever pleases you."

She seemed to want to argue, but only drew a deep breath, nodded, and stepped off to the kitchen. Again, he waited, listening to her shuffle about.

He was pleasantly surprised when she returned with a simple breakfast for them both, maintaining their morning ritual. It wasn't unheard of that she saw to meals, but it was certainly noteworthy when she did, and that she chose to do so now gave him hope. She sat beside him on their couch, he thanked her, she nodded, and they ate in silence for a time. Loki could feel that she was still deciding something, but the distance between them was insufferable. He ached for some gesture of affection, any confirmation that they were still connected somehow. Cautiously, he ran the back of a finger along the side of her knee. She froze at first but then brushed away the crumbs of toast and drew his hand into her lap. As she spoke, he could feel the immensity of her effort.

"There is a lot about all this that I don't have answers to. Too much is happening too quickly for me to process right now, and honestly, I'm a little lost at sea in the details. What I _do_ know is that I want to figure it out. I want you to help me understand so that maybe we can salvage whatever we have left, but that would take time, and I don't think we have that."

She glanced to him for confirmation, and he nodded. "Thor plans for us to depart as soon as tomorrow."

"And I get the feeling he is not one to be rebuked."

Loki chuckled humorlessly. "Not usually, no."

Sophia nodded. "Then…we should make the most of the time we have left."

He canted his head, seeking confirmation. "You do still desire my company, then?"

She sighed again. "I can't help it… I always felt there was something different about you, something more you weren't telling me. It'd be different if I didn't suspect anything, but… Loki, Lani, like this or like her, I…I still love you. I have so many questions, but I get the feeling I'm better off not knowing some of the answers. I can be alright with that, considering who and what you are."

Loki dared a smirk. "And here I thought you hated me."

She gave him a bland look. "Fine line, and all that."

He hummed his amusement and drew her hand up to place a kiss on her knuckles. He wanted to commend her for handling the situation with such grace but knew it would only try her already thin patience. So, he slid his arm around her hips and continued breakfast. After a moment, she did the same.

Their pleasant accord was not to last.

With breakfast finished and morning chores completed, they curled together on the couch and started a movie neither was truly watching. Loki figured a bit of normalcy would ease her before he needed to broach what he and Thor had discussed the night before. About half-way through the film, Sophia gave in to her curiosity and asked the questions he knew were plaguing her.

"Where do we go from here?" It was rhetorical. Loki paused the movie and gave her his full attention, waiting for her to speak again. "Will you ever return? Do you even _want_ to?"

He frowned. It seemed he would not have to wait to have this conversation. "It is not a matter of desire, rather possibility."

She gave him a questioning look.

"I do not know the details of what Thor requires of me, neither the situation on New Asgard. I may be occupied for years, or I might be able to steal away after a few months."

"And what becomes of us in that time? I love you still, despite everything and with all my heart, but I can't spend my life waiting for something that may never happen or someone that doesn't even..." She trailed off. They sat up and away from each other. "Even if you do come back, how long will it be for? You'll either want or need to go home again eventually, and I won't stay young forever. I know I can't go with you either. If that were possible or if you had wanted me to, you would have said so by now."

She did not need to speak the words; her voice explained her intention for them to go their separate ways. Usually, her sense of rationality when faced with an issue sat well with Loki, but in this moment, it served only to infuriate him.

"You jest, of course." He smirked, attempting to force the mood back to something pleasant, but Sophia only shook her head. She was not joking. He scoffed. "That's it, then, is it? This all ends with little more than a bittersweet valediction?"

She gave him a worn look. "How else was this going to end, Loki, hm? Presume Thor never came for you. How long were you going to stay with me before finding someone fresh and spry? Or did you think I hadn't noticed the way you've not aged in almost six years? How long do gods like you even live? This can't have been more than a vacation to you, fling and all."

The accusation cut him deep, fanning the flames with their insult and they spat at one another like vipers.

"Is _that_ what you make of this?"

"What does half a decade even mean to you in the long run?" she attempted to justify her stance.

"How would _you_ value time were you stranded?"

"So, I was your safe haven, your entertainment, then? And now that Thor has come to your rescue, the show's over."

"You dare think me so indifferent to you?!"

"You can't even say you _love_ me! What else am I supposed to think?!"

"I have explained that to you already, or are you incapable of comprehending?"

"Incapable of-?! Fine. No, Loki, I do _not_ understand!" She all but jumped from the couch to snarl down at him. "Please, be gracious to this poor ignorant mortal and explain again, maybe in detail this time!"

Loki squared his shoulders as he rose and hissed right back. "To you they may be only words weighted by sentiment, but for those like myself, they are an oath; and oaths are binding on a cosmic level, just as prophecies are." She deflated slightly, but Loki did not relent. "To break one bears consequences beyond death itself, and I like my soul where it is, thank you. I will _not_ swear such a thing if I am not absolutely certain I can honor it; not even to allay _your_ fears, my darling."

She was quiet for a moment, then questioned brazenly. "…Would you; if you could?"

He swallowed hard. "Yes."

Loki could almost see each memory she was reexamining reflected in her eyes as revelation lit within them. The venom between them dissolved. She shook her head and pressed her face into her hands. She waivered, dizzy, and he held her steady. He knew she was remembering their years together, seeing them in a new light, and the significance of it weighed visibly on her shoulders as she caved.

"You were right; you _did_ tell me you loved me, each and every day, any way you could."

He took her gently by the arms as she began to shake, pulled her close as she sobbed, and placed a kiss on her forehead. He could feel her valiant struggle, but she could not contain herself.

"Please, don't go! Please!" she cried, grasping his arms. Her fingers dug into his flesh until they left bruises.

Loki closed his eyes as she continued to beg, attempting to let it wash over him ineffectually.

"I'm sorry I couldn't see, that I was so selfish! I'll do better, I swear, just please _stay_! Go back to Thor and tell him he can't take you! You're _mine!_ You belong _with **me**!_ _Tell him, Lani_!" She shuddered a breath. "Loki, please, tell him… Make him go away so we can return to our life…"

They both knew it was not possible. Loki could not stay, and this day was their farewell. He wrapped her fully in his arms, and tried to calm her. She clung to him even once her tears were spent, slowly regaining her composure. He was stiff by the time she steadied and pulled back to smile up at him. She was putting on a brave face again, for his sake. He had always been able to tell when her gallantry was contrived, but it was necessary this time, so he let it pass.

"Everything will be alright," she proclaimed. "Whatever happens, it'll be okay."

Loki could not tell which of them she was attempting to convince.

"Promise me one thing?" He quirked a brow. "Promise you will at least try to come back, even if it's just to see my grave."

He did not even need to consider. "You have my word; I will try."

The air shifted in a way he could not place. "Then, I will wait."

Loki blinked, bemused. "You said you could not."

"And I meant it. I cannot wait if I have no assurance, but I have that now. I know you'll try, because I know you love me, you always did; and…I believe in you."

Loki's insides seized, taken completely by surprise. "You…what?"

"I believe in you," she said again.

Loki knew he shouldn't have questioned it, but he could not understand. "How? Why? By your own claim, I have deceived and betrayed you, caused you heartbreak and threatened your very livelihood. How can you have any faith at all left?"

"Who can say why anyone has faith in the first place? You have not once broken your word to me. You're a trickster, but I know you still have your honor, in whatever form it takes. You've given me a word I can trust; and your people need you… Besides, how long and often did you wait for _me_?"

Loki blinked, further perplexed by the dissonant yet noble creature in his arms. Sophia reached to set her hand gently against his cheek, speaking with that regal authority he adored.

"I believe in you, Loki. I know you'll come back."

Something bloomed within him then, something he could not name or place, but it filled him to the brim.

"Do you know what such a declaration means to a god?" he asked softly.

"Anything similar to a god saying 'I love you'?"

"Near enough, yes." He shifted to press his forehead to hers. In truth, it had nothing to do with deities or words of power, and everything to do with the redemption he still would not admit he craved. "Say it for me again, elskling."

"I believe in you, Loki."

Loki, King of New Asgard, Son of Frigga, swelled with aplomb. Sophia loved him even now, and she was still his: his lover, his cohort, his devoted one. Loki claimed those sweet lips and she returned his breathless passion until he feared they would melt into one another. Loki knew now that he had a queen in all but name and power. He need only find a means to keep her through the ages; and when he did, every realm, every world would know them both in kind and cower in fear and adulation. The universe itself would accept his declaration; or he would watch it burn.

* * *

'_Lani, Loki, Loki, Lani; I can sort it out later. I only have a little time with them left!'_

It took every trick I knew to suspend my disbelief and fall into this fairytale farewell. Never before had I seen my beloved dance on clouds as they did now with mad glee in their eyes. Over and over they had me tell them I believed in them, but I didn't grow tired of saying it.

The movie was completely forgotten. My darling insisted we spend the day in indulgence, and I couldn't argue that it seemed the best way to capstone things. '_Go out with a bang, and all that; Loki did promise to try to return, but there's no assurance as to when that will be. Might as well get all of it out now.'_ At first I hesitated when it was declared we should wear our absolute best, but the exuberance of my trickster was not to be argued.

I had my lady at my side again, donning her golden blouse, flowing black skirt, and sheer green shrug water-falling down her back. I shimmed once more into my Venus-cut blue dress with silver brocade. I couldn't help but feel silly slipping on my accessories and giving my hair a simple, but elegant style. I knew I would receive strange looks for it from the people in town for long after Loki was gone. It didn't matter. It was all a dream anyway, and I wasn't about to wake myself.

We drove to town and waltzed from place to place, ignoring the lingering glances and visiting all of our favorite places together one last. Museums, the botanical gardens, the coffee shop and bakery. I even convinced Loki to sit the photo booth, for fear of forgetting her face. She would not let me join her, however.

"Since you absolutely _insist _on such a frivolous thing, it may as well be done properly."

She flashed her usual impish grin before disappearing behind the curtain, and I waited anxiously. She slipped out a minute later, and we inspected the four-image strip. There was a profile and a straight shot of both Loki's forms. I knew already what I would do with the profiles. Loki quirked her lip.

"Not the best quality, are they?"

I smirked at her. "Would you like to try it again?"

She made a face and I laughed, tucking the strip safely away in my clutch.

One last dinner. The restaurant we frequented for date night was less than busy, and they gladly allowed us to pick our own table. Loki chose one near the glass wall overlooking the harbor with a clear view of the darkening sky. When the auroras appeared, I nearly lost hold of my courage. I hid behind my napkin as though afraid I would sneeze until my misting eyes dried. Loki knew, though, and she laced her fingers with mine and gave me a genuine smile. I could see in her eyes that there was something she wanted to say, but could not. I knew now what it was, and what it had always been.

"I love you, too", I ventured, and was rewarded with a kiss on my knuckles.

By dessert we were both spent, feet aching from our day-long walk-about. The drive home felt longer than usual, and I saw Loki eye the hostel along the way that I usually ignored. I glanced at it as well and found it uncharacteristically active. I could guess why.

"Is that where Thor is staying?"

"By my suggestion. I figured reveling in his celebrity would keep him well occupied."

"Seems you were right." …I took my foot off the accelerator and the car began to slow. I sent Loki mischievous glance. "Would you like to pay him a visit?"

The grin that broke across her face was maniacal. She knew what I was thinking; after all, not all the fun we had was Loki's idea.

"Under normal circumstances, I would desire nothing else. Perhaps next time."

'_Next time…'_ I considered, and I let that thought comfort me.


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N: And finally, I have caught up! I do hope this revised version is as much to your liking and enjoyment as the first draft. Thank you again to my readers for their helpful suggestions on how to improve not only the story, but myself as a writer. All of my love to you. That said, this will be the last update for this story for a while. I want to catch up on my other work, The Long Road to Freedom, and I am putting more time into an original piece I hope to publish within the year. This story is not abandoned; it WILL continue, but please do not expect anything anytime soon. Comments are always appreciated so I know coming back to it is worth the time. And with that, let's get to it!_

* * *

The weight of the day began to settle while we prepared for bed. Had anything been left undone? Nothing came to mind immediately but watching a male Loki slip under the sheets of our bed gave me a thought. I plucked a worn book from the stack at my bedside before joining him. He examined the cover when I handed it over.

"We've read this one several times already, kjaere," he quirked a brow.

"I know, but I'd like to have a memory of you in this form where we _aren't_ screaming at each other and I'm not crying."

He considered for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, then."

I fit myself into the crook of his shoulder, laying an arm across his midriff, and he propped the book up in a single large hand. I hadn't realized exactly how long his fingers were until now, finely shaped and tapered. While he read, I etched him into my memory. I followed the curve of his palm down into his wrist, solid yet seemly, continued the length of his forearm and memorized the branching of his veins beneath that pale skin. His fingers worked like spider legs to turn the page, his chest pressing firmly against my cheek when he drew breath. I could feel his timber reverberating as he spoke, each word enunciated like a work of art. He knew my favorite lines, and he turned his head to breathe them warmly through my hair. He knew I loved that; knew how to tease my skin with his fingertips to soothe me. These and other undefinable things Loki knew, because he _was_ my Lani and always had been. My darling lady was not gone, just different.

I ran my own fingers along his belly, drawing my nameless shapes and sending shivers through him in return. _'I wonder, if everything else seems the same, is his skin like satin as well?'_ I knew what finding out would do to him, but I honestly wasn't above a little revenge. I eased my fingers down to the hem of his shirt and slipped them under. I heard his heart quicken. When my fingertips met his skin, his words faltered; when my nails skimmed, his breath hitched.

"You know how dangerous that is," he warned even as he pressed into my hand.

I feigned innocence. "I just wanted to know if your skin felt the same as before."

"And?"

I ran my fingers along the line of his ribs to his side and tucked my arm around him. I knew better than to tease him more than this if I wasn't looking for a different kind of reaction.

"Just how I remember."

He placed a lingering kiss on my hair, his heartbeat calmed again, and he resumed the book. We both fought sleep for as long as we could, taking turns reading to keep alert. Eventually, it had its way with us. Loki clung to me just as I did to him, well aware this was the last night we would share a bed for Hel only knew how long. I slumbered lightly, waking to every shift and sound to make sure I wasn't alone. I often found Loki's bleary green eyes doing the same. We were both still tired when we woke a final time to the indisputable signs of day.

"What time is it?" Loki asked, groggy.

"I don't care." I tightened my hold on him.

"My love…" he urged.

"No." I wasn't ready to let go.

Rage and sorrow burned equally in my chest and found its way to my eyes. Loki thumbed away a few of the escaped tears and pecked my nose.

"It would be best if Thor was not made to fetch me himself."

I sniffled and crushed him in my arms for as long as my muscles held out. Perhaps, if I held tightly enough, it might keep him here. It was childish logic, dissolving as quickly as it formed. Clinging and screaming weren't going to help. I chose to believe what I felt, that this was as difficult for Loki as it was for me. The best thing I could do was to make it as easy as possible for the both of us.

"Okay." I drew a steadying breath. "Okay." I was as ready as I was going to be.

I untangled and escaped the bed before I could change my mind. We fell into our usual morning routine without question, freshening up and making our way to the kitchen. Out of habit, Loki began pulling together dishes for breakfast, but it felt somehow wrong this morning. I walked over and set a hand atop his to halt him. He questioned me with a glance.

"Let me today… I feel like I should." When he quirked a brow, I clarified, "I want to."

A smirk played at the corner of his lips and he conceded. He seated himself at the dining table where he could watch me, an elbow propped up and his chin resting lightly on his knuckles, free hand on his knee regally. I tried to ignore the feel of his eyes on me every moment, tracking each movement and gesture. Scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, toast and jam, and coffee; an especial meal for a morose occasion. I set the table and he waited for me to seat myself before eating as I always did with him. I could tell my salmon wasn't quite right, but Loki didn't tease me for it and, in fact, cleared his plate.

"Takk, min kjaere," he thanked me, placing a kiss on my hair before disappearing to the shower.

I collected and rinsed the dishes, fighting against the burning in my chest that returned the moment he left my sight. '_He's coming back. This isn't really good-bye.'_ I thought over and over, trying to make the words stick, but they were empty. Something inside me warned that this was it; this was the last I would ever see of Loki. '_No! He promised!'_ I argued against it, but it wouldn't be quieted. Defiant, I dried my hands and returned to the bedroom to wait for him, making the bed and laying his clothes out neatly. I dressed and worried at one of his boots with a soft cloth I used for my own work shoes, still trying to silence the nagging paranoia.

Seeing his face again did the trick. He grinned at me, combing through his hair.

"If you were insistent enough to go so far as to polish my boots, I wonder why you could not also offer to wash my back," he bemoaned.

For a moment, I considered throwing the boot at him. As though reading my mind, he eyed me warily until I set the boot down and placed my hands neatly in my lap with a patient smile. Only then did he approach the bed to begin dressing. I watched him slither into piece after piece, and plucked up one I anticipated he would need next. I was correct; he requested it from me with a hand, and instead I rose to my feet.

"Show me where it goes?"

"Sophia, you are not my dressing-hand…" He seemed almost insulted by my choosing to act as such.

I refused to drop my eyes, but worried at the bit of reinforced leather. "Please, let me do this for you."

After a moment he sighed and raised his arm, showing me where around his side and back it belonged. He indulged me through to the end, turning and angling as needed for me to set, adjust, and buckle it all in place. I held his coat so he could shrug into it easily, smoothing it along his shoulders. I folded and tucked his sleeves into place so he could set his golden gauntlets, and when he was finished, I tugged lightly at them to ensure they were solid. The cold, unforgiving metal made me realize Loki's time away could be dangerous, and I prayed as I traced the intricate designs carve into them. '_Protect him, please, keep him in one piece to return to me.' _Loki drew me close, pressing my forehead against the hard leather of his chest piece. This one as well, I pleaded with, placing a kiss on the curved gold band.

"You will keep yourself well, yes?" he asked.

"I will take care of myself, of course," I assured him.

He stepped away, taking my hands and pressing my knuckles against his lips.

"You have already done more on my behalf and for my sake than I can say, but I must beg your indulgence for two last requests."

"Whatever you need."

Loki nodded and moved to fetch the ring boxes that still sat on the bedside table. He placed them in my hands, curling my fingers tightly and pressing them firmly against my chest.

"Safeguard these for me. I _will_ return for mine."

"That, you needn't have asked," I almost laughed.

He nodded, then furrowed his brows. "I also need you to…" he trailed off as though not wanting to ask. "Pass a message on to Stark."

I frowned. "_Tony_ Stark?"

He nodded, still displeased. "Please tell him Thor can be found at the Viking Ship museum in Oslo."

I blinked at him. "Isn't that cliché?"

"Perhaps, but these things must be kept simple for simpletons."

The fact that Loki, God of Mischief, just called genius Tony Stark a simpleton was the most hilarious thing I had heard all morning. I broke out laughing, and Loki nodded solemnly while still managing to look quite pleased with himself. I couldn't help but appreciate the joke.

I caught my breath. "Consider it done."

Loki nodded and drew me in for a long, deep embrace. "Say it for me once more, my dear."

My chest burned again, but I held it back, keeping my voice clear and full of conviction for him. "I believe in you; Loki, my love."

His arms tightened, crushing me against him until I couldn't breathe. Then, all at once, he released and stepped away from me. The expression on his face was peaceful as he melted into a cloud of black smoke and was gone. Just gone. No final kiss, no good-bye. Just…gone. It sent me into a state of shock. As though responding to an unperceived trigger, I found myself meandering into the living room with the ring boxes still in my hands. I clung to the last vestiges of strength within; I still had a task to complete. I set my work laptop on the coffee table and pulled up my e-mail. I couldn't register just how much of a breach of etiquette it would be, and even if I could I wouldn't care. I pulled the years-old old e-mail from "Happy" Hogan from my archives and composed a simple message.

_"Dear Mr. Hogan,_

_I have been asked to inform Mr. Stark that Thor of Asgard can be found at the Viking Ship museum in Oslo, Norway. As I do not have a way to contact him myself, I would greatly appreciate it if you would pass the message along to him._

_Very respectfully,_

_Sophia Jerman"_

I proofread it out of habit, clicked "send", and slumped back on the couch. I'd done as Loki asked, and he was gone. The burning in my chest returned, but I didn't fight it this time. The tears streamed down my face without sobs, sinking into my skin and spreading like Novocain. Time meant nothing, hunger meant nothing, all I knew was the struggle to take my next breath; alone.

* * *

Sophia had exampled every aspect of fortitude, duty, and nobility Loki could have hoped to expect from his future queen; he could not have been prouder. That was all behind him now, though. He had to put it out of his mind, out of his heart, and focus on the task at hand.

He appeared in an inconspicuous corner outside the hostel where Thor still waited and assumed the appearance of a generic local male. It would be too easy for him to come across someone that recognized the face of Lani, and it would raise too many questions.

Inside, the boarders were still breakfasting, and it was a simple matter to locate his brother. Loki need only find the loudest throng of people. Sure enough, he found the God of Thunder conversing in Old Asgardian with his new acquaintances. Loki waited patiently for him to finish his meal and trailed him outside. Once he was a fair distance from the others, Loki approached.

Thor gave him a polite smile and greeting, which Loki did not bother answering.

"I am ready, brother, when you are."

Thor took a moment, then nodded once he understood.

"Then, let us be on our way."

Loki nodded. "Though, tell me, how do you plan to contact your old friend, Stark?"

Thor frowned. "I have been exploring options."

Loki hummed, unimpressed. "Lucky for you, I have already done so."

"How?"

Loki began walking along the gravel path, drawing Thor with him toward the city. "Always you are surprised by such things. Here I thought you had grown used to them by now."

"It is more the manner in which you accomplish them that concerns me, rather than the fact they are accomplished." Thor fell into step beside him.

Loki ignored the unspoken question, though it was a fair concern. "Since you intend to return to Asgard with me, perhaps we should discuss how you intend to introduce me to your friend."

"Yes, he would not be exactly pleased to see you, would he?" Thor looked Loki up and down. "I suppose you could be my servant."

Loki chuckled. "I think not. Guard, perhaps."

"I suppose that would do, though not as well."

Loki resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Thor grinned. They bantered idly as they walked, and when Thor asked about Loki's companion, he deftly avoided the question.

"I do hope your worshipers do not delay us. We are expected."

"Indeed? Where?"

"At one of the museums. I doubt Stark himself will show, but his lackies are all about. Surely one of them will seek us out there now that he is aware you are on Earth."

Although Loki took the most direct path he knew to the museum, they were, as he feared, detained here and there by those who recognized Thor. It was New York all over again before they encountered that detestable so-called wizard. They did manage to arrive at their destination and seated themselves outside to wait beneath overcast skies. The silence between them felt natural, so neither was inclined to break it, and Loki was thankful. They watched the people pass, a few stopping for Thor, and this time Loki actually did roll his eyes. Eventually, a highly polished black car with tinted windows pulled up in front of them. From the passenger side came a severe looking man in a suit and sunglasses. He examined Loki and Thor, removed his glasses, and looked again.

"Point Break?"

Thor chuckled and rose. "I am he. Did Stark send you?"

"He did. Please come with us."

The man opened the rear passenger door, and Thor slipped inside. The driver did the same for Loki. Once they were each settled and buckled, the pulled off, and Loki closed his eyes for the length of the drive, listening, pondering, and scheming.

_"Sophia, my star,"_ he thought as though he could force the words into her mind, "_wait for me."_


	26. Chapter 26

A hotel in Oslo; the penthouse suite; Loki overlooking the city from the balcony; Thor conversing with Stark on a viewing pad; lightening in the distance; the promise of rain.

Loki felt each heartbeat in detail, felt his blood gush from one chamber to the next before rushing out into his arteries, pulsing through his veins, and returning once more to his heart. He felt the static in the air keenly, tasted the sweet storm that approached on every part of his tongue, and watched the humans follow their concrete paths below like ants in a child's science project. He kept his eyes on the city, not allowing himself to glance out toward the lake where his home-… where _her_ home…stood; where _she_ was. When the temptation became too great, he retreated inside, leaving the door open to welcome the cool, moist breeze.

He set himself on the loveseat like a throne, sprawling comfortably and setting his cheekbone against a knuckle. His long fingers tapped at the arm in a slow, deliberate rhythm, one finger after the other, each in its own time, and he attempted to quiet the restlessness that slithered around in his stomach.

A knock at the door.

Loki was on his feet in a breath, crossed the room in three great strides, and tore the door open. Room service. His heart dropped. Had he truly been so naïve as to think it could possibly be Sophia? '_I'm supposed to have put her behind me for now but…_' He stood aside to permit the man with the cart entry, watched as he set the dining table with the fare, and then locked the door behind him. Thor was still speaking to Stark in the adjoining room, so Loki examined the table, plucked a grape from the bunch and lifted it to his lips. His stomach protested immediately. He set it beside its fellows still on their stems. Loki seated himself once more on the loveseat, elbows on his knees, and conjured a dagger to practice with while he continued to wait.

At long last, Thor emerged and placed the clear tablet on the counter. Now that he was certain no one would see, Loki released his guise. Thor considered the food on the table for a moment, noticed how nothing had been taken, and then regarded Loki.

"Are you not hungry, brother?"

Loki kept his eyes fixed on his hands as he continued to dance his blade between his fingers, voice empty. "I ate before meeting you. Please, help yourself."

"Loki, that was hours ago…" Thor noted with concern. "Take a bit of bread, at least."

"I am not hungry, but thank you."

Thor plucked something from a plate and came to stand before Loki, offering a bit of cheese.

Loki paused, grasping his blade by the handle. He eyed the cheese, then Thor. "…Will it quiet you?"

Thor nodded, and Loki took it with a sigh, forced it past his lips, and swallowed without chewing. For himself, Thor took a full plate of meats, breads, cheese, fruits, and a small block of honey comb. He sat himself on the couch caddy corner to Loki and place the plate on the table between them, no doubt hoping to tempt him.

"You seem anxious," Thor said, choosing a morsel from the spread.

"I am considering Asgard," Loki excused. "If the situation is as dire as you've made it out to be, then immediate action must be taken upon our return."

"You were never one to fret over details you did not yet have. What else is troubling you?"

Loki examined the dagger in his hand. In truth, there was indeed something else on his mind other than Sophia or Asgard; but how to broach the subject without giving away too much? He urged his lingering sentiment to bleed from the thought of Sophia to Thor. Not an ideal solution, but it allowed him to fully tuck her memory into a dark recess of his mind, the way he knew he needed. As for his brother…

Loki licked his lips, flicking his eyes to Thor before resting them again on his blade. "If I am forced to be brutally honest," The words were abrasive on his tongue, but he spoke them nevertheless, "I find myself concerned for your state."

Thor's hand slowed and paused to rest the grape in his fingers on his lips, his gaze dropping to the floor. "How do you mean?"

"There is something less about you now, mean and hesitant. This is not the Thor I once knew."

"You aren't exactly the Loki I once knew, either, so I suppose we both are strangers to one another again." He, like Loki before him, set the grape back on the plate.

Loki's lips drew into a thin line. Thor had never been good at hiding what he was feeling, and Loki saw in him a vague inclination of remorse or regret. Loki convinced himself it was purely in the interest of understanding what had transpired as he rose, strode cautiously around the table, and seated himself beside his brother. He waved his dagger away, leaned forward on his knees, hands clasped, and regarded Thor with a sideways glance.

"It is true that we are much altered from our days of boyhood, but no matter the circumstances or happenings, there are some things that do not change without significant cause." Loki let his words sink in for a moment before continuing, inquiring in earnest. "Thor, my brother, what is the weight you bear which steals the light from your eye?"

Thor slowly leaned back into the couch, gaze distant and fixed on the nothing before him. He worried at his hands, quiet for a long time. _'Perhaps considering how much he can trust me,'_ Loki thought.

"Thor; please. We cannot work in harmony if I do not know what burdens your heart."

Thor's mouth worked as he tried to find words, lips quivering when he found them but could not speak them, and tears welled in his eye. He drew a deep breath, and looked to the god beside him. Loki had never seen such pain on Thor's face in all their years, not even when their mother was murdered.

"All this; it is my fault," Thor whispered. He drew another, shaky, breath. "I should have gone for the head…"

Loki squinted and tilted his head in question. Thor placed a hand across his eyes, and Loki waited patiently for him to collect himself.

"I placed the blame for Hela and Ragnarok at your feet, yet I am the one guilty of a crime far greater. Once again, I allowed my emotions to rule me, and because of that, Thanos-…"

Loki watched Thor struggle in vain to speak through his clenched throat. He did not need Thor to explain further; Loki was sharp enough to piece it together. Thanos's snap was Thor's failure. As Thor leaned forward, face in his hands, Loki placed a tentative hand on his trembling shoulder. Not even his silver tongue could find words to ease his brother's anguish. A distraction instead, perhaps. Loki waited the great while for Thor to calm and licked his dry lips.

"What did you and Stark talk about?"

Thor sat himself up slowly, hands falling limp between his legs and Loki removed his hand from Thor's shoulder. "He will arrive tomorrow afternoon to take us to the Bifrost site. Apparently, far more progress was made on it than I had been led to believe, so we should be able to depart within a day or so."

"The sooner the better, yes?"

Thor's lips quirked into an empty smile, appreciative of Loki's apparent attempt to cheer him. Words felt wrong now with the air so heavy with Thor's shame, and Loki rubbed his hands together in slow circles as he tried to feel out a way to remove himself from the uncomfortable situation without appearing callous. He eyed the plate of food. Nothing on it was appealing, and his stomach was knotted from even the small bit of cheese he'd swallowed, but he reached across Thor and pulled it closer. If he ate, perhaps it would soothe his brother enough to allow him a graceful parting for the night.

He nudged a strawberry away and extracted a slice of meat, chewing only as much as was needed before swallowing. He forced down another morsel, then another, and then Thor began doing the same. Between them, they emptied the plate until only the honeycomb remained. Each eyed it, considering the same thing, but Thor acted first. He slid the plate in front of Loki.

"It's the last of such a delicacy you'll chance to have for some time," he reasoned.

Loki nodded his gratitude, unwilling to argue with Thor in such a precarious state. He allowed the honeycomb to melt on his tongue despite his body's complaints, attempting to relish it to no avail. He forced himself to swallow, shuddering against the sensation before licking his fingers clean. Thor rose soon after and made his way around the table.

"I think I will retire."

Loki glanced at the digital clock; it was only seven thirty, but this was the exit he sought. "Good night, then, brother."

Thor did not answer, did not wave or spare Loki any sort of glance before disappearing into the bedroom. Loki watched after him for a long moment. _'Something inside you is truly dead now, isn't it?'_ He could not help his bitter smile. '_Perhaps now you will understand what it is like…'_

Morning came and melted into afternoon. Between them, they finished off the last of the room service, and Thor took the second honeycomb at Loki's insistence. As promised, Tony Stark arrived at the hotel, Loki resumed his guise, and the brothers went down to meet him. Stark was a far cry from the rambunctious yet suave man that had once threatened Loki with a Hulk. His hair was almost entirely grey, his youth had completely faded, and he looked worn to the bone. It did not stop him from breaking into a broad grin and throwing his arms open in welcome.

"Point Break! How have you been?"

Thor strode forward and embraced his old friend carefully. Loki watched from a polite distance, silently gloating about his own lengthy prime.

"It is good to see you, too, Stark."

"You grew your hair back out, I see. And," Tony lowered his sunglasses to look closer, "what happened to your eye? I thought Rabbit gave you a new one."

"Rocket," Thor corrected politely, "and unfortunately, like the original, I lost it in battle." He didn't address his longer hair.

"Uh huh. You really need to stop doing that, you know. One day you might lose the other; and I can tell you: one eye patch definitely works with the ladies, makes you seem roguish; two, eeeh, not so much." Thor chuckled and Stark looked around him to Loki. "You must be….Earl? Erland?"

"Erland," Thor corrected.

Loki gave a stiff half-bow in greeting

"Right. Well, now that we're all friends," Stark motioned to the car. As Thor ducked inside, Stark pointed at him and addressed Loki. "You gotta tell me, what's it like running around with this guy these days?"

Loki forced a civil expression as he followed Thor's example. "I could not aptly put it to words, sir."

Stark looked disappointed only for a moment before shrugging and sliding in behind them. While Thor and Loki attempted to find a comfortable position for their long legs, Tony closed his eyes and took a short breather in his seat until the car pulled away.

"So," he said, rolling his head to look at Thor, "Tell me, what are we looking at? What do you need?"

Loki watched and listened while Stark and Thor discussed details of what New Asgard required as well as what Stark could provide and when. While it was admirable that Stark was still willing to offer aid, Loki doubted it would be enough or in time to matter. If Thor suspected the same, he gave no indication, whole-heartedly accepting Stark's offers. _'They discuss only food, clothing, and make-shift shelters. Useful, and needed, but they are only balms, not solutions,'_ Loki thought.

"…with the right fertilizer, you should be able to grow it anywhere you want." Stark was saying, and Thor was continuing to nod along.

Loki leaned forward to politely indicate he had words. Eventually, Stark paused to draw breath, and Thor took notice.

"Yes, Erland?"

"I do not mean to sound presumptuous, but please do not forget about the ship, sire." Loki longed for something to wash the bitter taste of the words from his mouth.

Thor blinked, then realization lit his face. "Oh! Yes!"

Loki leaned back and resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Thor launched into an explanation about the ruined ship. _'As I suspected, he completely forgot…No wonder New Asgard is in such dire straits.'_

Loki could not remember nodding off during the extended conversation, but awoke some time later to Thor's hand on his shoulder. They had arrived. The three men extracted themselves from the vehicle and stretched before following Stark up the main walkway to the entrance. He waved the security officer away, leading them inside on his own authority. Thor continued to listen as Stark rambled on about things he thought of interest about the place, most of which was in terms neither god understood. As they walked the circular halls, Loki recalled all Sophia had told and shown him about the building and her contributions. Power flows, communication lines, fail safes; he remembered it all. If the need arose, he could cripple this facility, and by listening to and watching Stark and his technicians, he discovered how it operated. The details might have gone over Thor's head, but not Loki's.

"So, I'm being told everything is ready. Just do whatever it is you do to open your bridge, and make sure it's pointed at that platform. After that, I can open it from this end," Stark concluded.

Thor's eye was glazed, but he nodded once more. "Thank you again, my friend. We will be sure to put your aid to good use."

The three of them took the next couple of hours to sort through what was already on hand at the facility, packing it away in a crate that Thor and Loki could take with them this trip. Stark was visibly tired by the end of it, but forced himself to stay awake to the end. He escorted Thor and Loki to the bottom most level where the walkway was already extended to let them cross to the platform at the center of the teardrop-shaped room. Stark clapped Thor in a final embrace.

"Don't be a stranger, now. I still throw the best New Year's parties at Stark Tower."

Thor chuckled. "I will endeavor to make time."

They parted, and Thor took up one end of the crate. Loki took up the other, and as they began across the walkway, Stark called to him.

"Hey, Duke of Earl! Keep Point Break out of trouble!"

Loki raised a hand in acknowledgement, biting his tongue. Thor snickered once they were set in the center of the platform. Thor raised a hand to indicate they were ready. Beneath them, a great whirring began.

"Duke of Earl, now, is it?" Thor mused quietly.

Loki sneered. "Do not even start…"

"You're right, Reindeer Games sound better."

"It's as though you are desperate to give me a reason to stab you."

Thor chuckled. When he was given the signal from Stark's technicians, he called to Tyr. The response was delayed, but soon Loki's world was engulfed in the familiar rainbows of the Bifrost. He did not look down, did not look back. He stumbled slightly when his feet found the receiving platform of the Observatory, out of practice, and immediately dropped his guise. He took a moment to straighten the lapels of his coat as he strode to follow Thor, the crate still between them. Loki did not recognize the man that stood at the pedestal, drawing the sword from its stand, but it was easy to guess.

"Welcome home," the man said, addressing Thor, who paused.

"Thank you. Tyr, you are familiar with Loki. Brother, this is Tyr."

Each scrutinized the other for a moment.

'_Similar enough to Heimdall to be mistaken at first glance, but the eyes are notably different; and he is not quite as tall.'_ Loki nodded. "A pleasure."

"Well met, your highness, it is good to see you returned. If I may be of service, you have but to ask," Tyr bowed.

Loki's brow twitched at being referred to as "highness", but he supposed Thor's stance on their mutual ranking had not been made known. He did not wish to chance the likelihood of its establishment, so said nothing. He fell into step alongside Thor, boots sounding on the Bifrost as the crossed. It was much shorter than Loki remembered, and only moments later they were descending a rocky slope into the hamlet below. It seemed little better than a war camp from Loki's perspective, but there was the unmistakable golden under-glow that confirmed he had returned. This was New Asgard. Their path took them down the center pathway, both Loki and Thor striding tall and proud. Loki's ears, however, could not ignore the murmurs as he passed.

"Is that Prince Loki? I thought he was dead?"

"The nerve…"

"It was only a matter of time."

"Can't believe his majesty brought him back here."

"We've enough trouble as is!"

"Such a relief."

"Is he going to help?"

"We're going to be alright!"

"Can we trust him?"

The path ended at the ramp and open door of the crashed ship from Sakaar. Once they were inside, Loki's expression fell just so. He had known what to expect, but the way Thor spoke allowed him to hope foolishly for a happier welcome. He would not make that mistake again. They set the crate against a wall Thor indicated, and Thor took his shoulder reassuringly.

"Do not mind their words, brother. They will come around."

"Will they…?" Loki gave him a doubtful look.

Thor's confidence faltered for a moment. Then, he grinned broadly and clapped Loki on the back. "Either way. You're home now, and that's all that matters."

* * *

_A/N: Hey everyone, thanks for reading! I sincerely hope you enjoyed this work. Unfortunately, I must mark this story as "Complete" do not have any near-future intentions to continue it in a sequel. My writing load has increased to a point that I can no longer carry the weight of a second major story. Not only am I still working to complete the revisions of "The Long Road to Freedom"(which is the length of a literary epic), but college and my full-time job both demand the best of my writing skills. If you have questions or comments, feel free to send them my way._


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